Friday, July 26, 2013

Update: 85-Year-Old Swami Up On Rape Charges

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Apparently, many are all a'flutter in India over the arrest of Swami Ram Tripathi, aka Kripalu Maharaj, in Trinidad and Tobago, accused by a 22-year-old Guyanese woman of rape at the ashram:
In her complaint to the police, the victim alleged that she was raped on Saturday night when she had gone to seek spiritual assistance and guidance from the swami.
As much as we love to bring news of the humanity of the allegedly divine, we just can't seem to get on board with these charges. The dude is 85-freaking-years-old, for Ma's sake! Why would he suddenly decide to try to tear off a piece of unwilling ass? It just doesn't add up... even to our jaded, mud-dwelling little mind.

This situation is developing, but we're gonna go out on a limb and back the Swami on this one. Hopefully the authorities in Trinidad and Tobago will see past the PR value of bagging a major religious figure and allow justice to prevail here.

Update: A reader with firsthand knowledge of the Swami spills the beans:
You don't know this guy it seems. He was already charged with rape a couple of decades ago in India, where the newspapers were headlined 'Bhakta Bhalaat ke'. I have the old news clipping and I know a bunch of people who he's made sex advances to over the years, which is why I'd like to see him pay for his crimes. One woman... told me he tried to rape her... last year. 85? How does anyone know how old he actually is? Seen his birth certificate? The guy's a fraud through and through, he'll tell any lie to get his ends. He fakes language difficulties, he may be faking his 'aged frailty' too.
Well! Once again, the contents and the cover don't match. We guess there's no age too old for a swami to be tryin' to get some.

Special note: Those Kool-Aid drinkers looking to show their support for the Swami should go elsewhere to express it. We're not going to publish the parade of sycophancy that's been coming through here today.

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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Sex-Crazed Swami Tries Gets To Skate

[Ed.note: The top three posts here were actually published previously. They were temporarily removed by Google in response to a DMCA take down attempt by the Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat, the organization behind Kripalu and Prakashanand. When I republished the posts with pictures and videos removed, they lost their place in the post stream.]

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

Sexed-up Swami Ram Tripathi, being held in Trinidad and Tobago on rape charges, pled for the return of his passport today:
Some 50 of his followers prayed and cried for the guru, who, dressed in a traditional saffron-coloured robe, spent several minutes in a courtroom dock with other men charged with robbery, burglary and murder.
Duh! That's where you end up when you're accused of raping a 22-year-old woman.

The 85-year-old swami is apparently quite the horn dog with a long history of sexual escapades with his female devotees, as well one who has a few unresolved rape cases back in India. Many are not surprised these charges have been made.

Nor will we be surprised if the swami never sets foot in Trinidad and Tobago again if he gets his passport back. Such an act would be tantamount to proclaiming him innocent for all the justice that would be left unserved.

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Kreepalu's Protegé Busted!

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Remember "Jagadguru" Kripalu Ji Maharaj, aka Kreepalu, the gopi-grabbing Krishna impersonator who skated rape charges in Trinidad/Tobago last year? His main man at his Texas temple, Prakashanand Saraswati, just got busted for the same sort of thing, but this time with underage girls:
A Hays County grand jury indicted Saraswati, also known as Shree Swamiji, on 20 counts of indecency with a child/sexual contact earlier this month. The investigation began last August.

According to the Associated Press, Saraswati is accused of groping two girls were under 17 on several occasions between 1993 and 1996.
Get ready for another barrage by the Kreepalu Kool-Aid Brigade, a sizable force of shallow-minded followers who are sure to flood the net shouting about an imagined anti-Hindu conspiracy, the better to distract you from the possibility that these rather creepy-looking old men may have been raping and molesting in the name of Krishna for years.

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Friday, May 04, 2012

Fellatio-On-Video-With-A-Movie-Star Is A Bitch For A Guru.

FIle under: Hands Where They Don't Belong, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Oops! Looks like Swami Nithyananda didn't throw enough money at his fellatio-on-video-with-a-movie-star problem:
For a self-styled ‘godman’ who was himself at the centre of a scandal that revolved around video footage of him allegedly disporting sexually with a Tamil actress … the karmic deeds of a past when kundalini forces—and the hormonal urges to which all men are susceptible—played havoc with a spiritual practice aren’t proving so easy to bury.
The brouhaha this time involves Nithy's infiltration and attempt to usurp a vaunted position in a venerable Hindu order. Seems only the truly celibate qualify:
A controversy has erupted over the appointment of Nityananda as the 293rd pontiff of the spiritual order, with heads of other Saivite spiritual orders taking strenuous objection to his appointment, citing the criminal cases still pending against him.

On Thursday, the Madras High Court ordered notice of admission on a writ petition seeking a direction to the State government to declare Nityananda’s appointment as illegal and to prevent him from acting as the guru.

The petition claimed that Nityananda, who had several cases (including case of sexual abuse) pending against him, was “absolutely incompetent” to hold the post that was venerated by Shiva devotees worldwide.

A second, PIL petition has been filed by M Solaikannan, a local politician, claiming that Nityananda had appointed himself the spiritual head after taking the previous (292nd) pontiff into his illegal custody by deploying “henchmen” from Karnataka. The petition sought a direction to the State government to take control of the Madurai Adheenam.

Solaikannan alleged that Nityananda “does not practice celibacy and is not a sanyasi”—in the sense that he had nor relinquished worldly pleasures—and was therefore ineligible to head the spiritual order.
It's nice to see that not everyone in India has been cowed, steamrolled, and/or hoodwinked into believing the Nithyananda sex tape was a special effects job rather than the plain old blow job it clearly depicts the swami receiving.

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Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Mohan Singh's Sex Racket Screwed Him

File under: Gurus Doin' Time, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

Mohan Singh, of the "I can empower you with some tantric energy transfer, Baby" school of enlightenment, (see Swami Nithyananda, Swami Muktananda, and so many others), is going to remain in jail for the misdeed.
The court heard Lyons, who adopted the name Mohan Singh, preyed on women who came to him for spiritual guidance. He had created a tight-knit group, described as a ‘cult’, made up predominantly of female followers …

New women were invited to Lyons’ gatherings with offers of communal food and enlightenment. There, they would be given treatments and assaulted …

Lord Justice Toulson dismissed the application for permission to appeal against conviction…
It looks like Mr. Singh will now have a lot more time to devote to his meditation.

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Saturday, March 03, 2012

She's Not Perfect, World Still Turns

File under Amma All-Over-The-Planet, Hands Where They Don't Belong, and The Siddhi of PR

You didn't know this, because Amma's little helpers are very efficient at disappearing the truth:
Rishi Taavi Kassila, top promoter, tour organizer, meditation instructor and ashram resident of the Amma Mata Amritanandamayi Devi Hugging Saint cult [in Finland] has been accused of sex addiction, abuse and dishonesty. Embarrassing testimony, posted by authenticated witnesses, challenged Kassila to defend himself in court. Publicly, the Amma cult responded with a single online statement denying their connection to the accused, Taavi Kassila. Secretly, Amma's helpers were scrubbing their internet servers, erasing all evidence of Taavi Kassila's long history of public service within the Amma cult.
While it maybe not be the fault of the hugging devi herself that her org's leader in Finland got handsy with the devotees, it's certainly her fault to order a coverup. What does this prove? That Amma is a businesswoman first and foremost, and that she and her org went into high gear to protect their source of revenue. The truth, meanwhile, gets hacked to death and left in a ditch to die.

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Thursday, December 08, 2011

Handsy Guru Pukes Gold

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Satscams

Sai Baba copycat fauxru Swami Vishwananda had to dissolve his spiritual organization in 2008 after it was discovered he was using his brahmacharis (novice renunciate monks) as a personal sex slave service. But pretty much like any other guru caught with his hands where they don't belong, he has managed to stay in business, and indeed, seems to be thriving. Because now, he miraculously vomits gold on YouTube.

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Friday, March 25, 2011

The Highest Loka An American Criminal Can Hope For

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Gurus Doin' Time

Swami Prakashanand Saraswati is still on the run, but we have a feeling the U.S. marshalls are closing in. Enjoy it while you can, Swamiji. You are now one of America's Most Wanted.

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Monday, March 07, 2011

PrakashakaBOOM Is On The Lam

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Swami Prakashanand Saraswati, recently convicted of 20 counts of child molestation, didn't show up at his sentencing hearing this morning:
A warrant has been issued for the 82-year-old Hindu guru convicted on all 20 counts of indecency with a child after he didn't show up for the punishment phase of the trial Monday morning.

Hays County sheriff's officials believe he is in the company of a woman named Vishwambhari Devi.
While PrakashakaBOOM is off playing Bonnie and Clyde, we wonder how Peter Spiegel is feeling. He's the sucker devotee who put up 10-million dollars in bail money for the slimy swami. The infomercial king made most of his money suckering folks with cheap products on TV. Whiplash karma, ye retribution is swift and deep.

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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Our Man In The Garage With The Goods

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

For those still interested in the ever-increasingly sordid affair of Swami Nithyananda, we would like to point out that our man in a parking structure somewhere deep in Bharat, Deepam Throat, just keeps coming up with the goods in the comments section of this blog. Here's a sample of some of today's latest:
The State Criminal Investigation Department (CID) sleuths have stumbled upon a personal bank account of self-styled godman Nithyananda with a leading private sector bank in Bangalore in which he has a whopping total deposit of around Rs 32 crore.

The bank has frozen the account at the behest of the CID which is looking into all the financial transactions –– accounted as well as unaccounted –– of the godman who is now under police custody for interrogation.

At least three other bank accounts where two trusts run by Nithyananda maintain a deposit of around Rs 20-25 crore have already been frozen. The CID is analysing these accounts and the sources of the funds. Efforts are also on to trace whether money from these accounts has been transferred to undisclosed banks abroad.
While we were overcome with Nithy fatigue weeks ago, DT is still going very strong, so keep your eyes on the comments section here for the latest in the saga of the sex tape swami.

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Friday, April 23, 2010

Straight-Up Pimpin' Swami Nithy

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Our turban has now been placed at the feet of the recently-arrested Swami Nithyananda. The man was clearly a superstar womanizer, a veritable Himalaya of seduction as an "enlightened master" employing his "powers" as a lure for the pretty, curvy things he was desiring to ravish.

One might ask the question, why didn't we hear about this sooner? One possible answer: this sex god had each of his conquests sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA), one that pretty much covers all the bases:
One clause of the agreement, accessed by TOI, states: “Volunteer understands that the Program may involve the learning and practice of ancient tantric secrets associated with male and female ecstasy, including the use of sexual energy for increased intimacy/spiritual connection, pleasure, harmony and freedom. Volunteer understands that these activities could be physically and mentally challenging, and may involve nudity, access to visual images, graphic visual depictions, and descriptions of nudity and sexual activity, close physical proximity and intimacy, verbal and written descriptions and audio sounds of a sexually oriented, and erotic nature, etc."

It further says: "By reading and signing this addendum, Volunteer irrevocably acknowledges that he/she is voluntarily giving his unconditional acceptance of such activities and discharges the Leader and the Foundation, and anyone else not specifically mentioned here but directly or indirectly involved in the organization, management or conduct of any such programs from any liability, direct or indirect, arising from such activities."
Swami Nithyananda was clearly getting his fill of guru groupie love, and as someone who knows no such thing, we must salute him. But we remain staunchly opposed to the idea that nondual understanding renders one a God rather than just a person who can see clearly that they are not one bit different in essence from anyone else on this planet. Nithy used the idea he was more God than you to fleece and to f**k. Now, he's paying for it with quadruple-interest and his own exposed receiving end.

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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Criminal Trial Of Prakashanand Saraswati Delayed — What A Surprise!!

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Doin' Time, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

[Ed.note: Our Austin correspondent and former member of the tainted temple in Texas where little girls allegedly got groped and diddled, comes through with another fine report on the ongoing legal saga of the God-faking Kreepalu protegé, Swami Prakashanand, known fauxfectionately to us as Swami Prakashaka BOOM!]

By a Former Barsana Dham Ashram Resident

October 6th, 2009 — As Eric Cartman on “South Park” might say: “Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well” — if he heard that the trial has been delayed in the case of The State of Texas vs. Prakashanand Saraswati on 20 counts of indecency with a child. Originally set to start on November 2, 2009, the trial was reset today to commence on January 11, 2010, as reported by the Austin American-Statesman.

Truth be told, many who know Prakashanand are not surprised. We expected the trial would be delayed all along.

I’m mean, after all, if you were an 80-year-old man who has had hundreds of people licking your heels and kissing another body part for the past several decades, would you be looking forward to standing trial for crimes you knew you were 100 percent guilty of committing?

Before you answer, consider the fact that you most likely would have squirreled away a significant amount of cash in places law-abiding citizens would never think to look in a country half a world away. I know that I would much rather live off-the-map in some remote village in India for the rest of my days on earth than in the Texas State prison system (where, if I were a “guru,” the other inmates might not treat me with the respect to which I’ve become accustomed).

A great deal of legal paper filing occurred over the past couple of weeks preceding today’s notice of the trial delay as stated in the Statesman. Here’s a little more insight:

  • Prakashanand’s high-priced lawyers motioned for, and were granted, discovery evidence in the form of the testimonies of the two female witnesses in the case. This, presumably, is the first time his legal counsel has had a clear view of the victims’ side of the case. I can only imagine the laundry bill after that shoe dropped.

  • Next Prakashanand’s lawyers requested to subpoena another person whom they claim “is material to the pending criminal prosecution” and without whom they claim “the Defendant in this pending criminal prosecution will in all reasonable likelihood be denied his rights of compulsory process.” Meanwhile, the lawyers had not yet seen this particular person’s personal report to the Hays County Sherriff’s office. Once they did read that report I can only imagine it was another “spit-hit-the-fan” moment.

  • Finally, yesterday the Hays County Public Access Website reported that the District Attorney for the case filed an application for 14 (yes, that’s fourteen! subpoenas). The motion cited eight people from the Barsana Dham ashram, located southwest of Austin, including four members of the five-member JKP-Barsana Dham management team.
The only member of the management team not on the subpoena request list is Prakashanand himself. After all, he doesn’t need to be subpoenaed. He’s the Defendant. He’ll be there on January 11th, 2010, to have his day in court and prove to the world that he is innocent of child molestation. Right? I mean he will, won’t he? (I kind of like the reporter’s commentary: “If the trial does get underway then …”)

Perhaps Prakashanand will even perform a few divine miracles for those of us in the courtroom to prove once and for all that he really is a God-realized Saint. Lord knows, he hasn’t performed any miracles yet surrounding his arrest and the nearly year-and-a-half drawn out legal battle!

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Defined: Hands Where They Don't Belong

File under: Gurubusting and Hands Where They Don't Belong

A reader sent us an interesting photo this morning:

Now you know what we mean when we say "hands where they don't belong."

Source. Original source.

Update: According to a commenter, this is a photo of the mostly well-respected, recently-deceased yoga guru Krishna Pattabhi Jois of Ashtanga Yoga. That being the case, this is still wildly inappropriate, in our opinion.

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

Dahngerous "Yoga"

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and Hands Where They Don't Belong

A reader turned us on to a fine piece of investigative journalism about Korean guru Ilchi Lee's Dahn Hak, aka Dahn Yoga in the States, an org that's chock full of the usual culty nastiness in which lives are wrecked while the cash gets clocked:
Shipley, now 25, is one of 27 former Dahn practitioners who filed suit in Arizona in May claiming the group subjected them to psychological manipulation and fraudulently induced them to spend thousands of dollars on Dahn yoga classes and retreats in Sedona, Ariz. and other places. The punishing techniques, they say, included forced isolation from friends and families, exercises like bowing 3,000 times all night long without breaks, disciplining members by sticking their heads in the toilet and making them lick other members' feet, and having them hold certain poses, like the push-up position, for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. On top of those charges, the suit alleges that Ilchi Lee, the 57-year-old Korean founder of Dahn and its spiritual leader, sexually preyed on young female disciples.
Dahn makes its money the traditional way, squeezing it out of hapless initiates with "money training," ridiculous quackery and straight-up pseudo-science:
Dahn centers sell a variety of products it deems healing-related. Nina Miller, a plaintiff in the Arizona suit, is seeking reimbursement for the $1,800 she spent on a gold painted "Okum turtle"--an item purportedly made from "living metallic materials" that "optimizes harmony within the body." For $450 Dahn sells a kit that includes a Brain Respiration Quotient, a transmitter that uses light and sound to supposedly stimulate the brain, and Power Brains, a brain-shaped handheld vibrator that is said to increase awareness during meditation.

Testimonials on the company's Web site claim brain wave vibration has lowered high blood pressure, corrected lazy eyes and healed the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. But the company cannot point to any independent peer-reviewed studies vouching for its effectiveness. Brian Cummings, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, says calling it pseudoscience would be generous. "Exercising, stretching and meditating may be beneficial to health. But there is no science behind the claim that vibrations in the body alter brain activity in a meaningful way," says Cummings.
And guess where all the money goes:
Dahn claims that founder Ilchi Lee is no longer directly involved in the company but instead runs a consulting firm, BR Consulting, which owns the intellectual property used by Dahn Yoga. (Lee is seeking to dismiss the suit against him on this basis as well.) But according to the plaintiffs, Ilchi Lee controls them all. They claim Dahn's profits are transferred to Lee and used to fund a lifestyle that includes a horse ranch in Arizona, high stakes gambling, a yacht and a private jet. forbes confirmed that BR Consulting owns the jet, the horse ranch and some residential properties.
In the end, you'll take it in the end for the guru and like it. This is the operating principle of almost every bit-time guru's satsang. Lee is no exception, and apparently, despite all the bad press he's generating in the States, there's still a full, rich market of the disaffected from which he can continue to steal.

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Friday, June 26, 2009

Maya's A Bitch—A Blow-by-Blow Of The Latest Blow To Prakashanand's Status As Ruler of Maya

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Doin' TIme, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

[Ed.note: We just love it when an insider comes through with the straight skinny. All are invited to fill us in on the shenanigans of their present or former gurus. Much thanks to the soul who's provided today's tasty treat covering a Gp fave, Swami Prakashaka BOOM!]

By a Former Barsana Dham Ashram Resident

How much does it cost to have some highfaluting lawyers appeal a judge's ruling in the Texas Court of Appeals? Estimates range from $75,000 and $100,000. For that kind of money you would think that maya would bend a little to a swami's demands. But no such luck. On Wednesday June 24th, Prakashanand Saraswati was thwarted for the third time in his efforts to return to his 250-some-acre, multi-million-dollar ashram southwest of Austin.

He's been blocked from entering his former sanctuary since May 3rd, 2008, by his own agreement with the court after he was arrested on 20 counts of indecency with two children who grew up there.

On the day Prakashanand's legal "team" made their plea to the Texas Court of Appeals, they repeated one mantra over and over to the three judges: "Barsana Dham has 54 adult residents and no children." (I wonder if they were using japa beads?)

What an odd refrain. And an obvious stretch of the truth. While it's true that no children "live" there, plenty visit and stay overnight in the ashram's many guest quarters. Plus, one regular teenage visitor sleeps in the temple in a room roughly 100 yards from Prakashanand's bedroom door. What's more, Barsana Dham holds "Family Camps" a couple of times a year -- during which many families, including their children, spend several nights. And there are children running around the place on any given day of the week and during holidays. The place is a kid magnet!

Is that why an accused pedophile wants back inside his ashram? I don't know the answer to that (though I can guess). But one has to wonder why he would spend so much time and money trying to get back into this particular piece of God's green earth before his trial—where he can allegedly prove his innocence and get on with his life.

After all, the man has multiple other homes around the world. He's got three suites in three ashrams in India, one in New Zealand, and one in LA. He can stay in any devotee's home anywhere he travels. Why, oh why, does he need so desperately to be back in Barsana Dham?

There is only one reason: Keeping the myth alive.

I mean, come on: How must it look that a God-realized Saint cannot control maya? How must it appear to those 54 residents that their Lord and master is so powerless? How must it look to new people that the guru can't even appear in the flesh in his own ashram?

In the motion to the Court of Appeals, filed in January 2009, Prakashanand's lawyers claimed that by not allowing him into Barsana Dham, the court "violated his rights under the First, Eighth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution." They cried that he was deprived of practicing his faith. Oh. My. God.

Hey, Prakashanand, I thought you taught us to practice titiksha and do our devotions every second of every day no matter if we are hungry, cold, hot, sick, or whatever. Come on, buddy. A little practice-what-you-preach would be nice.

Oh and I love that this man is suddenly so keen on his own rights under U.S. law—meanwhile, has no qualms about breaking them to suit his, uh, needs.

Meanwhile, back in May 2008, at his first hearing, Prakashanand's lawyers asked the Hays County Judge to amend the conditions of his bond, asking for the return of his passport, the reduction of his bond, and for access back into Barsana Dham. They added: "We'd like to focus on the returning of the passport and travel to India as a change in conditions."

After a few minutes of deliberation in the judge's chambers, both parties agreed that he could have his passport back, but have no further access inside of Barsana Dham (because that's where the crimes allegedly occurred). When they returned to the courtroom, the judge stated clearly: "[J]ust for the record, the passport will be returned with the additional conditions that you have agreed on, including the new bond" (which was $10 million to ensure his return for the trial). Prakashanand's counsel responded, "That's correct, Your Honor."

Famous last words. By August 20th, his lawyers were back in the courtroom begging for their client's access to Barsana Dham. The judge said "no." They tried again on Sept. 29th. The judge again said "no." So it was off to the Court of Appeals. And the resulting third blow to Prakashanand's status as controller of maya.

My favorite line of the Texas Court of Appeals oral argument is this: "Appellant's (Prakashanand's) inability to return to Barsana Dham was no less a hindrance to his ability to practice his religion or associate with his followers in May than it was in August, or than it is today."

OH, BURN! Chief Justice of the Texas Court of Appeals, J. Woodfin Jones, do you know who you just smacked down? May I touch your feet?

What I really love, what really brings a smile to my face, what is truly a great practical joke by God—is that every time Prakashanand is driven to his way-more-modest Austin-area residence (in a devotee's home 2.5 miles down the road on RR 1826), he has to drive right past his resplendent Barsana Dham ashram.

Oh what a cruel, cruel world. ;-)

[Ed.note: Check this out for a bit more exposure of the hijinks at Barsana Dham, and at the mother org, Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat.]

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Saturday, April 25, 2009

One-Year Arrest Update on Prakashanand — He Must Be Praying for a Miracle

File under: Gurus Doin' Time, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

By a former resident of Barsana Dham

[Ed.note: This is the first of what we hope will be many stories written by the readers of this blog. This first piece about Prakashaka BOOM, longtime Gp target Kreepalu's agent in America, is excellent and sets the bar quite high at the onset. If you'd like to have your say about your ex-guru, drop us a line at].

25 April 2009 — Last year on this day, Swami Prakashanand Saraswati was cooling his heels in a prison in Alexandria, Virginia. Today he is obsessively compulsively flying back and forth from India to Austin; perhaps trying to shore up his life before he returns to jail — permanently.

Last year, on Thursday, April 24, 2008, after exiting an international flight at Washington Dulles International Airport, Prakashanand was taken into custody by U.S. Marshals from the Capital Area Regional Fugitive Task Force and arrested on 20 counts of indecency with a child. From that afternoon until Saturday afternoon, he was in the custody of law enforcement officers. If justice is served, he will spend the rest of his life in their company.

However, for the past year he has been free on one million dollars bail for the case involving two female minors. He also has a $10 million bond posted by one of his wealthy followers to ensure that he shows up for pre-trial hearings and the trial. The bond was posted so that he could receive his passport back. One stipulation of his bond is that he cannot step one foot back into the multi-million dollar ashram he built southwest of Austin with followers’ money. When in Austin, he stays two miles down the road at a home owned by one of his followers.

He has spent a considerable amount of time and money trying to move heaven and earth to get back into his “magical kingdom.” But so far Hays Judge Charles R. Ramsay has said no way two times. Now Prakashanand is trying his luck with the Texas 3rd Court of Appeals.

He also appears to be fighting like hell to postpone the actual trial for as long as humanly possible. In fact, for the past year he has not had one single pre-trial hearing. In the past year, Prakashanand’s case has been set and reset eight times, according to an article published Friday by Eric Dexheimer, an Austin American-Statesman journalist following the case. He wrote: “Prakashanand’s case has been winding through the court system at an unusually slow pace.” The Hays DA said in an email to him: “It is true that cases typically are not reset or canceled this many times in my experience.”

Although the Hays County DA has not revealed why the hearings have been delayed, rumors indicate that the excuses include Prakashanand claiming illness and hiring new lawyers (who then need time to get up to speed on the case).

The main reason is likely that he is praying for miracle: Hoping that his bad karma will all just go away.

You can be sure that Prakashanand is sparing no expense (of his followers’ donations) for the most aggressive legal defense. On one recent document submitted to the 3rd Court for his appeal there were seven lawyers cited. One of his lawyers brags on his firm’s website about his history of keeping accused murders and child molesters out of jail.

Since Prakashanand’s arrest, Barsana Dham has propagated much misinformation. Most notably, they have been telling followers and new parishioners that the women in the indictment are claiming sexual abuse by Prakashanand, because “they are angry at their parents” and “mad that they had to grow up in Barsana Dham.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

The two women are, in fact, among the bravest people on the planet. They stood up to this man and his criminal behavior when so many others have left the organization quietly or turned a blind eye to the truth.

But Barsana Dham’s preachers and other higher-ups have not only committed lies of commission regarding this case. They have also omitted sharing several salient points including:

    The Hays County Sheriff’s office conducted a criminal investigation before they arrested Prakashanand.
    The Hays DA presented the case to a 12-member Grand Jury. This means that 12 citizens of Hays County heard the state’s case and agreed that there was enough evidence to indict Prakashanand of 20 counts of indecency with a child.
    Four branches of the law were involved in Prakashanand’s arrest — which could have occurred in Austin, Texas: But didn’t.
    Barsana Dham’s leadership calls former members “demons,” because they are speaking out about Prakashanand’s (and Barsana Dham’s other guru, Kripalu Maharaj’s) criminal behavior. The organization forbids current members to have any contact with them. Barsana Dham prefers its ex-members to just go away quietly — and, of course, has profited from people doing just that for decades.
    Prakashanand’s lawyers are bending the truth on his filings, including the brief to the 3rd Court of Appeals.
The irony is that Prakashanand’s followers treat him as if he is God. So, why aren’t they asking themselves: How could God get himself into such a mess — and, even more telling, why can’t he gracefully get himself out?

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Über-Kreepy Gurus Slammed In Texas

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

Kripalu Maharaj, (aka Kreepalu,) and his formerly Stateside protegé, Swami Prakashanand Saraswati, (aka PrakashakaBoomBoom,) just got to see the cat jump 50 miles out of the bag. Here are some of the highlights:
The bathroom was next to Prakashanand's bedroom, she remembered. "As I came out, I saw him," she said. "I told him I was excited for that afternoon's program. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bedroom." The woman said Prakashanand pushed her back against the door and groped her breasts and buttocks before quickly leaving...
Another victim shares:
Leaving the ashram one day in the early 1990s, she entered the guru's bedroom to say goodbye. He grabbed her and pulled her down, kissing her and fondling her breasts, she said, adding that she broke away. She lived on the ashram for more than 15 years and said no similar event happened again.
We guess she just wasn't his type.

And yet another victim had this story to tell:
She said she was called to Prakashanand's room many times as a young adult, where, she said, the guru would tell her to lock the door behind her, and then kiss and fondle her. She spent the night in his room, next to his bed, on several occasions, she said. In the middle of the night, she said, he would wake her up and fondle her.
What more can be said? A whole lot more. Read it here.

Our advice to PrakashakaBoomBoom? Kiss that $10 million goodbye and take sanctuary with the slippery salamander that is your own guru, because folks in Texas are going to have little patience for a handsy Swami whose lust turned him into the Devil's playground.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

A "Love Guru" Gets Off

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

During the whole Love Guru bombardment of last spring, a little known prosperity guru (read: potential flimflammer) was arrested on charges of sexually assaulting two women:
Bijan Anjomi, 64, was arrested Tuesday and made his first court appearance Wednesday on three counts of sexual assault based on complaints by two unidentified women, the Toronto Star reported Thursday.
Well, late last week, he finally got off with them:
A judge withdrew three sexual assault charges against former Mr. Universe Bijan Anjomi, 64, of Las Vegas, earlier this week. Anjomi was arrested in May after two women said he molested them.
And so Bijan saves himself with his space-daddy powers:
Police said yesterday that while the charges were withdrawn, there is a peace bond between Anjomi and the two women.
Hello! Sounds like some of that prosperity has been getting spread around a little bit. There's nothing better to cement the bond between a space-daddy and a twinkly-eyed young-thing more than showing her money chakra green.

We wonder which love object of Bijanji's posted this PR disaster in the making at Whirled Musings:
Bijan is beyond your belief system and he is human but he is also transparent. [Ed.note: !] He and his wife do not hide their life and sincerely wish peace to all, including you, me, all the blog readers and the women who made the false accusations.

Because we are all One....this includes you, me, Bijan ........and all the other people who have committed sexual offenses or false accusations.......this is part of all of us and we are healing from this all together.
To perhaps aid in Bijanji's healing, we extend the Sri Me Nondual Alibi Achievement Award, hereby created and given to those who use a meaningless interpretation of nondual truth in an attempt to skate themselves out of a tough spot. The award is created in honor of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's glorious tour de force at an Indian business conference in 2005:
When asked about his views of Narendra Modi, the chief minister of the Indian state of Gujarat, home to violent anti-Muslim riots which Modi implicitly supported, and who was recently denied a visa to enter the US for his involvement in those riots; Sri Sri replied, "I don't comment on individuals because individuals are just part of one wholeness."
We sincerely hope you all recall that he commented on the passing of Pope John Paul II a few short weeks later.

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

Handsy Swami Goes Down With A Smile

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

Smiley Swami Vishwananada, whose satsang we attended and reviewed a few years back, has apparently decided to shutter his org, at least in the U.K.:
Dear brothers and sisters, dear friends

I decided to dissolve the Bhakti Marga order.

I hereby release all Brahmacharis/inis and Jal-Brahmacharis/inis from their vows. People often get caught up in positions and titles. If someone really wants to live for God, one doesn’t need a title.

My love is always with you.

I feel sorry from the bottom of my heart if someone feels hurt. This was never my intention...
The cause of this dissolution? According to anonymous tipsters, it went down something like this:
Emails were being sent out about Swamiji having illicit sex with his Brahmachari’s (the boys), which prompted a conference call last night lead by the national coordinator, Shrihara, and the US Brahmacharis.

Well, the “rumors” are true. Swamiji has been having sex with his Brahmacharis for years. Questions that were asked were was it consensual? Yes, in some cases. Anyone under age? No, as far as anyone knows. Were any Brahmacharis tramatized? Yes. Hari, who became a Swami recently (Swami “VK”) renounced his vows and ties to Vishwananda and is now living back with his family in London. No one knows what happened with him. Was he having sex with Vishwanada? And if not, he surely must have known what was going on.
Wow! It kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term 'space-daddy'. We're almost sorry to have seen this happen. As much as Sri Smile was little more than an actor playing a role all-too-many people confuse with the real thing, we sort of liked him in action. And believe it or not, his having sex with his celibate followers—while time and space-warpingly hypocritical—still doesn't preclude the possibility of real spiritual transformation occurring. Indeed, the sex could have very well been the font for most of it.

However, when people believe you are God, you just can't diddle in the back room with impunity, especially with those who have declared themselves celibate. But Swami Smiley might easily turn these turnips into truffles if he can just recast himself as a transgressive tantric aghora swami. We're quite sure there's loads of legal-age space-daddy orphans out there who would love to make sweet music with this maestro.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Kriyananada Toots Tired Old Horn

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

One of the tenets of success in big-time gurudom is the tooting of one's own horn in the perpetual quest for recognition and market penetration. While Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has got an army of horn-tooters blowing his tune to the press world-wide, Swami Kriyananada, one-time protegé of Paramahansa Yogananda, may have just blown his for the last time:
Swami Kriyananda, one of the leading spiritual teachers in the world today, has been awarded "Honorary Membership" in the Club of Budapest. This rarified group includes societal leaders like Elie Wiesel, Nelson Mandela, Kofi Annan and the Dalai Lama.
A nice touch, referring to himself as being a member of a "rarified group" of recognized world leaders.
This year Swami Kriyananda celebrates the 60th anniversary as a direct disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda -- author of the classic "Autobiography of a Yogi". Kriyananda is also celebrating the 40th anniversary of Ananda, a model spiritual community he founded.
Oops! Someone left a few toots out of this statement, like, he got kicked out of Yogananada's Self-Realization Fellowship in the early 1960s by the battle-axe who's still running it, Mata Daya. And that "model spiritual community" he founded? It was once mired in sexual harassment lawsuits aimed at the randy swami himself. Maybe that's why the Club of Budapest is keeping his membership "honorary" rather than anything approaching an actual connection to the authorities he is trying to steal some shine from with this press release.

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