Guru Gets Game [Company]

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Shekhar Kapur, director of "Elizabeth" and "Four Feathers," is about to embark upon a business venture with spiritual guru Deepak Chopra. It seems they have formed an entertainment company for the purpose of fleecing the market in Asia by producing "spiritual games."

We've received an advance copy of their prototype list, which we'd like to share with you now:

Chela Control: Two people play as gurus of their own cults. In a race against time and each other, each "guru" must win over their flock with threats of eternal damnation, bad karma and sexual intimidation.

Holier Than Thou: In this game, two or more players compete for the title of "Most Holy" by quoting the Vedas out of context, faking their humility and miraculously surviving a cobra bite.

Spiritual Tickles: This is a single player game in which the object is to get away with as many acts of molestation on young boys as possible in the name of "enlightening" them.