Monday, November 05, 2007

Coming Down Off A Gurumayi High

File under: Blogs of Note

Another excellent rendering of life as a devotee of the gone-missing Gurumayi, Rituals of Disenchantment:
And then, like every conversation with every devotee I've had in twenty years, the topic turned to Gurumayi. With a few words and gestures of resignation we shared our belief that she is not coming back. Or at least, the yoga that we had practiced so lovingly for so long would not return in its old form. Then "C" said something that astounded me; she confessed that this was not a surprise to her because of a letter she received from Gurumayi years ago. What could Gurumayi have communicated to a devotee in writing that would presage her own disappearance? She explained; it was a letter in which Gurumayi declined her request for an extended stay at the ashram, saying that "C's" light was needed out in the world. Suddenly, the bridge to the past we were standing on crumbled down the middle and an abyss opened up between us. Or, so I felt.

Undoubtedly I was projecting, but it seemed to me that "C" had accomplished a set of mental gymnastics that used to be as natural to me as yogic breathing, but that I no longer knew how to perform. She had taken a glaringly inconvenient fact about SY (the Guru had disappeared) and reconciled it in her mind by appending it to another experience that confirmed, explained or even mystically predicted it (Gurumayi told her that our light is needed not at the ashram, but out in the world.)

I didn't judge my friend: I envied her.
Sounds like someone still carries a torch for the enchanting but gone-missing guru-ess of Siddha Yoga. We don't blame him. However, the insidious ideological mindwarp that allows a devotee to draw such a delusional conclusion is nothing to covet. Gurumayi probably declined this person's request because she didn't measure up in some way, or perhaps wasn't needed. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not something you tell a paying devotee, hence the nice little "light" simile to ensure another head to count at the next intensive. And the next, and next...

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17 Comments:

At 11/06/2007 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this the same "C" that runs the eXSY message board?

 
At 11/06/2007 11:38 AM, Blogger jody said...

Is this the same "C" that runs the eXSY message board?

Er... no. This "C" is still a bonafide, full-on devotee. Maybe you should really read the article next time.

 
At 11/06/2007 8:25 PM, Blogger SeekHer said...

"Sounds like someone still carries a torch for the enchanting but gone-missing guru-ess of Siddha Yoga."

Busted, Jody, busted. I remember one time when I was doing "hosting" seva at a Gurumayi Intensive and a female devotee was suddenly struck with a case of the heebie-fucking-jeebies. The hall monitors escorted her lovingly out of the hall and deposited her in the shoe room, where I was busy spritzing Jean Naté to neutralize, well, you know. This lady was both a Texan and a soprano with the Metropolitan Opera ---which is to say, she had a set of lungs and knew had to use them. Said opera singer began bellowing such sweet soubriquets to her Guru as "YOU DIVINE SHE-BITCH!" and "FUCKING WHORE GODDESS!" in a voice that was the epitome of kriya-induced lunacy. Mentally, I checked the hosting manual for advice on how to deal with recalcitrant kriya-victims. The only thing I could remember was to give them a banana or chocolate, which were said to calm the kundalini. Unfortunately, I had neither substance on hand. being equipped for my seva solely with stinky shoes.

So, I patted her back and listened to her bellowing and thought; "one day, I'll know what this is all about". Thank the Shakti, that day has come.

 
At 11/06/2007 8:36 PM, Blogger jody said...

Said opera singer began bellowing such sweet soubriquets to her Guru as "YOU DIVINE SHE-BITCH!" and "FUCKING WHORE GODDESS!"

Who can blame Gurumayi for bailing out on that? Although, she mostly has herself to blame for it.

 
At 11/07/2007 8:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"jody said...
Who can blame Gurumayi for bailing out on that? Although, she mostly has herself to blame for it.

11/06/2007 7:36 PM

Lot's of things in SY would cause anyone to bail. Problem here is the lack of admitting to what has happened. If SY played it straight people could move on a lot easier.

 
At 11/07/2007 9:23 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

seekher said...This lady was both a Texan and a soprano with the Metropolitan Opera ---which is to say, she had a set of lungs...


...........

Was this gal a bit on the hefty side? If so she may be a relative!
I went to a Muktananda birthday celebration one time in Houston. Folks were payin $25 for a coconut to offer to a photo of Muk. There was a big gal there who brought her basset hound on a leash and both of em offered a coconut. I figured the only way a woman that fat would be allowed to bring her basset with her was if she was rich... Now I find out she was an opera singer too!

 
At 11/07/2007 10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Spend enough time in the group (they are discussing another guru led group) and you eventually find yourself thought-criming to try to fit things like astrology or past-life regressions into whatever world-view you had before."

"The longer I spent in this group the more I realized that, even though it did provide a touchstone by which to order all my confusion about life, ultimately it is about becoming a clone. If you really give yourself to its processes, it's true, the 'guru' becomes the point of comparison for everything: every person you meet, every thought you have, every decision you make. Often explicitly and often very subtly, you are encouraged to see the guru behind the face of every person you come in contact with; that's why those devotees in their 'bliss' can look at the anonymous writer from Denmark and patronize him with 'oh you're just not ready yet': they are taught to think of everyone having the guru inside them and that they were 'special' or even 'chosen people' because they 'came to him.'

"Messianic enough for you? "

This was from an old but quite nice description of a different group, on Factnet's message board.

But IMO it describes the process mentioned on the Rituals of Disenchantment blog

The entire discussion from which this quote was extracted can be read here.

http://www.factnet.org/discus/messages/3/1971.html?1167876384

I really liked the term 'thought criming'.

My private term for having done this same thing to myself (in relation to abusive, non cultic relationships) is 'Eating shit and calling it sugar.'

Up to a point, we can con our grey meatballs to rationalize anything.

But our bodies cannot be fooled and eventually there is a reckoning.

Absorb enough abuse, and eventually the stress breaks you.

Eat enough shit while thinking its sugar, and eventually, you are gonna get sick.

 
At 11/07/2007 5:36 PM, Blogger SeekHer said...

"Was this gal a bit on the hefty side? If so she may be a relative!"

sorry, Chuck, no family reunion for you! Gal in question was thin and lovely. (Love that the basset hound also offered a coo-coo nut to Baba, though!)

 
At 11/07/2007 8:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I need a guru, I'll go for a hound, any day.

Steady eyes, noses to the scent, lovely voices that bay in deep bass tones...a hound dog is God, sent to us in huggable form.

I got to see a big quiet man the other day. He was sitting on his front steps, with an immense basset hound in front of him.

The big dog was gazing up into his daddy's eyes, and Dad had gently turned the dogs ears back and was rubbing antibiotic cream into his ears, to soothe them.

Felt the love between those two and I had to stop still and bask.

They were just fine with my lingering there, and it was like a bit of invisible sunlight.

As the bumper sticker says, 'God make me the person my dog thinks I am.'

 
At 11/09/2007 8:00 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

anonymous said......a hound dog is God, sent to us in huggable form.
.........

Anonymous, this seems to be just the way my mule Da Free Jack feels about yours truly! But sometimes I get nervous about the fella and wonder...is this a lasting treasure or just a moments pleasue? Can I believe the love light in his eyes? Will he still love me tomorrow??

 
At 11/10/2007 9:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck, I think Jack will always love you---protect him, scratch him where he itches and cant reach it himself, make sure he's fed and cared for.

I do a sort of purring whisper, almost a low soft coo - kind of a "pish" "pish" "pish" do it in low tones, when feeling love or concern and nearly every animal, so long as with fur and four feet, no matter what the species, seems to love it and feel safe.

Secret, is never do this if you want something for yourself. Only make this sound if you want the animal to feel happy and secure.

When the motives are selfless,that's when the love talk works.

 
At 11/11/2007 8:21 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Anonymous said... scratch him where he itches...

............

Now see here anonymush, just what kind of cowboy do you think I am! This might could be if the mule's name was Da Free Jinny but not otherwise! This kind of thang has caused yours truly a lot of trouble in the past. When I was first married we had a young filly who had never been bred and she kept comin around the trailor door for her "scratchin"! Finally got so bad she’d wait for old Chuck with her back legs spred wide and planted in red East Texas clay, shakin her hips and whinnyin like Gypsy Rose Lee! Daddy did not mind but this here did not go over well with Momma much less Chuck JR's momma!!

 
At 11/11/2007 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must be one of the stupidest people on Earth. I literally never have a clue what Chuck is talking about. Everyone else seems to think he's brilliant.

 
At 11/12/2007 8:28 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

anonymous said...I must be one of the stupidest people on Earth. I literally never have a clue what Chuck is talking about...

..................

Sir or Madam, I must admit generally to the same bafflement as your own good self... I am often gobstopped by my own "bubblin' crude"! I do often suspect that yours truly simply does not have the brain power of Jody, Stuart, Cosmic Connie, Gregrory and other noble sorts that congregate here! Semblance is the soul nutbutter whose brains seem as scrambled as my own but Semblance is mostly too busy with his women and his golden weeds to be here often among us! I am lackin in brain power! This is what I have been told from birth and since my mule also is tellin the same story, I must be accepted as a fool, pure and simple! So many thangs have happened to yours truly and all the places of my crewcut youth have been bulldozed, shredded, burned and buried under a thousand acres of flood! I, Sir or Madam, am a voice made of this here flood water from which depths, buffalo fish and alligator gar rise up greasy from that river bottom, hopin for a glimpse of the yellow moon, with fish hooks in their mouths, trailin broken lines of cat gut! It ain't always easy bein Chuck!

 
At 11/13/2007 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a heads up to say that the blog owner of Rituals has returned after experiencing a troll and flame fest at his site. He now has enabled comment moderation.

 
At 11/13/2007 10:20 AM, Blogger jody said...

the blog owner of Rituals has returned after experiencing a troll and flame fest at his site

Ah... the effects of Gurumayi's love: an army of narcissists descending.

 
At 11/14/2007 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, and one of the best and most informative of the correspondants was so badly intimidated that that person doesnt wish to correspond, despite having written some of the best posts in various ex SY venues.

Saddest of all, this person has been jeered at for even daring to report feeling unsafe.

Am feeling very jaded by the entire spiritual scene.

Abuse people and then when they feel spooked, and say out loud they feel spooked, jeer at them for feeling spooked, when that's exactly what the attacker wanted them to feel.

The more an organzation emphasizes love and bliss, the crueler its devotees when its pretensions are exposed.

Dont say you were not warned.

 

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