Yomamma's Smackdown

File under: Gurubusting and The Siddhi of PR

It is with deep gratitude to the Universe that we survey our motley crew of commenters at Guruphiliac. They're entertainingly cranky individuals one and all who are usually a lot more on the crazy side of the wisdom spectrum, which is just where we like it to be. We are extremely proud to be hosting them here.

One of the regulars goes by the handle "Yomamma," and she's been around the spiritual block more than a few times. Yesterday she put a beat down on Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Ammachi and big-time gurus in general. Enjoy:

2.4 mill[ion] people [at a Sri Sri event in India] seems ridiculously high. But still, [it] gives you an idea of the dough people like Sri Sri and Amma are pulling in. I have an acquaintance who sent home some pictures of mothers and children that Amma's money (that he raised) helped, and it was a couple of handfuls of rice on a banana leaf, and a very small group of women and kids. Nothing compared to what she is raking in. As the Rediff article says, business people are very interested in this retail guru model because the consumer does all the work in creating awareness of the "Brand."

My knowledge and experience of the world has shown me that when you make this kind of money, you can call yourself whatever you want. Great humanitarian, international peacemaker, divine feminine, God, whatever. And do whatever, influence politics, buy votes, diddle whatever, have the incarnation of the Buddha of compassion kissing your ass... Hello Dalai!! It's all pretty interesting. Hopefully the Dalai Lama can weasel more out of him than the less influential.

Yomamma has provided the perfect segue to allow us to share our latest revelation with y'all: people are attracted to gurus for the same exact reason they are attracted to movie stars and politicians. It's in our genes to want to get close to the alpha folk.

Think about it: who provides easier and more intimate access, a guru or a celebrity? You'd be very lucky to get close to a major media personality. They are cocooned by people who've spent a lot of time, money and effort to become that celebrity's silk cage. Thus, only a very few people get to be intimate with a movie star or major public figure.

But with a guru, the relationship is intimate right from the start. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar might laugh at the dupes who think he is God, but each and every one of them believes they have an up close and personal relationship with the flimflammer. The same holds true for Ammachi or any other big-time guru. When Ramdev visited the U.K. a few years back, they were charging admission based on how close you were seated to him. Intimacy is the currency of the big-time guru/dupe dyad.

Thus, as long as there are people with narcissistic personality disorders willing to place themselves on a pedestal as living examples of God, there will be dumb-ass morons trying to launch themselves into their orbits by sucking up like a Great Lakes lamprey.

We've got our spoon, the ocean of abject ignorance is right over there (with all the big-time gurus beckoning you to drink deeply of its stinky brown water), so we promise to keep scooping the poop for y'all.