Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Bored Guru Does Not Do Stoplights

File under: Gurubusting

His blog is the coolest thing to hit the planet since they began putting toilet paper on a roll:
The drive to the airport was meant to be lasting about 45 minutes. We had already crossed four signals and all of them were free. I enquired, "are there any more signals ahead?". He promptly replied, "Yes, there is one more and then turned around and announced to the children and wife, you will see even that signal will be free". Now every body got ready and there was excitement filling up inside the mean german running machine.

He spotted the green signal well ahead and almost screamed " See I told you", and then turned to me and said "at least now will you believe this?". But even as the signal fever was burning bright and hot, the signal was changing to amber and was blinking. He suddenly appeared worked up and started accelerating the car real fast before it could turn red. It was a blind effort to prove his point rather than saving my face. The audi went crazy as it neared the signal and then, the signal turned red. Audi came to grinding halt as he had to jam the brakes. Suddenly there was a deafening silence invaded the car from nowhere, as the engine got ceased due to the sudden braking.

It appeared like eternity as the car awaited the green signal and I had to break the silence inside the car. I asked "so now all of you plan to throw me out of this car?." I said further,"the guru is not meant to clear your path but only show it and also prepare you to face the dangers lurking on the way". I continued further "the guru is not here to replace your sorrows with happiness and the perils with some protection". I thought it was such perfect timing to drive some sense in to them. I continued further, "I cant facilitate your life without obstacles but can only tell you how to face the obstacles and move ahead." The car moved as the signal turned green. That was the last signal before reaching the airport.

I thought it was all over, quite content about how things took shape, but not really. As we reached the airport without any exchange of words, I got off the car and they picked up my bag from boot space, came to face me at the entrance of the airport. I smiled and said "I am already delayed and should hurry up, because I dont control the air traffic signals on the airport runway". He quietly replied, "guruji, you taught us a great lesson today". I asked "what was the lesson?" as I prepared to enter the airport. He said,"you taught us that you may not grant us, whatever may we may want, by turning the signal to red, even when we wanted it to be green".

He simply blew my mind, I felt as if someone shoved a big ball of dirty cotton, deep into my throat and amidst all the crowds that were milling, I walked in to the airport like a zombie, dumb founded, utterly speechless, carrying the heavy load of divinity, just then dumped all over me.
If even a self-aware and consistent defender of Vedantic truth continues to get hosed by his devotees' superstitious notions about his magic powers after such a clear demonstration of their status as ridiculous fantasy, what of the big-time flimflammers who use those expectations to line their pockets with gold? It truly is the Kali Yuga, folks, and Ma is having a field day tossing us around in Her sea of ignorance, even those who rise above it like lighthouses built on mountains of truth.

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20 Comments:

At 7/15/2008 4:57 PM, Anonymous Betty said...

The Bored Guru sounds very much like my own Guru. I have had a number of occasions to sit near him while people came up to ask for guidance or blessings. Most of the time when you boil down these requests they are for money, sex, and power. It doesn't matter if the devotee is Indian or western, the requests are the same. Many times I have seen people try to make a god of him. He politely tells them that he cannot give them enlightenment, they must do their own inner work, etc. He can pray for them but only God heals, etc. This is slapped away as the devotee fights to remain a child or an invalid in need of grace and healing. If something good happens, the Guru is given credit. If something bad, it is their own karma. This is not something my Guru is doing. They are doing it to themselves.

I admit that in times of stress and fear, I tend to do the same thing in the hope of getting God's mercy and grace. We humans are a funny bunch.

 
At 7/16/2008 10:52 AM, Blogger nahor said...

His blog is interesting, and a nice change from other gurus who allow followers to build them up into something divine.

But I also get a sense of arrogance or narcissism from his posts. Everyone who comes to him is delusional in a caricatured way and he comes across as proud in his self-assumed correctness to immediately figure them out.

I would like to see a post where he deals with someone with a serious, intelligent inquiry. If this guy is legit, and if a guru tends to attract a certain type of follower, one has to wonder why all his followers appear to be the stereotypical fawning, delusional, desperate-to-worship-someone types.

 
At 7/16/2008 12:16 PM, Blogger RM said...

I got the feeling that the "arrogance" "narcissism" (? I don't get how you feel it is) is all a pose. Or its put-on. S/he may actually have hit the nail on the head, in the sense that, gurus are able to peddle their crap primarily because there are suckers willing to buy it. This is not to absolve them of any culpability in what they do, but clearly when the "fake guru" meets his willing disciple, at least in the beginning the disciple is free to choose.

Well, thats what I felt anyway. As he (bored guru) himself says (well, I am taking him at his word here) his writing "sucks" - I am paraphrasing.

 
At 7/16/2008 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

offcourse the devotees have to take responsibillity but at the same time the so called gurus promote slogans like move from head to the heart.
This combined with so called knowledge that close down for rationallities, yogic excercises that makes one dizzy, strange sourroundings and a "spiritual" experience, and before you know it the devotee is on the wrong track.

The test must be is there any true will in the guru to set free the devotee or is he wanting to have devotees that never mature, become independent or become able of thinking themselves.

I can not believe how much time I wasted with garbage at so called lotus feet, before I by accident stumbled on some peace of truth

 
At 7/17/2008 9:01 AM, Blogger gregory said...

i have said here before, and you have rejected it, ya gotta blame the devotees

doesn't suit your m.o. though, i know

and nahor, rm ... please consider that maybe individual conditioning remains in the mind/body field of even a saint

 
At 7/17/2008 5:27 PM, Blogger bORED gURU said...

I would like to see a post where he deals with someone with a serious, intelligent inquiry.

Then its no more a Bored Guru Blog. I may have to start a new blog on them, because Iam for sure dealing with them, as often as a full moon in the month. But the BG blog is dedicated, if you understand its context well, about the flaws in seeking, which gives enough space for certain ridiculous notions to enter and thrive.

 
At 7/17/2008 5:35 PM, Blogger bORED gURU said...

i have said here before, and you have rejected it, ya gotta blame the devotees

It need not be a blame game than clean up the root cause of such ignorance in what is sought and what exactly is dished out, all in the name of spirituality, god, truth and enlightenment.

 
At 7/17/2008 11:44 PM, Blogger gregory said...

guruphiliac seems to be about slamming eastern gurus, pointing out venality, etc ... and having been around that scene, i think most of what guruphiliac is whacking on is generated by devotees, and the volume is greater than anyone could control, guru or not

seeking comes from suffering, and suffering people are sometimes so structured that they create it for themselves, ourselves, and while this can enable exploitation, it definitely makes for weirdness when you get a high concentration of such people

no one in their right mind would be a guru, it is an incredibly hard job, always surrounded by parasites ...

i see a guy like mooji, it is hard to tell who is feeding the most, the guru off the devotees, or the devotees off the guru

the pukka mahatmas, they have an infinite grace, and a tolerance beyond words ... business stratgey or not, they can be nice company, and often inspiring

never boring

 
At 7/18/2008 12:04 AM, Blogger jody said...

i think most of what guruphiliac is whacking on is generated by devotees

When the guru doesn't make an effort to stem the tide of devotee-generated whackness, he gets a whacking from me.

it definitely makes for weirdness when you get a high concentration of such people

This should be a guru's number one job: mitigating the weirdness rather than encouraging it.

no one in their right mind would be a guru

Perhaps they began with too much right mind.

the pukka mahatmas, they have an infinite grace, and a tolerance beyond words ... business stratgey or not, they can be nice company, and often inspiring

I'm happy to have never noticed them. They obviously aren't trying to make waves in the news. God bless them.

 
At 7/18/2008 7:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>>"ya gotta blame the devotees"....."i see a guy like mooji, it is hard to tell who is feeding the most, the guru off the devotees, or the devotees off the guru'"


Um, did you post these two opinions separately because they seem to contradict each other or what? Mooji is (supposedly) the TEACHER; the "devotees" are (supposedly) THE STUDENTS. Granted, what passes for the "guru-disciple" (LOL) relationship these days is more like a folly a deux but wouldn't you say that the so-called "authority" in the relationship has, at least, some greater responsibility for maintaining guidelines? If I go to university to study, say, bio-diversity, couldn't I expect my professor to know a bit more than I do? Would I be expected to watch him like a hawk? correct his tendency towards Creationism? or, conversely, "surrender" to his greater wisdom? wonder whether he was going to put his hands down my shirt during study hall? Wonder whether it was all some kind of hilarious joke to him and that, in reality,he knew nothing about bio-diversity but just wanted a tenure track job? Wonder whether he was actually an "expert" on bio-diversity or had just had a few bio-diversity "experiences" and then set himself up as an "expert"? Would I be expected, as an admittedly ignorant student, to know the difference? Then, after all , would I be the one at fault because I hadn't been able to judge that, in fact, this guy was a fraud?? Does the "buyer beware" warning apply in this setting?
I know that this example is a bit silly...but the reason many people go to gurus is that these same people don't know how to diconnect the programming or to re-connect to the source. It's easy to take pot-shots at them from a position of superiority and to lose sight of what may have motivated them in the beginning. Someone like Mooji (in my personal..and therefore pretty insignificant..."opinion")bears a greater responsibility.
A question (a little off-topic?)...WHY do so many people who claim to be "awakened" find it necessary to write so many very wordy books about "The Great Silence"? or even to teach? or even to blog? why is that? is it something about having your image of yourself mirrored back to you so "you" believe it? It feels that way alot of the time...especially when those same folks whine about what a difficult job the guru has..
just wondering.


seen too much
.

 
At 7/18/2008 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jody, I think Greg is talking about young Nithyananda here as a "pukka mahatma". What is a pukka mahatma?

 
At 7/18/2008 10:28 AM, Blogger jody said...

I think Greg is talking about young Nithyananda here

Yikes!

If that's the case I take it all back. That sucker is going for the gold like Sri Sri, using all kinds of superstitious notions about his power to seduce some more marketshare.

 
At 7/18/2008 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is a pukka mahatma? Is there an English word for pukka?

Jody, do you have any evidence that young Nithyananda is anything like Sri Sri?

 
At 7/18/2008 4:55 PM, Blogger jody said...

do you have any evidence that young Nithyananda is anything like Sri Sri?

Beside what I've already written about, I have accounts from former inner circle members which point to Sri Sri-like activities, i.e., miracle-mongering, ex-member trashing and expectations of absolute obedience to guru. In other words, no critical thinking allowed. I've agreed to keep my ex-inside info anonymous, so that won't be posted in the blog.

 
At 7/19/2008 7:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>"BG's flight expenses are usually met from the sale money of his CDs and books."<<<

Whew! that's a relief!! How refreshing it would be if BG just stood up and told it like it is without: slipping in and out of misspellings and pretended "broken" English( one sentence in perfect commercial marketplace grammar, the next sentence in "pantomime Indian guru-speak"), inserting little bits of information that cover his butt, etc. Why not just be OUT there, BG? It would make you a bit more credible..but, hey, it's just my "personal" opinion...not worth much in the long run.
I've met gurus from South India during the past few years.Their followers are mostly Indian with a few Westerners. Alot of the "problems" you talk about with your devotees, I've seen up close and personal. But, in all that time, I have never heard ONE of these guys talk the way you do....ever. If they had something to say, they would say it directly and in public...no hiding behind screen names. It makes me wonder about you. None of them talk about the "those who are advanced enough to understand my meaning" bit either. Again, it makes me wonder about your motives. And that's too bad because the things you are talking about are news to alot of folks. Transparency is the best "defense" in my experience. But I'm not a guru.


seen too much

 
At 7/19/2008 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Judy said regarding young Nithyananda:

" ....ex-member trashing and expectations of absolute obedience to guru. In other words, no critical thinking allowed...."

This sound more like a tyrant relating to a slave population than a guru relating to disciples.

Why is absolute obedience to guru needed for one's spiritual growth? How does critical thinking prevent enlightenment/awakening? I don't get it.

 
At 8/04/2008 12:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bORED gURU said...
I would like to see a post where he deals with someone with a serious, intelligent inquiry.

Then its no more a Bored Guru Blog. I may have to start a new blog on them, because Iam for sure dealing with them, as often as a full moon in the month. But the BG blog is dedicated, if you understand its context well, about the flaws in seeking, which gives enough space for certain ridiculous notions to enter and thrive


Hello Bored Guru,

How is it that you so easily identify the neediness in others if you don't have it in your own self.

My advice, if I may be so arrogant and assuming is have a really good look at yourself in these situations. Cheers from a grounded devotee of sorts.

:)

 
At 1/16/2011 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As much as people are stupid. They're not stupid enough to hang around a guru unless a certain portion get something in return.
Some gurus grant power and world delights to a set % of their followers.
Some gurus are truly enlightened and give the gifts on a spiritual level.
This is in fact a good way to tell a fake materialistic guru from a real spiritual guru.
If you condemn a materialistic guru as a fraud the people receiving the material benefits from him will attack you and seek to boost the image of the guru.
If you condemn a spiritual guru as a fraud the people receiving spiritual benefits from him will be more likely to say 'I love the guru' or 'I feel something special from the guru'. They will be less likely to attack you or boost the guru.
Something to think about.

 
At 1/23/2011 3:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont see what the problem with a guru having a relationship with a woman is. It is quite possible for a guru to have reached some form of enlightenment but to slip out of that state at various times and experience normal human sexual energy. A guru still gets hungry doesnt he?
Whats a guru supposed to do when he shares intense sexually intimate feelings with a woman who lets you know she is feeling the same thing? Masturbate in solitude instead? Granted he has a lot of thinking on how to be in a relationship without disturbing the harmony of the satsang. But hey so what.
Frankly the way Westerners want Gurus to be virgins, and something in opposition to all things human. That just speaks to the West's profound dysfunctions. Its parent issues, its issues with sexuality, the infantile way it sees people in power.

 
At 11/13/2013 4:14 AM, Anonymous Susanna said...

Devotees are trying to convinse themselves and feeds their ignorance, (ignoring also doubts that tells them there is something quite not right here), to avoid awakening, to avoid the real aloness, to avoid themselves.
It is very entertaining to be around guru or a wise person and be part of the business...it is....and love is often real and its nothing wrong with that. One feels that she/he have a purpose, is blessed and ABOVE ALL is above everyone else, choosen one. Who would not like that? But every one else feels like beggers or are seen like that. Paradoxy is that often those people who runs the organization and seems to be faforites are often not very nice, loving persons themselves. Evotees, With the guru, they feel they are guided (and sometimes they do get guidance) and that guru will always protect them and when they get hurt or in trouble or confused and see that guru could care less, they start to blame themselves and saying they were not enough surrendered to the guru. But somewhere inside they feel fooled, hurt and angry and dissapointed that they did not listened their inner voice and wisdom and trusted that from the very beginning. And that is really only thing what is real and one can trust. Its nothing wrong to go to a consious person and see that there is a nother way of being and possibility in life, but those who want to wake up themselves should awoid thing called organization at any cost.

 

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