Guruphiliac: December 2011

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Handsy Guru Pukes Gold

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Satscams

Sai Baba copycat fauxru Swami Vishwananda had to dissolve his spiritual organization in 2008 after it was discovered he was using his brahmacharis (novice renunciate monks) as a personal sex slave service. But pretty much like any other guru caught with his hands where they don't belong, he has managed to stay in business, and indeed, seems to be thriving. Because now, he miraculously vomits gold on YouTube.

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Monday, November 07, 2011

Sri Sri Called Out As RSS

File under: The Siddhi of PR

The RSS is the Indian equivalent of the Ku Klux Klan; its founder admired Adoph Hitler and emulated the methods of the Nazi party of WWII Germany. Now, guess which popular guru in India has been called out as a prominent supporter… [Ed.note: correct answer: pretty much all of them.]
Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh on Friday fired a fresh salvo at Art of Living guru Sri Sri Ravishankar, saying the spiritual guru is the "C grade worker of the Rashtriya Swayamsewak Sangh (RSS)".
While we realize this is just politics, let us point out that this is just politics, not spirituality in any form that we care to recognize. It's just another par on the course for the famous fauxru on his seemingly insatiable charge for more money, power, and influence in Bharat.


Sunday, October 02, 2011

Very Little Enlightening, A Lot More Mad

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Andrew Cohen's "truth," by a kind and talented reader. (click to enlarge)


Monday, September 12, 2011

The Continuing Decline of the United States

File under: Satscams

The evidence:

I sincerely hope this car's driver doesn't step in my lunch, which I was involuntarily compelled to deposit on the curb.


Thursday, September 08, 2011

This Is Not Holiness

File under: Satscams

This morning, a particularly astute reader ("you're doing a great job") sent a link to this Tehelka article, revealing that the great scammiji, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, is squatting on land he could probably buy with his laundry money (it takes a lot—a WHOLE lot—to keep those robes white):
THE ‘GURU of joy’ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has been found guilty of encroaching more than five acres of government land worth Rs 50 crore in Karnataka. The land meant to be distributed to the poor and landless has been illegally acquired by Sri Sri, who has constructed an Art of Living meditation centre on it, violating the law.
The law? What law can guide the behavior of such an exalted holiness like this? A living "god" can choose to take whatever he wants from whomever he wishes. After all, it's all his, right? You know Sri Sri thinks so.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

On Ammachi

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

Amma is a symbol of the Shakti, but she herself is nothing more than a woman who seemingly cares about others and found a way to do that. The idea that she has special powers is what draws the most people to her; their faith is based on the belief that being in her presence is being in God's presence, and that their problems might be solved as a result. It's on her website. You could call it a crass manipulation, but even if she honestly cares about these people, their folk ideas of enlightenment—endorsed and enjoyed by Amma—translate into occluding notions that kill understanding rather than promote it.

The fact that she hugs so much is no proof of her divinity. There are folks who can run a hundred miles in a day. Amma's talents as a hugger are comparable to those of any leading athlete. We may treat them as gods, but nobody in sports is actually thought of as God. Is a simple white dress, good endurance, and a smile for most all it takes for a talented human being to be seen as God? It actually takes much less … just look at Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. ;)


Friday, March 25, 2011

The Highest Loka An American Criminal Can Hope For

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Gurus Doin' Time

Swami Prakashanand Saraswati is still on the run, but we have a feeling the U.S. marshalls are closing in. Enjoy it while you can, Swamiji. You are now one of America's Most Wanted.

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Monday, March 07, 2011

PrakashakaBOOM Is On The Lam

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Swami Prakashanand Saraswati, recently convicted of 20 counts of child molestation, didn't show up at his sentencing hearing this morning:
A warrant has been issued for the 82-year-old Hindu guru convicted on all 20 counts of indecency with a child after he didn't show up for the punishment phase of the trial Monday morning.

Hays County sheriff's officials believe he is in the company of a woman named Vishwambhari Devi.
While PrakashakaBOOM is off playing Bonnie and Clyde, we wonder how Peter Spiegel is feeling. He's the sucker devotee who put up 10-million dollars in bail money for the slimy swami. The infomercial king made most of his money suckering folks with cheap products on TV. Whiplash karma, ye retribution is swift and deep.

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Sunday, March 06, 2011

Swami PrakashakaBOOM Will Fondle No More

File under: Gurus Doin' Time

Justice took the scenic route, but finally arrived for the victims of Swami Prakashanand Saraswati of Barsana Dham ashram in Austin, TX:
Prakashanand Saraswati, known to his devotees as Shree Swamiji, was convicted of all 20 counts of indecency with a child by sexual contact…

The jury of eight men and four women returned its guilty verdict after deliberating for less than two hours. The announcement by District Court Judge Charles Ramsay was met with muffled sobs by the women, who exchanged hugs. Beyond saying they were pleased with the verdict, they declined to comment…

Jurors will reconvene on Monday to decide on a sentence. Each of the 20 charges carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison.
Meanwhile, the creepy guru's even more creepy guru, Kripalu (Kreepalu) Maharaj, himself accused several times of the same sin, sits free somewhere in the world, thanking his lucky stars he's been able to get away with it so far.