Guruphiliac: The Kabbalah Empire Metastasizes Again

Friday, May 13, 2005

The Kabbalah Empire Metastasizes Again

File under: Satscams

The Emperor Rav and Darth Yehuda are on the march in Brookline, Massachusetts. In their way was the Brookline Community Center for the Arts, occupants of a building the Bergs bought from underneath them for a new Kabbalah Centre. Now evicted, they're not in the way anymore.

The art center's attempt to buy the building was foiled by the Rav's better offer, 2 million as opposed to the art center's 1.9. A local real estate mogul is making an offer to purchase the building through his charitable trust and lease it to both the art center and the Kabbalah Centre. But the Kabbalah imperials aren't responding to feelers.

A "peaceful protest and rallyā€¯ may occur on Sunday, May 15, but we're afraid it will be to little or no avail. We imagine there is much work to be done to bring the building up to imperial standards. A giant chamber made of steel and botoxium must be built to house the huge ball of red yarn that stores the evil eye energy collected by the nanotechnological red strings sold by the Centre. On top of that go the lawyers' pens and the "solitude" boxes, where new recruits are locked away to be softened up and made more "accepting" of the wisdom of their new leaders. Finally, there is the throne room, where the emperor and his chancellor can command and receive their tribute from both the ordinary and the celebrated of their followers, and also demonstrate the child-enchantment feature of their Zohar-powered auras for those who would dare defy them.

And the Brookline Community Center for the Arts receives the shaft, straight up their ass. Another casualty on the Bergs' march for pop spiritual ubiquity and their greedy accumulation of wealth, all on the backs of their subjects, just like a good evil empire should.

By way of [Cult News]


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