Guruphiliac: Lord Of The Universe Failure

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Lord Of The Universe Failure

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

This just in:
The Lord of the Universe (also known as Maharaji, Guru Maharaj Ji, The Anointed One, The Perfect One or quite simply as Prem Rawat) has finally lost control of prime virtual real estate. Specifically he has lost control of his beloved Wikipedia article about himself. You may remember that one of his right hand men, Mr. Jossi Fresco, managed to gain senior honcho status over at Wikiland and thus able to exert undue influence on his beloved Guru's Wiki entry. That was then and now is now. After being named and shamed back in April 2009, Mr. Fresco could not resist the temptation of interfering, this time by creating and deceptively using a different Wiki account, known in the trade as a sock puppet. But I think he has acted like a gambler just before closing time of the casino, losing all. Check out how Mr. Fresco has been rumbled.

The Lord of the Universe must be spitting nails over at his Malibu mansion. But then again perhaps he no longer cares, choosing instead to drown his frustrations in yet another bottle of his beloved cognac.
Poor Prem. We guess he's going to have to take his cognac aloft and burn another couple hundred tons of Jet A in his $60 million dollar private jet to soothe his battered image.

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At 6/17/2009 6:20 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

the universe has just shattered for the self styled lard of the punyverse.

the only thing real about no-prem is his ego, everything else about him is fake. his image, charity, kindness etc etc...

one of the most selfish, greedy, self - centred avaturd ever to have been born.

deceptive, evasive, slimy, arrogant and a lot else besides...

as i said, he would've given hitler a run for his money.

i suppose his minions will soon come to defend mr no-prem with their cult jargon...

shall i give it 5 mins?

At 6/17/2009 2:41 PM, Blogger stuartresnick said...

Guru Maharaj Ji was big news in the "spritual" subculture when I was growing up in the 70s. I seem to recall that he claimed to be the "15-year-old Perfect Master" for at least three years.

Back then, in the suburban East coast milieu I grew up in, there was very very little information or encouragement available for asking the big questions of life, or for self-inquiry and reflection, looking into the power of one's own mind.

The culture put far far more emphasis on external success. In this vacuum, many teachers/gurus could gain popularity just by offering a tiny bit of talk about looking inward... to people for whom looking inward was a radical new idea. Because of the scarcity of such teachings, these movements could survive for years, even though the tiny bit of useful teaching was burried amidst mountains of nonsense.

Nowadays, there's much more info and options about meditation etc freely available in the culture. Folks like Prem/MaharajJi no longer fill stadiums or grace the cover of mainstream magazines. Still, there are always at least a fringe of people who are so completely unfamiliar with self-reflection etc, that they'll grasp at any crumb... and still be able, for a short while anyway, to accept the nonsense that surrounds the crumb of truth.


At 6/18/2009 9:14 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

no-prem tw#t did and does talk alot about looking inward

i guess by looking constantly inward he doesnt have to look outward

at the unroyal mess he has made of his own and innocent peoples lives

from revelations that his own mahatmas were raping children to the revelation that he himself was raping women

to the millions of dollars of hoarded donation money spent only on himself whereas nothing is ever spent on his "precious" premies

his advice has always been to look inward

convienient for mr no-prem, because he doesnt want to look outward, but very unconvienient for the rest of us who do.

At 6/20/2009 2:24 PM, Anonymous quackers said...

uh oh...brace yourselves

favourite cult official charanand
is going out with his begging bowl again.

the same favourite cult official who along with rawat, closed ranks on the victims of childabuse in the cult..

like teacher, like student

"Charanand on fundraising tour in Ashland, Oregon..." on june 27/28 2009



oh that's right, rawat simply couldnt part with his multi million donation money hoarde.

god forbid, he'd spend something from there, cos oh my god, that would be the ethical thing to do!

cant have that, what has the world come to? this thought would give rawat nightmares for the rest of his life so shhhhh.......

another thing, this event will be aired soon on the (according to rawat) the "best ever tv show ever" show, words of peace.

his show is so good, that rawat is expecting the tv stations to grovel at his feet to air it 24 hours a day.

he's expecting that very soon....

so tv editors and directors better get ready to kiss his ample backside........

after all its the "best ever tv show ever" show because the handsome adonis prem rawat stars in it...

infact maybe hollywood is falling over itself to sign this handsome creature who looks a bit like a cross between a toad/fish/ape but hey what do i know!

At 6/24/2009 4:39 AM, Anonymous Xanadu Xero said...

I tried to get my kid to call me 'Queen of the Universe' but no go. What was his secret?

At 6/24/2009 10:35 AM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

What was his secret?

As far as I can tell, looking like a fat, cute Buddha-kid in the late 70s. Failed hippies just ate that shit up.

At 6/25/2009 7:06 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

jody radzik said...
What was his secret?

gift of the gab? double speak?
megalomania? flattery? saying what you wanna hear? having no plan, just going along to manipulate his followers and listeners?
changing on a whim (his whim)?

"master makes the rules, breaks the rules, changes the rules, everything is associated with the "master" - saying and carrying out these threats constantly

keeping human beings on tenterhooks to satisfy your own ego

rawat may be a pig-ugly uncute saggy midget but tell that to his rampant massive EGO!

At 6/27/2009 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the latest from his show few days ago:

'The Maharaji' doubted that the Buddha had "any skin around his private parts"?

Sure beats his other quote from another show, few months back.

To a follower in the audience, 'The Maharaji', said:

"Hee, Hee, Looks like you never had sex and looks like you never will, with that shirt on."

Dumbstruck.....just goes to prove that you can wear expensive Armani Suits like Prem but it wont give you any class!

At 7/16/2009 9:59 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

prem rawat: has decided to reinvent himself as the international man of peace!

how in the name of hells bells is prem rawat a man of peace?

dont you have to lead a life that
is pro-peace for that?

and not go about doing things that are actually anti-peace?

or is it because he is "god", these rules donot apply to this thing?

At 7/19/2009 8:45 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

from prem rawat's latest website:
"go within, be in touch with the divinity within, this is possible"

yes rawat, let us all know when you, your disciples or listeners get in touch with your own divinity.

funny how someone who has been essentially "blind" all his life, is OFFERING AND WANTING to lead all of humanity.

a case of the "blind" leading the "blind", i guess.

and we all know the outcome of that.

At 7/24/2009 12:12 PM, Anonymous quackers said...

look its not my fault that rawat is an idiot who everytime i turn around comes out with yet another loony idea:

i'm just reporting:

New England Loan Drive
In order to help cover up-front costs for a New England event with relatively short notice, we are also asking who in our communities will be able to provide funding in the form of a loan.

basically now theyre asking devotees to "loan" money to cover the cost of his "show"

dont know why rawat cant loan some of his million dollar hoarde to his devotees

rawat only accepts an "invitation" if his devotees can pay for the event

and now they even accept a "loan" from you

well thats nice.....

At 7/31/2009 8:38 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

cheltenham racecourse program england 26/07/09.

rawat came in his 60 million dollar jet, parked it 7km away from the venue, hopped in his personal helicopter to get to the event venue 7km away...

to talk about...SIMPLICITY AND BREATH...

the breath he respects by secretly puffing away on cigarettes

and the simplicity he lives by, on the donations off his followers to fund a lavish lifestyle...

enough to warrant a helicopter journey to travel 7km!

what a farce...!

At 3/10/2010 10:55 AM, Anonymous quackers said...

please guruphiliac print something new about prem ratattack, dont you know he's gone from "lard of the universes" to plain old "international man of peace".

he wants to be a world authority on it....

how is that gonna happen, after all the revelations above?

pls write something new on fatface, otherwise i'll just keep on quack quack quacking here....

and dont you think i've done enough of that already, going by all the essays i've written above?


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