Whacking "The Work"

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

We don't know who this person is, but we're all about this analysis of Byron "Big Bucks" Katie's "The Work":

There is a subtle nuance in the language of the facilitators of "the work" which reveals a deep, internal contradiction between what is practiced and what is preached.

Ostensibly, the work began as an "I" realization, one where Katie saw her own thoughts as projections and the outside world as a reflection of those projections.

From all accounts I have heard of people who experienced some sort of enlightenment, that experience came about from and inward collapsing of something that was blocking perception, and an emerging clarity. This seems to occur spontaneously after a period of disturbance. I have never heard of anyone having an enlightenment experience from performing some method (other than pure meditative concentration/contemplation), especially not from one that involves making noise inside the mind with more words and questions. Words and thoughts are forms of mind activity. The pain of mental activity is not resolved with more mental activity. It is resolved with listening and feeling, which lead into inner silence, stillness, and clarity.

In the application of attempting to teach "the work", a facilitator is immediately violating one of its own principles, namely, to "stay in one's own business." By now, how many other people's business has Byron Katie gotten into? It's difficult to take her preaching seriously when she herself is doing precisely what she recommends to her students not to do.

Furthermore, the moment I try to teach you that your thoughts are a projection of your mind, the idea that you need to learn this, and that I need to teach you, are projections of my mind. If I'm saying to you, "it's all about you", I have stepped outside of the circle of what is true about me, the circle in which I have a real say. It would seem disrespectful and presumptuous for me to delve into your inner dialogue and try to get you to see something about yourself, when my job is to listen and respond from my own truth. I see Byron Katie attempting to impose her own views over and over again in the conversations in her books. It is as though when you are expressing a judgement, it is a projection, but when she is expressing a judgment, she's seeing and telling it like it is. The idea that I know something you need to learn, and that I need to teach you, is a projection of my mind. There is no humility or respect in trying to teach you the "truth", since everyone is born from the truth, dies and returns to the truth, and is the truth. No special courses are required to learn honesty. Life experience and just saying what is on the heart is enough!

We realize that some folks are helped by the Work. Others only lose lots of money. Caveat emptor.

Nithy Couldn't Give Up The Gold For The Woman

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

In one of Mother Kali's more elegant karmic pas de deux, Swami Nithyananda turned down his Tamil actress girlfriend's proposal to marry so he could hold on to his loot:

After getting intimate with the swami, she is understood to have asked him to marry her and even got a positive response.

Ashram sources say she could have convinced him by giving the instance of Vidyabhushan of Kukke Subramanya Matt, who renounced his sanyas to marry a medical student.

Lenin Karuppan, a close aide to the swamy, who owned up his role in taping the sexual acts, was also close to Ranjitha and used to call her 'anni' (sister-in-law) occasionally. Although Nityananda assured Ranjitha that he would marry her, he was worried about the property worth several hundred crore rupees that he would have to give up along with his sanyas.

Eventually, the swami not only turned down her proposal but also made things worse by seeing other women. A possessive Ranjitha pleaded with him several times and could have turned vindictive when her pleas fell on deaf ears.

So, he just kept up the boinking surreptitiously, and then even expanded the harem. But then the scorned woman brought hell, and thus the rest is history.

"Holosync" Harris Holohammered On Twitter

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

As the regular reader of this blog knows, we generally go after spiritual teachers who claim to be God and use this claim as their primary marketing conceit. Woo-woo noise peddler and "The Secret" star Bill Harris doesn't appear to quite fit that bill, but like most others who make your spirituality their business, it has become quite clear that he's all about the money. At the moment, he's threatening legal action against Gp pal Duff McDuffee, a personal development industry critic and partner with Eric Schiller in a blog called Beyond Growth. A post McDuffee made on November 13 this year criticized the way Harris markets his "Holosync" sound meditation cds, also noting that up until the Death Lodge incident of October 8, 2009, James Arthur Ray was an enthusiastic endorser of Harris' products, (as well as being his ex-partner.) [Ed.note: As it turns out, James Arthur Ray had Holosync sessions scheduled during the days leading up to the Death Lodge tragedy.]

The result of all this is now a cease-and-desist letter demanding the removal and retraction of McDuffee's blog post, all at the approval of Harris and his lawyers. The heavy-handedness of the move belies a man desperate to protect a shaky business, and while it's definitely not pleasant to receive a letter like this, its claims appear to have more holes than a 20-year-old tin pail at the bottom of Lake Erie. [Ed.note: According to those in the know, Harris did about 20-million last year, so the shakiness isn't preventing him from getting his grind on.]

Since this gauntlet has been dropped there has been a Kelvin wave of support for McDuffee and against Harris on Twitter. The viral nature of this bad PR has the potential to do a lot more damage to the claimant than the defendant, but somehow, we don't think Harris has enough of a view around his own self-image to recognize bad PR if it took him out to an expensive dinner and then back to a hotel room for an all-limits-transgressed romp.

The Kracki Hive Thrives Despite Clouds

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Gurus Doin' Time, Satscams, and The Siddhi of PR

India's best newspaper dishes the dirt on the Bhagavan Kalki's money habits, which are largely about siphoning off donations to buy things like cars, houses, and dummy companies for your progeny in the States:

The report dated January 24, 2003 states that MM Giri alias Acharya Anandagiri, who was a student at the Jeevashram School where the ‘godman’ was earlier employed as the administrator, admitted in his fund flow statement (from 1998 to 2001) “that he had made gifts of Rs 2.53 crore” to Krishna and Preetha, Kalki’s son and daughter-in-law

Of course, the Kracki and his wife/co-conspirator are doing better than ever as a result of this latest brouhaha. There's definitely something to be said for the power of denial as a zeal-inducer in the empty-headed. Apparently, the authorities have been less than anxious to investigate the Krackster. Who is surprised about that?

Whatever, we're bored of the lame huckster and his faux goddess sidekick. Let those who believe, have them. Maybe a glimmer of civil responsibility does exist somewhere within India that can be brought to bear on their operation. It doesn't hurt to hope, as long as you don't expect. The turban is tipped to Tehelka for putting it out there.

Wealth Guru Kills 2, Sends 16 To Hospital

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Killer Gurus and The Siddhi of PR

Colorado gurubuster and self-help industry critic Duff McDuffee alerted us to this AP news article which details the death of two and the hospitalization of 16 after a sweat lodge run by New Age™ self-help and prosperity guru James Arthur Ray:

Two people died and an estimated 19 others were taken to hospitals after being overcome while sitting in a sauna-like sweat lodge during a Sedona spiritual retreat, authorities said Friday...

Sheriff's homicide investigators were working to determine what happened and whether any criminal actions might have been a factor in the incident, D'Evelyn said. Investigators were at the resort Friday interviewing the retreat director, staff and guests, including some who told detectives they paid up to $9,000 for the multi-day program.

That's an expensive way to go, especially when most bridges are free to jump from.

Duff has been tracking Ray for awhile, coming to the conclusion that:

The total abundance James Arthur Ray is really enjoying is an abundance of total bullshit.

And now he's in some really deep shit, which, according to Ray's own professed beliefs, he attracted to himself and is completely responsible for.

Dahngerous "Yoga"

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and Hands Where They Don't Belong

A reader turned us on to a fine piece of investigative journalism about Korean guru Ilchi Lee's Dahn Hak, aka Dahn Yoga in the States, an org that's chock full of the usual culty nastiness in which lives are wrecked while the cash gets clocked:

Shipley, now 25, is one of 27 former Dahn practitioners who filed suit in Arizona in May claiming the group subjected them to psychological manipulation and fraudulently induced them to spend thousands of dollars on Dahn yoga classes and retreats in Sedona, Ariz. and other places. The punishing techniques, they say, included forced isolation from friends and families, exercises like bowing 3,000 times all night long without breaks, disciplining members by sticking their heads in the toilet and making them lick other members' feet, and having them hold certain poses, like the push-up position, for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. On top of those charges, the suit alleges that Ilchi Lee, the 57-year-old Korean founder of Dahn and its spiritual leader, sexually preyed on young female disciples.

Dahn makes its money the traditional way, squeezing it out of hapless initiates with "money training," ridiculous quackery and straight-up pseudo-science:

Dahn centers sell a variety of products it deems healing-related. Nina Miller, a plaintiff in the Arizona suit, is seeking reimbursement for the $1,800 she spent on a gold painted "Okum turtle"--an item purportedly made from "living metallic materials" that "optimizes harmony within the body." For $450 Dahn sells a kit that includes a Brain Respiration Quotient, a transmitter that uses light and sound to supposedly stimulate the brain, and Power Brains, a brain-shaped handheld vibrator that is said to increase awareness during meditation.

Testimonials on the company's Web site claim brain wave vibration has lowered high blood pressure, corrected lazy eyes and healed the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. But the company cannot point to any independent peer-reviewed studies vouching for its effectiveness. Brian Cummings, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, says calling it pseudoscience would be generous. "Exercising, stretching and meditating may be beneficial to health. But there is no science behind the claim that vibrations in the body alter brain activity in a meaningful way," says Cummings.

And guess where all the money goes:

Dahn claims that founder Ilchi Lee is no longer directly involved in the company but instead runs a consulting firm, BR Consulting, which owns the intellectual property used by Dahn Yoga. (Lee is seeking to dismiss the suit against him on this basis as well.) But according to the plaintiffs, Ilchi Lee controls them all. They claim Dahn's profits are transferred to Lee and used to fund a lifestyle that includes a horse ranch in Arizona, high stakes gambling, a yacht and a private jet. forbes confirmed that BR Consulting owns the jet, the horse ranch and some residential properties.

In the end, you'll take it in the end for the guru and like it. This is the operating principle of almost every bit-time guru's satsang. Lee is no exception, and apparently, despite all the bad press he's generating in the States, there's still a full, rich market of the disaffected from which he can continue to steal.

Lord Of The Universe Failure

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

This just in:

The Lord of the Universe (also known as Maharaji, Guru Maharaj Ji, The Anointed One, The Perfect One or quite simply as Prem Rawat) has finally lost control of prime virtual real estate. Specifically he has lost control of his beloved Wikipedia article about himself. You may remember that one of his right hand men, Mr. Jossi Fresco, managed to gain senior honcho status over at Wikiland and thus able to exert undue influence on his beloved Guru's Wiki entry. That was then and now is now. After being named and shamed back in April 2009, Mr. Fresco could not resist the temptation of interfering, this time by creating and deceptively using a different Wiki account, known in the trade as a sock puppet. But I think he has acted like a gambler just before closing time of the casino, losing all. Check out how Mr. Fresco has been rumbled.

The Lord of the Universe must be spitting nails over at his Malibu mansion. But then again perhaps he no longer cares, choosing instead to drown his frustrations in yet another bottle of his beloved cognac.

Poor Prem. We guess he's going to have to take his cognac aloft and burn another couple hundred tons of Jet A in his $60 million dollar private jet to soothe his battered image.

Nithyananda Blesses Arunachala With A New Orifice

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Here's proof that Swami Nithyananda has raped the holy mountain of Arunachala in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu, India, beloved of the nondual saint, Ramana Maharshi, who is arguably the father of modern nondual thought. We know, that's a bullshit term and Ramana would strenuously disagree, but regardless, behold the destruction of a world treasure by a ridiculously grandiose and insanely self-promoting fauxvatar:


(Click for a larger image)
Take a look at the size of that parking lot! That's a lot of natural habit ravished beyond any ecological value to the locals, India, or the world, not to mention the many species of plants and animals, some possibly endangered, that depended on that jungle before it became a new asshole ripped into a holy mountain by the local-boy-who-made-it-big-in-the-States-as-a-saint, so-now-we're-going-to-let-him-do-whatever-the-f*%k-he-wants.

Locals are informing us that this is the closest building to the top of the mountain now, stepping Nithyananda up into a whole new, higher realm of the commercialization of Ramana Maharshi's spirituality. He's the native son who made "good", if you can consider the cultural and physical rape of a treasured spiritual landmark and the absolute pillaging of the local environment, not to mention the scarily fascist-looking marketing materials, as good:


He's the leader of the lingams here. We haven't quite decided what that really says about him, other than he's still the Peacock Guru in our eyes.

Byron Katie Poisoned By Success?

File under: Gurubusting and Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Seemingly from the inside, folks are beginning to lament the effect her success is having on Byron Katie:

Someone I know who was recently at the "Certification" workshop told me that one of the workshop participants did a "worksheet", that's one of tools of The Work, on Katie asking her to stop talking about all the money that the TurnAround Houses will be making. He also challenged her to stop being fake and having a different public and private persona and actually live what she is telling others to do.

It's hard to accept that Katie has lost her way because it appears that she once was genuine, sincere, and honest. Now it seems she has become fanatical about the agenda of bringing The Work to the world. And in her zealousness she is using her own process of The Work to justify doing whatever she wants to do. She is incredibly skilled at acting kind and caring and she shifts to a very different person once off the stage and out of The Work process.

If you watch Katie in an interview she constantly has to refer back to The Work. In her mind every situation can be handled by doing The Work. As I watch her I see a woman who needs The Work instantly to deal with any confusion or discomfort. It is her only answer to everything.

Katie has a charismatic personality and she has gathered a flock of followers to spread The Work. It's free, but there is a catch. You will be encouraged to go to an event or use a facilitator and it will far from free.

Yes, there is a free hotline which is staffed a few hours a day. But beware, the people who are answering the phone aren't particularly comfortable about what they are in, which is usually way over their heads, and all they will do with your despair is tell you to write down your thoughts and ask yourself some questions. And if you stray from that exact process, in their discomfort with your actual life, they will tell you to stop and stick to it.

If it feels abrupt and discounting and strangely artificial believe in yourself because the person on the other end of the phone is mostly likely scared as hell and doesn't have a clue how to help you other than to say "Do The Work" like parrot.

If you can find a person who hasn't been infected with the BKI Persona virus and has a shred of genuineness left in them, then have them do The Work with you. Meditative inquiry has value at certain times used in certain ways. At other times and used in the wrong way it can get you more lost and further away from the truth of you.

As difficult as it may be if you are in pain and looking for help, trust yourself. There are a lot of confused people in BKI and there is a lot of interest in getting you to give them some of your money. If you feel you are being manipulated stop. Many of the people in BKI want to be helpful and many "believe" they are being helpful. But they are actually very controlling and fearful and they are using this method to mask their anxiety.

There isn't much genuine freedom or joy in BKI, it is on the fast track to becoming a group of burned out believers following a charismatic leader who has become a fanatic and blind to the wrong turn (around) she has taken.

Katie, just stop. Stop the bullshit you are in. Stop acting as though you aren't in this for the money. Stop acting as though The Work is working. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you. See what is, Katie. Most of the people around you are faking it.

Katie, there is always the opportunity for you to stop this and return to the truth you were once living. Go back to the desert and walk with yourself in quiet. Stop this insanity you have gotten into.

Ask yourself if the world really needs you to end it's suffering or if you really are using the world to distract yourself. The Work is losing it's power because you are losing your way.

Byron Katie is a long way from the conniving type like Sri Sri or the Kracki, but being human comes with faults, and acting like you don't have them only makes them that much more apparent. There is no cure for suffering, Bryon. You can help folks through their lives a bit, but as soon as you begin to believe your own hype, you're doomed as a true guru.

Srisrientology

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Scientology has their Clearwater, Florida, headquarters, so the Art of Living – the Scientology of Vedic-based spirituality – is building a headquarters in Florida as well:

Affordable vacation, retirement or primary home in NW Florida: At the heart of this master planned community will be a Meditation and Yoga. This community will be a sanctuary to relax, rejuvenate and learn the art of living.

Seems they forgot to mention lining the pockets of their founding fauxru with more cash.

Sri Sri's "Family" Is On The March

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Organized by region with a military-like precision, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's Art of Living cult is spreading its tentacles all over the U.S. this spring:

It's clear that the Art of Living family in the United States is growing, yet there is much more we can do. To help each of us bring more people to our beautiful path, Gurudev has given his blessings for a special Art of Living Week, to be held June 12-17 in every state. Our goal is to have 150 courses occurring simultaneously, with at least 50 new people on every course! These courses can be four or six days in length, based on the time availability of the teacher and the need of the area.

To help facilitate this activity we have broken the country into five geographical regions. Each region will have a senior teacher as the regional coordinator, who will be there to help you move forward and provide guidance and inspiration for setting up these courses.

Conference calls with "regional coordinators" are running right now through Saturday. It's all about the new cult recruitment drive "national campaign to teach Art of Living Courses across the USA." And guess who they're selling as the reason you should hand over your God-given common sense, and of course, hard-earned cash: that preening primpster who pimps himself as God while pumping people full of prattle about peace, for a price. Our oh-so-not so-humble little Sri Sri:

We have experienced his love, grace and wisdom. Now, it's time to bring this invaluable gift to the rest of mankind. All through the year, you have worked hard, bringing people to the Part 1 program, some of you traveling around the year to teach courses. Now, lets bring your work to fruition.

Announcing: an East Coast Part 2 program with Guruji! Celebrate his vedic birthday with him!

This is our opportunity to show our gratitude for his time and what he has given us, and make a real difference in people's lives.

Spread the word! If you have any questions, feel free to call outreach coordinator [redacted] at [redacted] or email him at [redacted].

Chilling. The little man with a monster of a self-image to feed is pulling out all stops, and he's got a growing army of tragically-duped seekers pulling in more and more marks.

If you feel your heart bursting with devotion after reading all this, you can pay $660 to celebrate with Sri Sri in person in Washington, DC, this May. You'll also get to accelerate to Part 2 of the Art of Living prison for your mind Course. Don't forget to bring your kids, they take them all the way down to 3-years-old. You can never be too early laying in the foundation of a mindless devotion.

BREAKING: Is A Kalki Bhagavan Criminal Case About To Crack Open?

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

This just in:

The TRUTH is about to happen. Kalki and Amma and the son Krishna Nemam are about to go to jail.

INTERPOL and the US, India, UK and China are investigating multi country money laundering, fraud, crimes, scams and the evasive tactics of the 3.

Let's see if they can get some "oneness" in a cold jail cell for the next 20 years or so.

Unfortunately, there's no way to verify this anonymous comment, so have your salt handy. This could even be bait for us, which we've just willingly swallowed, hook, line and sinker. But damn if that's not a sign of God's love for the world if the Kracki is about to go down as the criminal he's been ever since he first claimed to be a guru.

Gurumayi Eruption Imminent?

File under: Blogs of Note and Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Our colleague SeekHer at the Rituals of Disenchantment blog has some very big news:

Hey Jody! SYDA has announced "A Sweet Surprise" is in store for those willing to shell out $100 to hear the New Year's Day Global Audio Broadcast! Awesome!

Speculation as to the nature of the surprise, even among hard-core devotees, runs along two lines:

One: Gurumayi has returned! Cue the gospel choir and orgiastic applause!

Two: Nothing new! But, the ashrams and centers hosting the event will distribute "all day suckers" as prasad.

I'm conducting a poll at "Rituals of Disenchantment" to see which outcome the sangham is expecting most:

Given that South Fallsburgh doesn't exactly do focus groups I'm thinking they will be tuning in for a temperature check. If a majority of devotees say they expect her Guru-ness, will she show? If a majority expect to be hosed, will they at least switch the prasad to something that won't kill a diabetic?

Stay tuned. One thing is for sure. Should the Divine Miss G actually show, even as just an "oh-so-mysterioso voice from the past" I will sign on for the webcast and report back her pearls of wisdom.

Many thanks to SeekHer for being our eyes and ears into the world of the mysterious vanishing guru, SYDA Yoga's Gurumayi, and the thousands of devotees she's left hanging.

Which was probably the best thing she could have done for them.

Prem Rawat To World: F You!

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

He flies himself around the globe speaking about peace and charging up the ass for it, occasionally handing out a 5-figure check to some needy org, but only so it can be heralded by multiple, self-aggrandizing press releases. Meanwhile, he goes and spends 60 f-ing million dollars on himself for a brand new Gulfstream GV-SP.

According to a tipster, it might very well come with a gold-plated toilet:

Speculation is rife if Prem got a gold plated toilet in his new toy. This follows on from a habit of his formed in the 70s when he got his slave devotees to refurbish a Boeing 707 and installed a gold plated toilet on Maharaji's instructions.

Aren't you glad that Prem Rawat cares so much for the world that he upgraded from one carbon-emitting monster to an even bigger monster, and one he paid more for than the GNP of some of the countries he purports to be helping?

We imagine that shit in a gold-plated toilet stinks twice as bad out of the ass of the monster hypocrite sitting on the thing.

Ramdev Sells It In The States

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Ex-rancorous (or perhaps soon to be rancorous again) Swami Ramdev has come to conduct his New York and New Jersey yoga camps, and he sure was sucking up to his new friends (and future herd of sheep to fleece):

He also praised the US for assimilating the best from different cultures of the world and Americans for their openness to new ideas, which has led to a better quality of life here. "I consider these yogic qualities. We should respect that and learn from it," he said.

And shear it for all it's got...

The fact is, there is more and more to get over here. Ramdev, Sri Sri and the rest are just coming on to what Amma has known for years, and that is that we're a bunch of suckers for this stuff.

Claim it's not religious, dumb it down for the masses and act like clouds of incense come out of your ass when you fart, and you'll have it made in the States as another big-time purveyor of sand at the beach.

Ramdev Not Rancorous In The U.K.

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

While Sri Sri sulks around getting pervy for media support to assuage his Nobel Peace Prize lust, Swami Ramdev is wowing them in London, England:

He is an international star with a series of sellout dates across Britain. He has millions of fans worldwide, many willing to pay more than £250 for the privilege of seeing him perform.

Rock'n'roll star? Platinum-selling rap artist? No, he is a yoga teacher - and he is about to host what is said to be the biggest yoga camp ever held in Britain.

Of course, his own people extend the fantasy for the Brits in the pursuit of pounds sterling:

A spokesman said: "Swami Ramdev is probably the most well known person in India, admired and followed by people from all walks of life, from politicians and Bollywood celebrities to housewives and rickshaw drivers."

Uh oh... we predict a huge eyeball lightning fight over those assertions. It's gonna be Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Swami Ramdev, Sai Baba, Kalki Bhagavan, Ammachi and Kripalu Maharaj on the field to duke it out for the title: Most Well-Known Person in India. The last one not burned to a crisp wins.

Honestly, if that actually happened, we'd all win, because there'd only be one insufferably self-aggrandizing occlusion pollution factory left.

Math Wiz To Cook SYDA Books?

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

A sharp-eyed reader passed this along today:

Rani Doyon ’08 [is] at the SYDA Foundation in South Fallsburg, N.Y. [as an intern], through the generosity of awards from the Monica Odening Student Internship and Research Fund in Mathematics.

What would a math wiz be doing as an intern at the SYDA center? According to a number of comment-leavers here, Gurumayi and her minions have a lot of stashed cash. Maybe Rani will be tapped to find creative ways of keeping the loot safe from marauding bill-collectors and the like.

Update:A former member of SYDA comes up with a few suggestions for the new accounting intern:

Gosh! There are SO many things that Rani could focus on: Gurumayi's Swiss bank accounts...how big have they gotten by now and will that be "enough" to satisfy the fashionista guru's very extravagant taste, the golden parachutes given to former CEO's, now living happily on the dakshina of poor dupes, where to put the money from the sale of Sadhana Kutir, how to find ways of asking for even more dakshina for projects, once promised but never even begun...hey, how about that bridge over the road from the yoga center? She can track the "Capital Improvement" fundraising scam..that resulted in A LOT of capital but no "improvements". The list is endless...the internship not quite long enough. As SYDA seems to slide into cyber-space, what's the use of all that land in upstate NY? And how to unload it as profitably as possible? with no taxes? and still scarf up the daksina....

Wackadoos On Wall Street

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

TM™ers have invaded Wall Street, occupying a building they bought in May 2004, mostly because it's one of the few buildings in New York City that faces east.

If that senile old coot in Holland could have his obsessive-compulsive dreams brought to life, every building in every town in every country would face east. And according to him, we'd all be enlightened and rich because of it.

And because the world is full of folks just dying to drink some guru's Kool-Aid, there are seemingly intelligent people by the bushel who believe in this ridiculous nonsense:

"The pursuit of money hasn't really brought real happiness, real fulfillment," he said. "We hope to be able to rebuild the whole world to be fortune-oriented buildings, to be heaven on earth."

Apparently, the pursuit of sanity isn't on their to-do list.

Bonus blind item: Which wacky auteur is paying $1,000,000 just to meditate in the same room with the brain cell-losing leader of TM™? It seems like a another in a long-line of TM™ ripoff schemes, as said leader will be sitting behind a screen the whole time.

Tehelka Gives 'Em Hell

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet, Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Being stuck in the States, we've a bit of a distant outlook on the guru scene in India. Our main viewing portal is Google News and the occasional bit of luck in the way of a reader-supplied tip. Yet much of the time, what we come across in the Indian press is unusable as it's just fawning about traditional ideas of gurudom.

So we were very pleased to discover Tehelka, a sort of alternative press paper in India known for hard-hitting investigations and that slightly anti-corporate tone you find in the alt weeklies here in the States. In their sights this week are some of those occlusion-spewing, self-aggrandizing and money-grubbing fauxvatars that you know we just love to complain about in this blog.

Having already examined the finances of a number of these so-called divine beings, today Tehelka goes after Big Mamma specifically. The article opens with an excellent treatise as to how a guru gets to the big-time in India (and the rest of the world):

RELIGION MAKES lots of money because of the universal belief that you earn merit by giving. The best of faith-founders have stressed compassion; so has humanism. For the modern individual, directly helping the needy is a messy business because you are forced to get involved. Presenting money or goods to a place of worship or to a godman/woman solves the issue neatly. Hinduism has a special place for the parityagi — he who renounces all. The way things turned out, it is the so-called parityagi who ends up making all the money! What fun!

Usual places of worship do not do so well in money-catching because they have no special charisma; or they must build up the god as a miracle-maker through competitive marketing. Big money flows only towards the talented individual who can create popular spiritual appeal and surround him/herself with a group of committed disciples.

Disciples are the key. By him/herself the godman/woman is like a nuclear reactor waiting to go critical. It is the disciples who trigger the money-machine and the supporting media blast. They have more at stake than the guru. Almost none of them is guru-material. They control immense wealth and power because of the guru’s talent. And when the guru is dead, a statue with an offerings-box can do pretty well too.

So true! And there is not one iota of difference between the living guru and the statue which symbolizes her/him. They are both symbols of the devotee's inner hope, the real source of any "miracles" that are perceived (or much more likely, misperceived,) to occur.

But author Paul Zacharia has a bigger fisherwomen to fry:

Mata Amritanandamayi Devi née Ms Radhamani fits Malayali decadence to a T. She is reckoned to be one of the country’s richest gurus. She is a handmaiden of the Sangh Parivar, especially the VHP, with its global fund-flows. The hug is her USP. Her media managers and fund-managers are the real miracle-workers, considering what they have made out of a simple woman with a knack for popular religious enactment and the energy to hug all and sundry...

Amritanandamayi has invested well too. She has an expensive TV channel which is a great conduit. All the millions invested into medical/engineering and other professional institutions go under the head of charity. But the same charity also demands capitation fees of about Rs 30 to 40 lakh for a seat in the professional institutions. Some millions were spent on building homes for the tsunami-hit. That was a God-sent credibility exercise because it looked almost like charity. It was the best mask Amritanandamayi’s millions have yet worn. It increased her money-gathering power a hundred times. As we know, what all godmen/ women don’t like is auditing and accountability. But then, can you audit God?

We take the dust of Paul's feet and tip the turban to Telhelka, our new bff and now high in the bookmarks for our daily Indian edification.

How Gurus Clock $$$ In India

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

The excellent cultnews.net just aimed us at this piece about the business of godmen in India. We found this passage particularly interesting:

...delegates pay Rs 5,000 each to attend the annual AOL festivities. This year, nearly 5,50,000 attended [for a grand total of 66 million dollars]. “You have to run it like a corporation to make it financially viable,” Sri Sri Ravi Shankar told TEHELKA in an interview.

Sri Sri is sync with the cha-CHING! But he's still an itty-bitty pipsqueak compared to Big Mamma:

“She is sitting pretty on an empire worth Rs 1,200 crore [294 million!] Amma runs high-power institutions through which big favours can be distributed to people who matter. The payment for a medical seat at her super-specialty hospital-cum-medical college is Rs 40 lakh [close to $100,000]. There would be concessions in the case of children of VIPs,” says U. Kalanathan, noted Malayali atheist. “Amma’s benefits are going to the devotees. So where is the question of this huge annual turnover?” argues Swami Dhyanamrita, a long-time Amma confidant.

And that is the utter beauty and perfection of this scam. If anyone questions where the money goes, you can always say, "right back to the devotees," whether it be tsunami relief or a palatial HQ accessed by your own helicopter.