Guruphiliac: How To Be A Bigtime Guru

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

How To Be A Bigtime Guru

File under: Gurubusting and The Siddhi of PR

Step 1: Make up a fanciful mythology about your youth:
Kaleshwar did not speak for the first seven years of his life and would often accept only a single drop of water as his daily sustenance. When asked years later the reason for this unusual behavior, he said, simply, that he was absorbing cosmic energy. Miracles occurred around him: once his grandfather observed the divine appearance of the Goddess Saraswati standing guard over him while he slept; another time, it was a king cobra, its mantel spread, that shaded him as he napped soundly on the ground in the backyard at his grandfather’s farm.
Don't be fooled, folks. This guy is a crook.

(Thanks, Semblanceji!)

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At 6/09/2010 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's with those cobras in India? don't they have anything better to do than stand about, hoods waving in the breeze over the heads of "special folks" ? Every guru hagiography has its cobra chapter: cobras guarding the baby saint, cobras feeding the little saint girl in the swamps, cobras serving as umbrellas for meditating saints. Kind of makes you wonder. Plus, every ashram tells you...."guru so and so has told all the snakes to leave the ashram/village/temple, neighborhood so dont worry about snakes"...uh, I saw a huge snake at muktananda's ashram early one morning...wide as a tractor tire! (baba told the snakes to leave.. apparently this snake was not listening). also saw several snakes in the fields on the outskirts of Allahabad where swami rama had supposedly "told the snakes to leave the premises". I should have realized when i saw a temple with what looked like black tennis racquets on the roof...nope, it was snakes! Oh, don't worry, the guru will protect you.....whoops! ouch! oh well, it's your karma...very auspicious to be bitten by a

older but wiser (somewhat)

At 6/10/2010 2:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

...sometimes, bullshit story is literal..

Sriram Sharma Acharya of Gayatri Parivar claimed that for twelve years he survived only on undigested barley and wheat seeds taken out of bull shit, washed with ganga jal and grounded for making rotis. He got enlightened after 12 years of shitty tapas.

Just imagine if seeds taken out of bull shit can provide with so much spiritual power, how much more can be achieved by taking and eating seeds out of human shit!

At 6/10/2010 7:06 AM, Blogger gregory said...

huge in india for foreigners .. bangalore is the nearest international airport .. germans, merikans, meet many in the hotel coming and going .. they love him .. johnnie from mars and venus gray and santa monica trustfunders were the early devotees ...

there is not ever going to be a shortage of these guys ... narayani amma, a guy, in vellore, etc etc etc ...

myths are real, and we NEED people to play the parts ...

enjoy the movie

At 6/10/2010 8:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you have any info on Mahendra Trivedi and his energy transmissions?

At 6/15/2010 6:12 PM, Anonymous Gopal said...

@Anonymous: why are you making up false comments on Sriram Sharma Acharya? Have some shame and desist from adding things. Sriram Sharma acharya lived for 24 years on butter-milk (milk from which butter has been extracted) and barley chappati as part of his penance.

At 6/18/2010 5:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks to your blog , there is no need to overemphasize the extent to which faux gurus concoct 'miracles' etc in their lives to make a career as godman/godwoman.

However , it is an undisputable fact , Sages like Sri.Chandrasekhara Bharathi of Sringeri , Kaanchi Shankaracharya , Seshadri Swamigal, Ramana Bhagavan , Sri Narayana Guru , Panduranga Bhakthas , Vallimalai Satchithananada Swamigal etc etc have effortlessly interacted with animals including Cobras/Serpents , Leopards , Monkeys , Squirrels , Cows & Dogs.

The poison that Meerabai was forcefed was rendered ineffective by Lord Krishna.

ThiruNaavukkarasar brought back Appoodhi Adigals's son alive who had died after being bitten by a snake.

Sundaramurthy Nayanar brought back a long dead boy (who had been devoured by a crocodile)alive to his parents' delight in Avinashi (Tamil Nadu).

ThiruJnanaSambandhar & what He did cannot be captured in a few sentences.

Ditto with Jesus Christ(Lazarus).

Lord Buddha while dwelling alone in a forest was looked after by an Elephant which ensured He had warm water for bathing.

These Sages are called " Karaka Purushas/Eashvara Kotees". What Jesus Christ says " I am Son of God " is verily the same Truth.

They Incarnate themselves out of sheer compassion ( Avyaja Karunai/Unconditional Love)to guide us the deluded floundering in the dark.

Let us not be presumptuous enough to bracket the charlatans with these Enlightened Seers.

At 6/18/2010 5:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A couple of months ago , a Cobra plucked some sacred Vilva leaves & worshipped a ShivaLingam in a temple in Tamil Nadu which was seen by a lot of devotees.

Thanks to technology , the breathtaking spectacle was captured on mobile phone & video cameras by those present. Widely published in many regional newspapers also.

Read the Sthala Puranam of Thiruvanaikkaval Temple of Trichy.

At 6/21/2010 8:06 AM, Anonymous John Christian said...

Jody you need to ask Mother Kali to cut your cords of Ego. Its there for the asking...

At 6/21/2010 8:02 PM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

Jody you need to ask Mother Kali to cut your cords of Ego. Its there for the asking...

I am a bit of trash floating on Ma's ocean. She can do whatever She wants with me. If She wants me to have an ego, it will be bore in this life with gratitude.

Also, nice one on the assumption there.

At 6/21/2010 11:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Jody, is doing superb work against Sri Sri.Just read this:

At 6/22/2010 6:33 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Jodi, that ther bit of advice has come from a guy who still thinks that Bagofwad Kalki is the embuddymint of the Lord! There aint never been a fake guru this feller JC didn't git a contact high offin on!

At 6/22/2010 8:56 AM, Anonymous John Christian said...

The only assumption i make about you and the others here is speaking whatever comes into your mind, unfiltered and believing every word because a following thought says "i know". But of course it is impossible to know. What is easy is to do is allow fear to rule you. In this primitive state one can rest with the assumption i am safe pointing out others lies, falsehoods etc. while bellowing your own.
Of course there are snake oil salesman (India and America being the King and Queen). And i love many Gurus, saints and Gods such as the one you worship, but i use inquiry to see what is here and now.
I do still do energy work syuch as Deeksha and love it. I might check this guy out to see if he has the ability to use energy. Period.

At 6/24/2010 7:40 PM, Blogger Vera Keil said...

Love your blog, Jodi--I'm amazed there are not more people questioning this crap.

I hope you'll check out my blog at google:

Tiptoe Thru the Minefield

It is my contribution to critical thinking re: gurus and spiritual marketing

At 6/24/2010 8:19 PM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

The only assumption i make about you and the others here is speaking whatever comes into your mind, unfiltered and believing every word because a following thought says "i know".

And that's the biggest one you'll make all day.

i use inquiry to see what is here and now.

Or, what your implicit mind is projecting for you.

I might check this guy out to see if he has the ability to use energy. Period.

Perhaps not in all cases, but very likely in most, I'd call it simple permission giving.

At 11/08/2013 3:48 PM, Blogger Deep Jyoti said...

It was a cow dung actually...may be you can try out your theory with human potty :-)...regarding his spiritual powers...He indeed got enough not only to write ~3000 books and bhasya vedas and other Hindu literatures but influence and transform million minds so they come together and world a better place...any emergency situations in the country and people fro GP are first to reach out...see all the work being done ...Now that's what I call power indeed!!!! :-)

At 11/08/2013 4:11 PM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

That's sounds like an all-around fanciful view. At a minimum, you got a pair of rosy-colored lenses for your reality goggles out of that scamster.


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