I Should Acharya a Lot for This
File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars
Spiritual Guru Acharya Ved Prakash has developed a theory that could potentially save humanity. The new theory, "Guided Fortune," is explained on his new CD. According to the Professor, his method will "rid one of...allergies, phobias, depressions, tension, insomnia, impotency, addictions, stuttering, stammering," along with helping one to "secure a good percentage in examinations, pass through interviews, loose-gain weight, get over insecurities, phobias, overcome personality disorders or psychological hurdles."
Wow, this guy could put psychiatry out of business and help the impoverished masses find economic well-being! With everyone so happy, there will be no reason for any more killing. Truly, the New Age™ would be upon us! And all this for a mere $30 dollars!
Why isn't he charging thousands or more for this thing? To be cured of almost all which ails has got to be worth at least that. We think we'll tip off a couple big pharmaceutical companies and the American Psychiatric Association about this. We believe we might make a pretty penny bringing their attention to this threat against their livelihood.