Minting Micro Gurus in Missouri

File under: Gurus Bringing The New Age™

The great state of Missouri, the starting block for the decimation of the Native American peoples, has now become a fountain of future gurudom. Barbara Condron, a member of the faculty at the College of Metaphysics in Windyville, MO, sees a bright future ahead of us. The reason: indigo kids. “Indigo souls are souls that are highly intelligent,” according to Condon. She claims that they're strong-willed, quick thinkers who know why they are here in the world.

In other words, what were formerly known as brats.

But before you go thinking your kid is an "indigo," you'd better brush up on your aura-reading siddhi. Nancy Ann Tappe discovered the phenomenon when she noticed a lot of kids with indigo auras. She's seeing more and more of them all the time.

It's a wonder of the modern world, a whole New Age™ movement based on the veracity of one woman's "psychic" intuition. We see opportunities that are as limitless as the lack of any reason here. We'll soon see bumper-stickers on mini-vans which proclaim: "My child is an indigo at a Waldorf School." Next we'll be awash in indigo-targeted marketing. There will be indigo rock stars and fashionistas, actors and actresses. What will this mean for the gossip industry? Will indigos misbehave in a manner appropriate for a famous person? And what about those kids who are not indigos? Will they be known as outdigos and segregated away from the herd?

We're already afraid of these indigos, but fortunately we've destroyed our ability to read auras after all that ecstasy-taking in the 90s, so we won't even know they are around, thank God.