Pirate Guru Hoists Jolly Roger Over New Satsang

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Kirtanananda Swami Bhaktipada, aka Keith Ham, has launched the Interfaith League of Devotees in Peekskill, New York after being released from prison last June. Convicted of scamming millions of dollars, much of which was garnered by copyright theft, Bhaktipada was also up on murder and conspiracy charges but got bailed out by that little blue boy in the sky.

With his signature eye patch and wild man ways, we see a great opportunity for the Swami as the first true pirate guru. He's got the rep (convicted bootlegger) as well as most of the look. Add a tricorn hat, squawking parrot and an appearance in an MPAA- or RIAA-sponsored anti-piracy commercial and he'll own that brand. He'll be the Kleenex of pirate gurus!

Don't ask us how, but we already know what his mantra will be: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!