EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC - TWILIGHT
Heroic guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar looks southeast toward the island of Sri Lanka. He knows there is potential danger ahead, but with brow furrowed in stern determination, he walks toward the waiting aircraft.
INT. LARGE AUDITORIUM IN JAFFRA, SRI LANKA
Sri Sri addresses a large crowd of thousands, one which he characterizes as all being victims of the Hindu/Buddhist ethnic conflict taking place there.
I have come here to take away all your worries
and problems. I want to see a smile that never
fades on your face.
INT. GOVERNMENT BUILDING IN COLOMBO, SRI LANKA - A FEW DAYS EARLIER
Sri Sri is received by members of the Sri Lankan parliament and the Indian high commission. An exchange takes place as Sri Sri scores PR hero points and the politicians score the belief that Sri Sri's followers will vote for them in the next election.
EXT. NEW CHILDREN'S HOME FOR TSUNAMI ORPHANS
Sri Sri meets several Buddhist monks and leading Sri Lankan politicians, grabbing photo ops with the young tsunami victims and scoring some more hero points in the process.
INT. TAMIL TIGER REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS IN JAFFRA
A Tamil Tiger fighter with an AR-15 strapped to his back is on the phone with officials of the Art of Living center in Jaffra.
I am telling you, you must cancel the meeting...
or else. It is an affront to our cause as
two of our political allies have been recently
INT. ART OF LIVING CENTER OFFICE IN JAFFRA - MOMENTS LATER
The 3 of the 4 AoL staff members in the office look at each other in fear. The fourth staff member leans back in his chair with a smile on his face.
Oh no! What can be done!
STAFF MEMBER #2
We must cancel the meeting, of course!
STAFF MEMBER #3
I will go inform Maharaj.
Staff Member #4 rolls his eyes.
Go wash the pee out of your pants, you
pussies. This will work out perfectly. We will
let the press know that we held the meeting under
the threat of an attack. It will bring much glory
to Maharaj and increase his chances for the
EXT. AoL OFFICE IN JAFFNA - NEXT DAY
A small group of reporters are gathered on the front lawn.
Peaceful and calm as ever, Sri Sri went
ahead with the event, where he led
thousands into deep meditation,
despite the danger to his person.
After the 20-minute meditation, many
shared that they have never experienced
such peace and joy in their life. Sri
Sri is now ready to meet Tamil Tiger chief
Velupillai Prabhakaran and bring this
horrible conflict to an end.
Staff Member #4 turns to walk back into the building. A smile is on his face as he figuratively pats himself on the back in the knowledge he's helped his boss look even more the hero once again.