Sunday, April 09, 2006

Sri Sri Saves The Day 2

File under: The Siddhi of PR

EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC - TWILIGHT

Heroic guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar looks southeast toward the island of Sri Lanka. He knows there is potential danger ahead, but with brow furrowed in stern determination, he walks toward the waiting aircraft.

INT. LARGE AUDITORIUM IN JAFFRA, SRI LANKA

Sri Sri addresses a large crowd of thousands, one which he characterizes as all being victims of the Hindu/Buddhist ethnic conflict taking place there.

SRI SRI
I have come here to take away all your worries
and problems. I want to see a smile that never
fades on your face.


INT. GOVERNMENT BUILDING IN COLOMBO, SRI LANKA - A FEW DAYS EARLIER

Sri Sri is received by members of the Sri Lankan parliament and the Indian high commission. An exchange takes place as Sri Sri scores PR hero points and the politicians score the belief that Sri Sri's followers will vote for them in the next election.

EXT. NEW CHILDREN'S HOME FOR TSUNAMI ORPHANS

Sri Sri meets several Buddhist monks and leading Sri Lankan politicians, grabbing photo ops with the young tsunami victims and scoring some more hero points in the process.

INT. TAMIL TIGER REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS IN JAFFRA

A Tamil Tiger fighter with an AR-15 strapped to his back is on the phone with officials of the Art of Living center in Jaffra.

FIGHTER
I am telling you, you must cancel the meeting...
or else. It is an affront to our cause as
two of our political allies have been recently
assassinated.


INT. ART OF LIVING CENTER OFFICE IN JAFFRA - MOMENTS LATER

The 3 of the 4 AoL staff members in the office look at each other in fear. The fourth staff member leans back in his chair with a smile on his face.

STAFF MEMBER #1
Oh no! What can be done!

STAFF MEMBER #2
We must cancel the meeting, of course!

STAFF MEMBER #3
I will go inform Maharaj.


Staff Member #4 rolls his eyes.

STAFF MEMBER #4
Go wash the pee out of your pants, you
pussies. This will work out perfectly. We will
let the press know that we held the meeting under
the threat of an attack. It will bring much glory
to Maharaj and increase his chances for the
Nobel Prize.


EXT. AoL OFFICE IN JAFFNA - NEXT DAY

A small group of reporters are gathered on the front lawn.

STAFF MEMBER #4
Peaceful and calm as ever, Sri Sri went
ahead with the event, where he led
thousands into deep meditation,
despite the danger to his person.
After the 20-minute meditation, many
shared that they have never experienced
such peace and joy in their life. Sri
Sri is now ready to meet Tamil Tiger chief
Velupillai Prabhakaran and bring this
horrible conflict to an end.


Staff Member #4 turns to walk back into the building. A smile is on his face as he figuratively pats himself on the back in the knowledge he's helped his boss look even more the hero once again.

13 Comments:

At 4/09/2006 11:10 PM, Blogger loneranger said...

typical SSRS-anything for the Nobel prize.

 
At 4/10/2006 6:32 AM, Blogger ontheotherhand said...

What a crock. How convenient that SSRS just happens to be Tamilian, and speaks the rebels language as his native tongue. He is actually on their side, but knows they cannot win because they are a tiny minority. He actually believes that they should get their own Tamil speaking country, separate from those unbelieving Buddhists, who have oppressed them, blah blah blah blah blah blah. He'll never admit this in public, of course. He makes it look as if he is doing something heroic meeting with them. The fact is, they love the guy. He is from that self-appointed elite group of Indians who speak Tamil, who think they are the "actual Aryans" and that everything good about India came from Tamil Nadu where Ravi was born. (yeah, there is actual such a belief among many Tamilians.) Wherever they go inside of India, they form groups insisting that signboards at bus stations and in other places be printed in Tamil. They are fanatics. In Bangalore, where many of them have emigrated, just like SSRS, they refuse to learn the local language of that state, but rather insist on their "right" to have people speak to them in Tamil. Ridiculous group of people. At least SSRS bothered to learn the local language, but then, he did arrive in Bangalore when he was a young boy.

Anyone who falls for this Sri Lanka routine knows nothing about his politics, Tamil politics or the region in general.

More BS from the Master of BS, Sri Sri 100000008 Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj.

Good one on the way the you saw the staff playing that one out. Probably quite accurate. There was probably never a threat to his life at all.

 
At 4/10/2006 7:43 AM, Blogger dontbullme said...

It was Bin Laden before and now its Prabhakaran. Both will prefer cyanide over SSRS.

 
At 4/10/2006 1:53 PM, Blogger dontbullme said...

OTOH,

I second u on the tamil fanaticism...Do u know that they built temples for tamil actors/actresses? Crazy group of people..

 
At 4/10/2006 7:19 PM, Blogger CHUCK said...

OTOH said, "Wherever they go inside of India, they form groups insisting that signboards at bus stations and in other places be printed in Tamil. They are fanatics. In Bangalore, where many of them have emigrated, just like SSRS, they refuse to learn the local language of that state, but rather insist on their "right" to have people speak to them in Tamil. Ridiculous group of people."

Incredibly racist statements!

 
At 4/11/2006 8:15 AM, Blogger ontheotherhand said...

Bin Laden and Prabhakaran are of basically the same mind, yeah, I agree. The Prabhakaran Tamil fanatics only have a slightly different doctrine. That's about all. Both groups go around insisting "be like us, or else". The weird part to me is that they refuse to simply stay in the place they are where people live by their types of customs and rules. Why do they seem to need to go all over the place, enforcing their languages, customs and beliefs on others? (or else) They complain (rightly) about colonialism, then they go around and basically try to create their own brand of colonialism by enforcing their personal beliefs on people who have lived in that place for ages. I still don't get why Tamilians in Sri Lanka need their own separate country. Bizarre.

SSRS will continue to try to pretend that he wants peace among all these people. He actually hates muslims privately, and thinks that Tamilian speakers are the Gods of the earth. Whether OBL or Prbkn would prefer cyanide over SSRS, I don't know.

 
At 4/12/2006 10:00 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

OTOH,
You seem ready to condemn an entire group of people because Sri Sri was born as one. Does your hatred know no bounds? You don't like Bush, so all Americans want to dominate the world? This is the definition of racism.

 
At 4/12/2006 12:58 PM, Blogger ontheotherhand said...

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At 4/12/2006 3:26 PM, Blogger RITA said...

Not to give Chuck too much credit but he happens to be right on, OTOH. You have bashed several groups of people, Americans in general and now the Sri Lankans. Chuck is correct to call it racism. You have now placed yourself in the same position as those who bash blacks, Jews, Germans, and as in Chuck's own case, "Limeys".

It's a character weakness and hypocritical.

 
At 4/14/2006 8:14 PM, Blogger ontheotherhand said...

Rita,

Good to see you back and biting! I'm not a racist. Sorry you've both misread everything I've written. I guess you'd have to live in India to understand what I'm talking about. Fanaticism, whether it's from fundie Christians in America (whom Chuck bashes) or fundie Tamils in India, or fundie muslims in a number of countries, are just that -- fanatics, and ridiculous, imo. Sorry if you think that opinion is racism. Those calling for "do it my way or the highway" are fundamentalists, and I have little patience for their foolishness. Check out that Dontbullme, who also is from India, happens to know exactly which Tamil phenomenon I'm speaking about. They (the fanatical Tamils) are completely intolerant of others, even when they have moved into their home place. It's absurd. I think the misreading comes from thinking that I mean all Tamil speakers. I don't -- I mean the ridiculous ones. Just as I'm sure Chuck doesn't mean to bash all Christians, but only the evangelicals. And just as people are all over the map about fundamentalist Islam, but they don't hate muslims. Got it now? Or still confused? Uh, also, my tirade was not about "Sri Lankans" as you also got wrong -- it was about the bizzaros called the LTTE, who are the Tamil Tigers, who strap explosives to their bodies and blow up innocent people in the name of having their own separate country in Sri Lanka, for reasons that elude most sane people. Sorry if you think calling them what they are is racism. They are ridiculous, misguided, idiots. All Tamil speakers are not like them, however, they are Tamil speakers, like it or not. Yours and Chucks logic is like saying "we can't say that 9/11 was carried out by muslims or it's racist". In fact, it was carried out by people claiming to represent all muslims, but are, in fact, sicko freaks. Same for the LTTE, and Tamil people who move into new areas where other languages are spoken, then demand that everyone there must learn their language or else. Sick. Sorry you think that's racism.

Anyhow, this forum is STILL not about On the Other Hand or Chuck or even Rita, but rather, the crooks who parade around the world in the name of Guru.

Whether or not I'm a racist is quite irrelevant. Ravi Shankar will still be a crook, and all I've said about him is still true, regardless of my personal shortcomings as seen by you and almight Chucky.

Call me a dog again if you like. No matter.

Good to see you Rita. Where have you been lady?

 
At 4/16/2006 8:45 AM, Blogger RITA said...

OTOH said, "Anyhow, this forum is STILL not about On the Other Hand or Chuck or even Rita, but rather, the crooks who parade around the world in the name of Guru."
............................

I think it is Jody who determines what this blog is really intended for but those who post here also have a say. Certainly there is a value in reporting about false teachers, but it is not enough to look outward and see the falseness in others. We have to recognize that the same exists in and as ourselves. We are all false gurus, making claims about ourselves for one kind of payoff or another.

To see this, accept it and let go of that identity is also what this blog is for. Jody is not so superficial as to just bash gurus. Like the rest of us he wants to stand out in the open and be free. Even Sri Sri must want that.

 
At 4/17/2006 6:44 AM, Blogger ontheotherhand said...

Rita,

I'm not a guru.

I'm a flawed individual, like everyone else. I'm not enlightened, nor have I claimed to be. I don't want to teach anyone here anything. I do want to warn people about the dangers involved in following Ravi Shankar, whenever I get a chance here.

Your "kissing up" to Jody, by saying "Jody decides what his forum is about" is more of your wanting to follow someone, like you wanted to follow SSRS, imo. Why not just say "I don't like what you said, OTOH, and I think the forum is for this."? You can have your own opinion without leaning on Jody or his intent. What is your intent, Rita? Why do you come here? (I don't really care, I'm just trying to talk like you were in the last post.)

I have no clue, nor do I pretend to have a clue, what Jody or SSRS want from their lives ultimately. I only know what I want, and what other's tell me they want.

SSRS told me he wanted to be more famous than Ammachi. He told me he wanted a huge Indian following. He told me I'd better not stand in the way by exposing him. That's all I know about what he wants. Wanting to be free and in the open? From what he's told me, Ravi Shankar wants no such thing. I cannot speculate about his wanting to be free and standing out in the open, or all that new-age sounding trash.

I still believe this forum exists not for my enlightenment, or for me to try to enlighten anyone. I believe it exists to discuss gurus and how particular "masters" have paraded themselves around as perfect when, in fact, they are far from it. If that's not what it's for, I should stop posting here. I'm not interested in discussing my faults, which are many, nor yours, which are possibly many, nor anyone else's who might post here. For that I'll maybe go see a shrink, whattya think dude?

Smiles to you Rita. Good to see you back.

 
At 4/17/2006 8:53 AM, Blogger RITA said...

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