Guruphiliac: Sri Sri Saves The Day 2



Sunday, April 09, 2006

Sri Sri Saves The Day 2

File under: The Siddhi of PR

EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC - TWILIGHT

Heroic guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar looks southeast toward the island of Sri Lanka. He knows there is potential danger ahead, but with brow furrowed in stern determination, he walks toward the waiting aircraft.

INT. LARGE AUDITORIUM IN JAFFRA, SRI LANKA

Sri Sri addresses a large crowd of thousands, one which he characterizes as all being victims of the Hindu/Buddhist ethnic conflict taking place there.

SRI SRI
I have come here to take away all your worries
and problems. I want to see a smile that never
fades on your face.


INT. GOVERNMENT BUILDING IN COLOMBO, SRI LANKA - A FEW DAYS EARLIER

Sri Sri is received by members of the Sri Lankan parliament and the Indian high commission. An exchange takes place as Sri Sri scores PR hero points and the politicians score the belief that Sri Sri's followers will vote for them in the next election.

EXT. NEW CHILDREN'S HOME FOR TSUNAMI ORPHANS

Sri Sri meets several Buddhist monks and leading Sri Lankan politicians, grabbing photo ops with the young tsunami victims and scoring some more hero points in the process.

INT. TAMIL TIGER REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS IN JAFFRA

A Tamil Tiger fighter with an AR-15 strapped to his back is on the phone with officials of the Art of Living center in Jaffra.

FIGHTER
I am telling you, you must cancel the meeting...
or else. It is an affront to our cause as
two of our political allies have been recently
assassinated.


INT. ART OF LIVING CENTER OFFICE IN JAFFRA - MOMENTS LATER

The 3 of the 4 AoL staff members in the office look at each other in fear. The fourth staff member leans back in his chair with a smile on his face.

STAFF MEMBER #1
Oh no! What can be done!

STAFF MEMBER #2
We must cancel the meeting, of course!

STAFF MEMBER #3
I will go inform Maharaj.


Staff Member #4 rolls his eyes.

STAFF MEMBER #4
Go wash the pee out of your pants, you
pussies. This will work out perfectly. We will
let the press know that we held the meeting under
the threat of an attack. It will bring much glory
to Maharaj and increase his chances for the
Nobel Prize.


EXT. AoL OFFICE IN JAFFNA - NEXT DAY

A small group of reporters are gathered on the front lawn.

STAFF MEMBER #4
Peaceful and calm as ever, Sri Sri went
ahead with the event, where he led
thousands into deep meditation,
despite the danger to his person.
After the 20-minute meditation, many
shared that they have never experienced
such peace and joy in their life. Sri
Sri is now ready to meet Tamil Tiger chief
Velupillai Prabhakaran and bring this
horrible conflict to an end.


Staff Member #4 turns to walk back into the building. A smile is on his face as he figuratively pats himself on the back in the knowledge he's helped his boss look even more the hero once again.

2 Comments:

At 4/10/2006 7:19 PM, Blogger CHUCK said...

OTOH said, "Wherever they go inside of India, they form groups insisting that signboards at bus stations and in other places be printed in Tamil. They are fanatics. In Bangalore, where many of them have emigrated, just like SSRS, they refuse to learn the local language of that state, but rather insist on their "right" to have people speak to them in Tamil. Ridiculous group of people."

Incredibly racist statements!

 
At 4/12/2006 10:00 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

OTOH,
You seem ready to condemn an entire group of people because Sri Sri was born as one. Does your hatred know no bounds? You don't like Bush, so all Americans want to dominate the world? This is the definition of racism.

 

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