Crazy Pat's Miraculous Feat

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

Examining a Christian fundamentalist preacher, in this case Pat Robertson, is a first for this blog. We normally wouldn't pay him no mind, mostly because he believes he works for the Lord rather than believes he is the Lord. But he's certainly a wacky dude who always seems to be apologizing for saying something stupid or making lame predictions after his little talks with God. He recently revealed that God told him hurricanes and possibly a tsunami would hit the coast of the U.S. this year. Needless to say, a five-year-old with a minimal understanding of meterology could have prognosticated that one.

What put Crazy Pat on our radar was his recent claim to have leg-pressed 2000 lbs. This was apparently made possible by drinking an "age-defying" protein shake made with soy protein isolate, whey protein isolate, flaxseed oil and apple cider vinegar. We're not seeing which of those ingredients would allow an old man to do what some claim is impossible. And as you might expect, it's all a bit dodgey anyway:

One of the photos Vasko released had a digital date stamp of 1994, although she said Robertson performed the leg press in 2003. Vasko said that perhaps the date was not set properly on the camera.

The fact that they didn't tell us about Robertson's Herculean feat when it happened makes it all seem even shadier.

Making claims of superhuman strength has pretty much been the exclusive song and dance of Sri Chinmoy. With Pat stepping up on stage with him, could a rivalry be in the works? If so, it's Chinmoy's turn to impress.

Pat's got a little bit of the Madharishi in him as well, but in reverse. He fully expects the end of the world any day now. You know, Gideon's trumpet blowing, four horsemen destroying. And then Jesus throws Satan into hell and Heaven comes to Earth and Pat gets to hang with the Lord. At that point it becomes as quaint as the Kracki's little 2012 pipe dream.

We don't think so, fellas. Maybe some shit is going to go down, but none of us knows exactly when or how. Poor old Pat seems to be losing his mind over the fact that Revelations ain't quite kicking in. With a mountain of failed predictions piling up in his backyard, perhaps these claims of awesome strength will keep that halo spinning over his head for just a little while longer.