Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Insuperable Wisdom Of Chuck

File under: Gurubusting

The treasure of this blog are the people who comment here. One of the most entertaining of this bunch is Chuck, an auto parts salesman from Dimebox, Texas, who is one part Andrew Harvey, one part Andy Griffith playing Sheriff Andy Taylor... and a whole lot of Hunter S. Thompson, a literary hero of ours.

Today Chuck chimes in on Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's plans for world celebrity domination peace:
SHE SHE'S PLAN FOR WORLD PEACE
  1. She She becomes a multi millionaire! Check!
  2. She She becomes world famous and has weak minded people thinking that he is God! Check!
  3. She She says, "I'll show him!" and tries to make his poor old daddy guru [TMâ„¢'s Maharishi Mahesh Yogi] take a back seat to his peace accomplishments! Check!
  4. She She gets to dress up like the bearded lady, only more feminine! Check!
  5. She She actually brings peace to anywhere... Still waitin'!
For those of you so inclined, Chuck has an enlightened mule in Dimebox that gives out shaktipat in the form of a swift kick in the ass... for free! It couldn't be any worse than giving the Kracki $5,000 to learn how to fool yourself and others into believing you are enlightened just because some dumb ass touched your forehead.

Labels:

15 Comments:

At 5/10/2007 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll take the wisdom of Sri Sri over Chuck Ups wisdom anyday. The never to call him She She. He is a very balanced, masculine-feminine being. Sri Sri is a beautiful being, and it is okay that he is a millionaire. He has done good work in the world and deserves to be compensated for his work and mission of peace.

 
At 5/10/2007 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She She as you like to call him, is a multi-millionaire. He has earned it, every last penny. He is working hard, relentlessly for peace and the worlds enlightenment. I saw a youtube interview with him from a CNN correspondent and it showed how hard Sri Sri works everyday and all of the throngs coming to him. It was quite impressive. I have to say I like this SRi SRi fellow quite a lot and even if he is rich, he is not spending the money on himself as far as I can tell. He is giving it back to the people via his centers, seva, etc. I would be very surprised to find out that he is corrupt or using the money in any bad way. Just like Amma, both seem to be doing a lot of good in the world with the money they receive.

 
At 5/10/2007 7:35 PM, Anonymous Betty said...

The Insuperable Wisdom Of Chuck?

Give me a break. This guy is not insuperable, he's insufferable...but I like him!

 
At 5/11/2007 12:22 AM, Anonymous Another Anon said...

She She as you like to call him, is a multi-millionaire. He has earned it, every last penny.
It is not supposed to be *his* money legally. remember, most of it is untaxed money meant for use by non-profit organization and not by She she himself? Yet there he is jet setting around the world on that money for "peace". It is not like he is Bill Gates and is spending his own hard-earned money on charity - now THAT is more praise worthy to me, anyday.

 
At 5/11/2007 2:39 AM, Blogger semblance s and orchestra said...

Betty said >>>>Give me a break. This guy is not insuperable, he's insufferable...but I like him!

~~~ Right said betty. Just a senile ol' cowboy who finally realized his horse is actually a mule ever since it kicked his insuperable ass. Entertaining he is, nevertheless a jealous and sometimes a frivolous slob. Jody has this special compassion as most here does only to cheer up a old sloven before his final kickass. But can you stop a mule thinking hisself a horse and try to bray endlessly? You gotta blame the texas heat and old age indeed !
Not to forget the daily mulekick schedule of his...

 
At 5/11/2007 4:20 AM, Blogger semblance s and orchestra said...

Yes. to think that a 'peace' crusader must remain broke is a silly and biblical idea. If he became a millionaire, even if it is only by claiming to promote peace, still it is far better than the 'union carbide corporation' which made million$ by killing thousands of innocent people in their sleep.

Sri sri's grandiose is sickening. That deserves the attack here. But to talk about his gender qualities and his bank balance is only a sign of frustration and chronic constipation.

 
At 5/11/2007 7:19 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

semblance said...his bank balance is only a sign of frustration and chronic constipation.
............

Now wait a minute podna, to call me just a senile ol' cowboy whose been kicked in the head once too many times is both true, accurate and much appreciated! Also true I am mightily jealous of young Indian bucks like yourself and She She with your women and your golden weed-- or in She She's case who knows?--and also true I am not sometimes but always a frivolous slob! As some kind lady said to me yesterday in reference to my language, "You can't expect to get new mowed hay out of horse puky". Also true I tend to bray endlessly, BUT I MUST object to this suggestion of chronic constipation! As the Jaimini Sutras says, "Not so! Not so!"

I guess you guys may be right that She She deserves his millions for learnin from Maha how to take somethin that you can find in any yoga class in the world and make it seem like it was revealed to him personally by the Almighty. If a fellow is a fool, he deserves to be fleeced, I suppose.

 
At 5/11/2007 3:29 PM, Blogger semblance s and orchestra said...

'Also true I am mightily jealous of young Indian bucks like yourself and She She with your women and your golden weed-- or in She She's case who knows?'

~~~~ There are a few things that me me(sri sri) needs appreciation actually.

1. We have not heard of him as a womaniser, despite the pretty tempting lot that ogle around for his attention.

2. He does not sit in a place like sly baba or krapki or pope and show up in the balcony once a day for blessings and grace.

3. In other words he braves the jestlag and cross a international border once in every average three days. (that means going through the immigration hassles as many times). However he may be hungry for self glorification, still its not worth all the globetrotting he does...

4. He may be running after citations and awards, but i have not heard him claiming himself to be god.

5. He does not seem to splurge on extra ordinary clothing, or whimsical lifestyles.

6. He is not after boyz like slybaba.

7. He has not done this funny thing called deeksha(dickya as chuck would say)

8. He does not seem to be ritualisitic where pots of milk and honey, all the time toppled on every idol in the world.

9. He repackaged the ancient wisdom but thats ok as long as people buy it. Everything in this world is just recycled byproduct only.

That all said, my grievance area with him is

1. His claim that he was born divine and knew 'Bagwad gita' when he was age 4 and all that crap. This totally denies people who did not do such things but simply peeing around, when they were 4 years old from any kind of spiritual accomplishment.

2. His encouragement of the occlusion people promote about him. When people showed him a picture which had few streaks of light around his head and said they are angels that surrounded him when the pix was shot,
instead of denying any such angelic stalking, he simply marveled that even technology could sense the angles these days.
This happened infront of 20 thousand people. I think this is his weakness.

3.he seem to be very fond of receiving the certificates and awards from mayors of every town he visits to fill up his 'wall of fame' (jody's phrase). He does not need them anymore and if he would decline them, probably he would be more selfless, than grab those citation shields gleefully and post them on the website... thats very very silly !

4. Just to show some usage of the unlimited funds, getting himself into a hundred different irrelevent projects like making soap and incense sticks. That digresses him and people follow him from spiritual seeking to just social workers. I many times consider him as a good social worker than a spiritual teacher.

5. His unnerving act of poking nose in to every region of the wartorn w0rld makes him a desperate peacemaker. If he simply said "let me try, I cannot guarantee peace", he would been a darling. But he promises peace as if he is so sure of himself and would deliver peace just as how slybaba would pullout those strange things from various parts of his divine being.
This makes him look somewhat amateurish.

Perhaps theres more to him negatively than what met my eyes.
Need to watch !!!


But chuck, im an incurable lover of the golden weeds and my ever tolerating women. I dont aspire anyting more in life. I dont stand anywhere near meme or even you for that matter !

 
At 5/11/2007 3:58 PM, Blogger jody said...

His encouragement of the occlusion people promote about him.

He should be bent over a barrel and flayed for this. It's all the evidence one needs to recognize his utter disqualification to be a guru.

 
At 5/11/2007 7:59 PM, Blogger CHUCK said...

semblance, my friend, you are a far better man than my humble greasy self. As you have given up all apirations for more than your lovely bevy of women and your golden pot weed from which you squeeze out the soma smoke, I now give up my worldly aspirations for a triple wide and the new horse trailor. You have inspired me sir! If only She He would learn from us how to conduct himself in this sin filled dimension of time and space! Perhaps the Good Lord will give him further tutledge! We can only hope and pray...

 
At 5/12/2007 2:58 AM, Blogger semblance s and orchestra said...

in this sin filled dimension of time and space! Perhaps the Good Lord will give him further tutledge! We can only hope and pray...


~~~ ha ha! thats real you, chuck. sober and enlightening !

 
At 5/12/2007 12:43 PM, Blogger CHUCK said...

cufmwemcsemblance said... sober and enlightening !
..............

From what I hear the price of good pot has gone way beyond the purchasig power of this humble cowplop, so I can't afford NOT to be sober... My first and only purchase of said product was conducted in the year of 19 and 70 and the cost of an ounce was $10. Since the Baptists prohibit beer and spirits and Chuck JR's mother prohibits all forms of dippin and chewin, all a man in my position can do is stay in my mule shed and take the council of Da Free Jack. It's so quiet here in Dime Box I can hear Kracki passing gas, the clink of Nirmala Devi's toenails hitting the ground as they are trimmed by her hard ridden husband and the gentle swish of She She's eyelashes all the way from India! Hope you're having a good weekend, sem and Jody, Durga, et all!

 
At 5/13/2007 7:46 AM, Anonymous durga said...

"Hope you're having a good weekend, sem and Jody, Durga, et all!"

Thanks Chuck! In the solitude of my duplex in Austin, I think I may have heard your mule pass gas. But maybe it was just my cat.
Thanks Sem & Chuck, for giving me the occasion to vicariously experience Sri Sri, she she or whatever he's called without having to leave my apt.
And sem, I looked up that book. Seems it's hard to get these days. I will have to recall it from someone at the library. Last book I read about gurus and India was Holy Smoke, by Jane Campion. There's a movie based on it that's kind of wacky.

 
At 5/14/2007 7:43 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

durga said...Thanks Chuck! In the solitude of my duplex in Austin, I think I may have heard your mule pass gas. But maybe it was just my cat.
.....................

Durga, sory to say but that was me you heard. As you likely know from writings here, the Enlightened do not pass gas! From what I've read, a fellow like She She Ravi Shankar is so purifried, he don't even poop! Though I can't say the say for Da Free Jack, for a mule, he's damn clean!

 
At 5/14/2007 10:09 AM, Blogger Durga said...

:"Durga, sory to say but that was me you heard. "

Oh!! Thanks for clearing that up, Chuck. That's good you have a direct line to enlightenment thru Da Free. In Fact, I was just watching a documentary last night about how animals can detect electro magnetic vibrations in the earth and therefore can predict disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis. So, I think you are in good hands, or hoofs, having Da Free Jack around.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home