Two More Old Scammijis In the News: Kreepalu and PrakashakaBOOM

File under: Backroom Gurudom and Gurubusting

[Ed.note: We fear this fine effort by our Barsana Dham correspondent about yet another two gurus in trouble with the law, Kripalu Maharaj and Prakashanand Saraswati, might get lost in the haze of exploded guru mist floating over India right now.]

By a former resident of Barsana Dham

Is it karma, or kaliyug, or simply the tipping point of a growing intolerance for the overabundance of fake Hindu gurus?

My bet — and hope — is that it is the tipping point: And that the intelligent people of the world will rise up and kick these fake holy men to the curb — that is if the cowards don’t run into hiding first, as is the case with the dastardly duo: Kripalu Maharaj and Prakashanand Saraswati.

Along with all the other intriguing scammiji scandals making the headlines these days, it’s interesting to find that these two partners in crime hit the news within hours of each other (Kreepalu in a BIG way). We’ll start with Prakasha-boom.

Prakasha-Boom Gets Criminal Trial in Texas Delayed — Again
It was never a question of IF Prakashanand would pull a last-minute health crisis to evade justice for 20 counts of indecency with children in Texas: It was always a question of WHICH “health crisis” he would choose. Now we know. “Back surgery.” As reported by the Austin American-Stateman, a “doctor” in India claims that Prakashanand “shouldn’t sit for more than a half-hour at a time.”

As such, his lawyers asked the Hays criminal court for a delay, which was granted Wed.

Awwwwww. Poor guy. Darn the luck. And all he’s ever wanted was his day in court.

But, seriously, I don’t understand the problem. It’s not like he ever SAT for very long anyway. He does most of his work lying down (if you get my drift). Also, the guy flies first-class. I never have, but I’ve seen photos. Don’t you like get a bed and five-star treatment in first-class? Sounds pretty comfortable to me. Also, I’m sure the Hays County Court would have no problem bringing a bed into the courtroom. I’m just saying, there are ways around this “health problem” if you just think outside the box a little.

Curiously, for 20 years Prakashanand received the vast majority of his medical care in the United States — from dental care to neck surgery. Call me skeptical, but it just seems a tad strange that now, at this time, he would receive such major medical care in India. I mean, his “doctor” didn’t even have the wherewithal to say it was “emergency” surgery. Hmmmmmmm.

The fact is, this guy is never coming back to U.S. soil. I know it. You know it. He knows it. So let’s just end the farce: Let the Hays county court collect its $10 million bond, let Prakashanand be labeled a fugitive from justice, and let the world know he’s a lying coward.

Kripalu Shows the World His True Colors — He’s an Orange-Bellied Coward, Too
Speaking of cowards, they must run in packs: Because Kripalu showed himself to be the jagadguru of pathetic cowards.

This is actually a very sad story. If you haven’t heard, approximately 65 people died and dozens more were injured in Kripalu’s main ashram in Mangarh India this past week. They were all women and children who had gone to receive free food and handouts. The ashram had announced the event to all villagers in the surrounding area. The turnout was huge, as expected. News reports conflict a bit, but the bottomline is that Kripalu and his people did not plan for proper crowd control. Something happened to scare the crowd (either the gate collapsed or an electrical wire fell), creating a stampede. Dozens of people were crushed and some killed.

While the world’s heart was breaking for the innocent victims, Kripalu and his organization, Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat (JKP), were blaming the victims.

JKP-Barana Dham in Austin Texas released a statement on Friday saying: “unruly crowd causes injuries and death.” One word: Pathetic!

Interestingly, Kripalu went into hiding two hours after the disaster, according to several news reports: “Kripalu Maharaj, whose ashram witnessed a stampede killing 63 people, fled from the complex two hours after the tragedy and is untraceable, a district official said today.”

In a telephone statement from an “undisclosed location” (who is he Vice President Cheney?), Kripalu tried to say that he never invited any of the people to his ashram. Which is, of course, ludicrous.

The ashram has claimed it is going to give some money to the victims: But it’s a pittance compared to how much they spend on cars, homes, food, and other luxuries for their own comfort and desires. It’s a disgrace that they have the nerve to call themselves a charitable organization.

The local police are hoping to lodge an FIR against Kripalu or his organization under Section 304 (A) of the IPC that covers charges of causing death due to negligence.

In a press conference yesterday Kripalu finally appeared, but said nothing: “Claiming he was ill, Maharaj appeared before mediapersons but did not answer questions fielded by them.” This is a man who normally will not shut up.

Meanwhile, his ashram spokesperson admitted Kripalu was guilty: “The spokesman of the hospital at the ashram, K.P. Singh, said God was responsible for the deaths.” Ummm, hello … Kripalu says that he himself is God!

All I can say is that the real God will bless the poor women and children — who are only the latest, and most visible, victims of this particular fake Hindu holy man. And now, at least, the world is seeing Kripalu’s true colors.

[Ed.note: Our sincere thanks to our correspondent for taking the time to put this hard-edged piece together. It's just the way we like it.]

Sri Sri And Ramdev Suck-Up Together

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Swami Ramdev snuggled up to right-wing Indian politician L.K. Advani yesterday in Bhopal, India, together:

Ravi Shankar was indeed scheduled to release the Hindi edition of Advani’s autobiography, My Country My Life, in Bhopal. But the big surprise was Ramdev stepping into the chartered plane that flew in journalists, BJP leaders and Advani’s friends and family from Delhi.

More so since [Ramdev] has always claimed to be apolitical and flaunted his dislike for communal politics.

Uh oh. It looks like Swami Rancor has succumbed to the same suck-up fever that's plagued Sri Sri ever since that fateful day he decided to out-do his own guru, TM™'s Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in divine self-aggrandizement.

Ramdev's got a ways to catch up to Sri Sri's heights of self-glorification, but we're sure he's got what it takes to propel himself straight to the top of Mount Narcissism.

Moon Made Full By Your Elected Officials

File under: Backroom Gurudom, The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus


A short film by a couple of journalists chronicling the Reverend Sun Myung Moon's rise to power in the U.S. by way of his control of a Washington D.C. newspaper and large contributions to the radical Christian right. It proves the maxim: if you give them money, they will grovel at your feet, despite how fucking far out of your gourd you are.

Amma Lifted On Hindu Right Wing

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

The Hindu right wing political party in Ammachi's home state of Kerala, India, has nominated her for a regional social award:

"Amritanandamayi has been taking up various social service initiatives and her Mutt was involved in the rehabilitation of tsunami-hit people," Puthezhath Ramachandran, President of the organisation, said.

The Mutt's services for the welfare of elderly people and in the education sector have been acknowledged by all, he said.

Though Amritanandamayi has been honoured by several countries, India has not yet bestowed any award on her, he said adding she should be considered for the top honour of the country, Bharat Ratna.

Think of it like a Republican U.S. state governor nominating a top ten TV evangelical preacher for an accolade from the Southern Baptist Convention, if the SBC had more obvious ties to the KKK than it shows to the world.

What To Do After A Dead Guru

File under: Backroom Gurudom and Final Satsang

There's a nice article in the Village Voice about the sizable community of devotees that Sri Chinmoy left behind. We were especially entertained by the author's initial experience covering the guru most famous for showing off:

Two decades ago, when I was writing for USA Today, I was dispatched to the Aspiration Ground to watch Chinmoy lift a house. Instead, I saw what looked like a garden shed connected to a calf-raising machine. To add to the domestic aura, there was a flickering television inside, among other items. With his followers gleefully chanting, the guru scrunched his shoulders under the mechanism's padded arms and stood on his toes, tipping the structure slightly.

With the all-powerful guru gone, an ad-hoc committee of senior disciples is going to take over:

"There will not be a successor to Sri Chinmoy," said the spokesperson, "because no one has the same spiritual height, the same realization."

Ultimately making Sri Chinmoy an utter failure as a guru.

Guru Of Darkness

File under: Backroom Gurudom and Gurubusting

Hitler was his hero and his cult is thriving in Bharat. Meet the guru of India's version of the Ku Klux Klan:

[The RSS] became a mass organisation under the leadership of M.S Golwalker. M.S Golwalker is seen as the spiritual master of this organisation and is referred to as Guru, he is worshipped and presumed as a god. Golwalker was a sympathiser of Hitler and said that Hindus can learn a lesson from Hitler and his pure race ideology. In support of this Golwalker said violence should be used a surgeon’s knife to kill society. Even he goes on to say that the one who do not accept Hindutva as the main religion and culture of India is merely a disease which need treatment. To kill them is merely like using medicine to cure a disease. Now we are talking about a person who thinks that humans with different beliefs should be wiped out, he takes this logic directly from Hitler.

No wonder Narendra Modi was able to get away with genocide in the Indian state of Gujurat while its Prime Minister.

Pay attention, devotees: Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Ammachi, Swami Ramdev and many other Hindu religious leaders all get support from the RSS, albeit not always openly. It's like Pat Robertson getting caught at a cross-burning in the States. These are the people some of you believe to be God. Often, it turns out, many who follow them may find you to be little more than vermin to be exterminated.

D.L. Parties With Bush, Flips China The Bird

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

The Dalai Lama has been in Washington D.C. this week, picking up a Congressional Gold Medal while partying with that very bad dream known as the President of the United States, as well as pissing off the People's Republic of China in a grand manner. Now we know why they attempted that lame little potshot a week ago.

Of course, many are spying the D.L through glasses rosy like Bette Midler playing Janis Joplin:

And there it was: bottled enlightenment, released. The laugh is pure warmth and joy, filled with the happiness of a child and the wisdom of a guru. He laughs like that because he knows a lot of things we don't.

He's laughing because he's enjoying everyone eating out of his hand, girlfriend! All he has to do is smile and spout simple similes and platitudes, and everyone automatically assumes it's based in the highest wisdom on the planet.

You can't fault the D.L. for having a great gig. And he is working it, child! But unfortunately, the PRC is just not going to give Tibet back. That train done already left the station, honey!

Slick SF Mayor Scratches An Ilchee

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Gavin Newsom is so smooth that he's running unopposed for a second term as the mayor of San Francisco, California. So we're not sure why he's sucking up to the Dahn Yoga community there by declaring a special day for their founder and guru, Ilchee Lee. After all, Newsom doesn't need the votes this time. Could he be an adherent of the practice some have determined to be little more than standard issue cult manipulation? Whatever the reason, it sure got Rick Ross' attention:

But according to Mayor Newsom’s proclamation, the man some say is promoting a “dangerous con” should be lauded and acclaimed as “a leading philosopher and brain educator.”

However, others that have looked into Dahn with a bit more due diligence have described Lee’s so-called “brain education,” as more like “brainwashing” and “mind control.”

Could Newsom's baby butt grace be about to get a little road rash? He's endorsed a man who is reviled as an evil manipulator of people's minds and bank accounts. Dahn yoga training is said to be the cause of at least one death, along with a number of good mind f'ings. They've even been exposed as a racist organization in Canada.

Looks like someone in the Mayor's office didn't do their homework on this one.

Our Shame In The Senate

File under: Backroom Gurudom

We regularly get accused to being anti-Indian, anti-Hindu, a hate site and various others distortions and amplifications of folks' projections and need to demonize any critics of their holy heroes. We also get accused of ignoring Christianity here in the States, as if we were on some kind of secret mission for Christian missionaries in India.

None of these things is true, of course. What follows is one of the most depressing things we've read about politics in the States in a time when there are mountains of depressing things to know about:

Senate aides have said that apparently the protestors who disrupted the beginning of Hindu chaplain Rajan Zed's history-making opening prayer in the US Senate July 12, belonged to the American Family Association. The association had been waging a vicious campaign to torpedo the invitation to Zed, ever since it was announced that a Hindu chaplain would deliver the opening prayer.

Three protestors identified as Ante Nediko Pavkovic, Katherine Lynn Pavkovic and Christan Renee Sugar by Capitol Hill police, who however, did not provide their hometown, ages and affiliations, were arrested, handcuffed and taken away when they shouted complaints from the gallery, including, "Lord Jesus, protect us from this abomination," as soon as Zed was introduced and began his prayer.

The Associated Press reported that the only male protestor among the three had told its correspondent before being handcuffed and hauled away by police, "We are Christians and patriots."

From the time reports began appearing in the mainstream media that a Hindu chaplain had been invited to open the US Senate session July 12 as a guest chaplain, the Tupelo, Mississippi-based American Family Association has been sending action alerts exhorting its members and other Christian fundamentalists to "send an e-mail to your Senator now, expressing your disappointment in the Senate decision to invite a Hindu to open the session with prayer."

So you see, we have our own RSS-like goons and the same kind of utterly ignorant, grandstanding and self-aggrandizing monsters of hubris known as fundamentalist-aligned elected officials.

Slick Willie Outshines Sri Sri

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri shared the stage with Bill Clinton at the Telugu Association of North America conference in Washington, DC, but he couldn't hold a candle to the randy former president of the U.S (and the favorite around here.) Bill was there to stump for his wife's run at U.S. prez, Sri Sri to increase his Q score over here.

Amma: Mistress Of The Hindu Right

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Backroom Gurudom

Based on what's come out of discussions in the comments of the last few posts, it's becoming clear that Ammachi is the favorite daughter of the radical Hindu fundamentalist right in India even while she feigns the peaceful Goddess of Hugs in the U.S.

From last week's Tehelka piece:

Mata Amritanandamayi Devi née Ms Radhamani fits Malayali decadence to a T. She is reckoned to be one of the country’s richest gurus. She is a handmaiden of the Sangh Parivar, especially the VHP, with its global fund-flows.

We dug a little deeper [Ed.note: We know it's very uncharacteristic of us.] and discovered just who the VHP are:

On December 6, 1992 the Babri Mosque was demolished by a large group of Hindus, who had been camped out at the site for weeks. Members of the VHP were allegedly part of this large group, as reported by the Human Rights Watch...

The demolition of the mosque in 1992 led to violence. Muslim mobs took to rioting in various parts of the country leading to communal violence and resultant police action. Over 900 people were killed across the country in riots and police action. The Liberhan Commission headed by Justice Liberhan was constituted to investigate the whole episode. A large number of VHP workers testified before the commission.

The incident at the disputed structure came as a shock to many Indians, who had known the VHP as a peaceful organization...

Continually criticizing its political ally the BJP for acting too slowly on the Ram temple issue, conversions and a uniform civil code, the VHP demands legislation from Parliament authorizing the temple construction, and the proclamation of a Hindu Rashtra, literally the "Hindu Nation," in Bharat and explains it as a statement of cultural nationalism

Imagine the most radical Christian fundamentalist politicians in the States and you've got an idea about the goals of the BJP. Imagine a group more radical even than that and you know something about the VHP.

And now you know who their queen is...

Amma, in all sense of the word, is as sweet as Amritham (honey).

-VHP leader Ashok Singal

Deepockets Chips In For Clinton

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Led by New Age™ guru Deepockets Chopra, Indian Americans donated close to $2 million dollars to Senator Hilary Clinton's election fund at a fundraising event in New York City this weekend, an event attended by some of the leading lights of the Indian-American community.

Chopra even took a chop at Clinton's main adversary, Barack Obama:

Last night, author and spiritual guru Deepak Chopra told The New York Sun that Mr. Obama "should know better." [This regarding a memo circulated by Obama's campaign staff regarding Clinton's close ties to the Indian-American community.]

"I thought that was ridiculous," Mr. Chopra said of the memo. "We are American citizens, right? He's a minority. He should know better."

Mr. Chopra said that while Mr. Obama was a "wonderful candidate," Mrs. Clinton has a "much bigger chance of winning."bigger chance of winning."

With various movie deals and retreat facilities springing up everywhere, Chopra is a leading contender for the title King of the Cha-CHING! Riding in the back pocket of the possible future leader of the free world is just icing on the cake for this master of self-promotion.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, take notice! You've got a long way to go before you can even begin to consider yourself in the same league as Deepockets and Big Mamma.

Fundie Hindus Promote Their Own As Goddess

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Folks in India are in an uproar over this depiction of the Hindu fundamentalist party (BGP)-supported Chief Minister of Rajasthan state, India, as the Goddess Annapurna:


But even better yet, Vasundhara Raje may just like her some hot lesbian lip-locking as well:


Now that's some fundamentalist political action even we can feel good about!

A Waste Of Time On Sri Sri

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Knowing his unbridled lust for as many accolades as his crack PR squad can muster, we imagine Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is mighty pleased to be a point of contention at an Maharaja Sayaji Rao University senate meeting in Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India. It's apparently a microcosm of Indian politics in general, with the conservatives (BJP) and the liberals (Congress) going at it over who should be awarded honorary degrees this year:

Senate meetings today are a turf for one-upmanship and mudslinging between the BJP and Congress factions. No one expects them to come up with ideas. If anything, these experienced members have perfected the fine art of politicising academics.

During their last meeting on March 31, for instance, one group, proposed honorary degrees for Reliance Industries chairman Mukesh Ambani and spiritual guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. The anti-BJP group immediately proposed eight other names including Narayan Murthy, Azim Premji, Laxmi Mittal, and Sam Pitroda among others. Instead of important academic and administrative issues, the senate members debated on honorary degrees for two hours.

Of course it's the conservatives who are backing Sri Sri. But we bet he'd dump them the instant he thought he could get more traction with the other side.

Either way, he'll probably end up with another plaque for his wall of fame shame, allowing him to blow his own horn just a little bit louder. And hopefully one day, loud enough to attract the attention of the Nobel Peace Prize committee.

De Ruiter Builds Temple To His Ego

File under: Gurubusting, Satscams and The Siddhi or PR

Today brings news of Canadian New Age™ guru John De Ruiter's new temple, a grand structure which appears to accurately portray his grand ego. Having his multiple girlfriends on hand to dedicate his new "conference center" completes the picture of a runaway grandiosity that knows no checks, simply because he has surrounded himself with dunderheaded sycophants. Really, it's all in this simple statement he made to the reporter once:

"I just know that it will get big," he said.

But will "it" be big enough to contain his ever-inflating self-regard? We doubt it. Such is the mechanism of a big-time guru's success. Take one slick conman who says he's God – one who just might believe it himself – add thousands of desperate morons who are willing to believe in his divinity, and you've got all the makings of a grade-A cult.

Once again, we are ready to jump into the industrial-sized recycling bin behind the local microbrewery, as the only way we'll ever feel clean again is to take a bath in thousands of bottles worth of broken glass shards.

Me Me's Future Powerbase

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Me Me Sri Sri Ravi Shankar seems like he expects to rule the world. But despite his overwhelming lust for name and fame, he's still got enough sense to know he can't do it by himself. Thus, he's instituted another donation trap charitable program which seeks to enjoin India's youth to become a problem-solving resource for Me Me's political ambitions the country and world at large:

The focus of [World Alliance for Youth Empowerment] is to identify issues and solutions and present a formal report to the government, with expert advice back-up, suggesting a course of action. Many such conferences are to be held in Bangalore over the next few weeks to collect enough data concerning issues and solutions. The idea is to empower youth to use their talents to offer workable ideas.

As part of their efforts to refine the education system, which was identified as the root cause of all issues, WAYE director Khurshed Batliwala said the Art of Living Foundation universities in Orissa and Gujarat will have practical, professional courses in politics and governance.

Naturally, these youth will be indoctrinated instructed in the various Art of Living meditation courses. Overtime, Me Me hopes to garner an army of little Me Me men and women, all perfected as AoL-bots emissaries of peace and sent out to spread the virus message of stress-free living that operates as a cover for Me Me's drive to have the whole world groveling at his feet celebrating his wisdom.