The Love Guru Arrives With A Splat

File under: The Siddhi of PR

We'll add: a much bigger splat than it would gotten had all those fame-whoring Hindu "leaders" found another cause to attach to their dreams of hitting the big-time:

"Not only does the film stumble badly from one skit to another, the skits themselves have too much dead air."

"Unlike Dr. Evil, who wasn’t afraid to be unlikable, Pitka’s schtick is one giant cry for acceptance -- eccentric but not challenging, therapeutic but not cathartic -- which is absolute death to comedy."

"More painful than sitting next to an Austin Powers impersonator during a 12-hour flight."

"The Love Guru is so relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating -- one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too."

"Offensive, revolting and jawdropingly awful from beginning to end, a complete and total piece of Singularly Horrid Infantile Trash (TM)."

Sorry, Mike. If you'd have invited us to the premiere, we'd have posted the one good review this stinker received. And to Rajan Zed and the other haters: great job on getting a bad movie much, much, much more attention than it ever deserved. You were drinking the Mike Myers/Paramount Kool-Aid the whole friggin' time. Dupes.

Whiny Hindus To Get Love Guru Preview

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Paramount Pictures is apparently seeking to appease a whiny Hindu organization (in Reno, Nevada, of all places) and has agreed to screen the The Love Guru, Mike Myers' upcoming summer blockbuster:

Prominent Indo-American leader Rajan Zed, who spearheaded this issue, says that guru is a highly revered spiritual teacher, master and preceptor in Hinduism who helps remove the ignorance of the seeker.

Actually, we quite agree with this. That's what a guru should be. But then, there are a lot of should bes that aren't in the world, including the quaint little picture presented above. We're not saying there aren't gurus like this. In truth, there are plenty of them. But most big-time gurus, the type we address here, are not in this class. At best, they are misguided and naive. They certainly all have a public face and a private face. It is the darkness of the private face that determines how nasty they are, although a sincere yet naive guru can do a lot of damage as well.

We doubt Paramount will actually change the film for these cry-babies. They may cut a few seconds here and there, but this movie is probably substantially complete, and we doubt Myers or the studio will fold over the issues these people are likely to raise.

And who knows? It might be that Paramount wants to make these folks upset. After all, they've already given the film a good deal of pre-publicity. Movie companies pay millions for that sort of thing, and here these uppity folks are all set to keep handing it to them for free.

The Love Guru To Put Hindus' Panties Into Wad

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Austin Powers movie series actor Mike Myers has a summer release called The Love Guru coming soon to a theater near you, unless your town is full of fundie Hindus:

The Universal Society of Hinduism has expressed fear that the upcoming Hollywood movie The Love Guru may lampoon the religion and has demanded that it be shown to the society members for vetting before release.

President of the society Rajan Zed, who is based in Reno, Nevada, said in a statement issued in Chandigarh that from the information available about the movie, it appears to be lampooning Hinduism and Hindus and uses Hindu terms frivolously.

You just know those USH folks have the sense of humor of a road-kill skunk, so get ready for some fundie freaking-out along with your silly spoofy summer entertainments, with that freaking-out likely to only increase interest and attendance in the film. It might turn out that the USH protest may be the best thing to happen to The Love Guru, promotion-wise.

Deepockets Hearts Love Guru

File under: The Siddhi of PR

It may have something to do with the fact he makes a cameo in the film, but Deepockets Chopra came out today as a Love Guru lover:

"The premature outcry against the movie is itself religious propaganda," Chopra writes, noting that the protesters based their views on the film's 2 1/2-minute trailer. "As viewers will find out when the movie is released this summer, no one is more thoroughly skewered in it than I am — you could even say that I am made to seem preposterous."

It sounds like Love Guru creator Mike Myers has been shooting fish in a barrel. But if you asked us, he shot the wrong fish. He should really be aiming at the humorless self-promoters making their bones on the back of his film, like that incessantly whining Love Guru-hater, Rajan Zed. If anyone needs a good lampooning, it's that loser.

This Summer's Real "Love" Guru

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Forget Mike Myers and his "Pitka" character, the real "love" guru this summer is going to be Austin, Texas' Swami PrakasakaBoomBoom Saraswati, (young ladies, you'll know those "booms" when you find his hand down the front of your dress):

Saraswati, or "Shree Swamiji" as his devotees call him, gave the teaching just hours after his followers paid $1 million to bail him out of the Hays County jail.

The 79-year-old Saraswati teaches seminars in New York, but in Austin, 20 counts of child sexual abuse await his return.

Of course, the dupes are staying dumb down in Texas:

"We are deeply saddened by these accusations. They are completely not true," Barsana Dham spokesperson Prabhakari Devi said after learning of Saraswati's arrest.

The JKP sure knows how to pick 'em for their pie-in-the-sky, mindless devotion and head-in-the-sand oblivion to some blindingly obvious traits in their gurus. But Texas ain't no Trinidad-Togago, so there will be no buying their way out of this one.

Update: A sharp-eyed reader provides a few more links about the affair.