Guruphiliac: Geeks And Nerds About To Rush Raelians

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Geeks And Nerds About To Rush Raelians

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

The impending release of a video exposé shot at a Las Vegas Raelian convention is going to have sex-starved geeks in a stampede when they are exposed to the fact that hot women will have sex with them if they join. A Raelian spokesperson himself enthused, "The footage taken at the seminar is all great as far as I'm concerned."

Even when their leader was caught in stark hypocrisy:
One "gotcha" moment shows the Raelian leader riveted by the erotic gyrations of Raelian dancers. Another shows him instructing seminar attendees not to gamble while visiting Las Vegas because it's against the teachings of the Elohim -- the aliens that populated Earth through cloning, according to Raelian doctrine. Later, Vorilhon is seen betting at a casino...

"That was the cutest thing," spokesman Ali said of the alleged gambling incident. "The biggest thing we want in life is to see all humans happy. A big part of our philosophy is to play, have fun."
Can we get an "Oh Yeah!" to that?

However, those other beliefs—cloned aliens populating the Earth and Vorilhon being some kind of UFO-connected savior—pretty much render it the province of horny nutbags, the incredibly naive and now the just plain sex-starved.


At 9/09/2005 6:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Raelians. They never fail to give me a lift.

If you're ever feeling a bit nutty and down, just ask a Raelian, "If humans were genetically engineered by aliens, who genetically engineered the aliens?" and you'll be smiling for days. My last encounter elicited a response about aliens living on the atoms of your body, and so on, all the way down to the quantum foam. Choise!

At 9/09/2005 10:09 AM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

I imagine I could learn to love them too, considering that I am one of the "plain sex-starved" myself.

But being such an opinionated asshole, it would be extremely difficult to let their ideological nonsense sit in my brain without protest, and I'd probably get kicked out well before I got any real nookie out of it.


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