Guru U. Fights the Party

File under: Gurus Bringing The New Age™

A professor at the Maharishi University of Management in Fairfield, Iowa, claims that the "normal" college experience causes brain damage. Wait... isn't that why we went there? Professor Alarik Arenander singles out stress, anxiety, sleep depravation and that old college tradition, binge-drinking. Right... I knew that's why we went there. [Actually, we didn't binge-drink at all. We just dropped eleventy billion mic(rogram)s of acid and about 3 pounds of ecstasy.]

So what's a brain damage-dodging collegiatus to do? Practice TM™ of course! They've come a long way since those days in the 70s when they fleeced thousands with only 16 mantras, each sold as unique to every initiate. We hear they've got as many as 24 to work with now.