Virgin Mary Orders Hit On Devotee?

File under: Satscams

San Antonio, Texas, TV station WOAI is gurubusting again on Juan Pablo Delgado, leader of a Virgin Mary cult in Costa Rica that is also a haven for pedophile ex-priests. Claiming to have visions of the Virgin Mary and photographed with what looks like stigmata, Juan seems to have discovered that both are very useful when fleecing devout, yet none-too-bright Catholic folk.

The snitching ex-devotee fears for her life as she's heard the Virgin herself has ordered the hit. Mary is believed to be sending St. John Gotti and St. Al Capone to perform the whacking. The FBI has the ex-devotee under witness protection, but has also gone ahead and called in Jesus to negotiate the standoff with his mother. She is expected to appear on a taco within 48 hours with her demands.