Nazi Nurse's Pedo Palace Opens To Outside

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Colonia Dignidad—ex-Nazi nurse Paul Schäfer's personal pedophilia palace and torture tank for the Pinochet regime—has thrown open their gates to the world outside. Apparently, Schäfer held an extraordinary degree of control over his flock; at least that's what they're saying in a effort to distance themselves from the heinous crimes he committed there.

Things are now looking up for the former followers of "Permanent Uncle" with their control of the commune's lucrative assets and the threat of punishment permanently removed. Meanwhile, we imagine Schäfer's alter ego—the evil Nazi nurse Fraulein Paulina—trying to work it in a Chilian prison for smokes and protection as "she" awaits trial on murder, human rights and pedo charges. Only we now hear the former torture master is a bottom for a bunch of brutes who only keep him alive because they think it's funny to hear him say "sexy, sexy baby" in Spanish with a German accent.

By way of [ReligionNewsBlog]