Kabbalah Coming Down

File under: Satscams

Quite suddenly but not surprisingly, there's a plague of bad PR raining down on the Rabbis Berg and their Kabbalah Centre. And their stable of stars hooking for them will not escape the deluge.

There's a lot of Hollywood religion in the press lately. But unlike Kabbalah, Scientology seems to be immune to the effects of public disfavor. That's probably because they have no single ultimate authority. It seems to be run like a corporation, with some kind of nameless and faceless Board of Directors, despite their own high profile celebrity promoters.

The Rav and his son Yehuda have the distinct disadvantage of being very easy targets, and their number one shill Madonna has been painting a big fat bullseye on the both of them with her rabid over promotion of their teachings. As much as she may be deluded otherwise, people just aren't looking for spiritual advice from fading pop stars. In fact, we believe they are sick of hearing about it from them.

So what happened to the evil eye energy stored in the basement of each Centre? We're hearing that all the other Kabbalah rabbis got together and petitioned Yahweh with one voice. Yahweh heard them and called in his big guns, the gossip reporters, while simultaneously neutralizing the store of evil eye energy with a few tears donated by Moses.

With no way to zap those who harry them and stars not capable of saving them, the Bergs are probably looking at the beginning of the end of their ascendance. Their shameless and incessant star fucking has been so blatant that nobody is fooled about their intentions now. There's been a turning of the corner for the Kabbalah Centre—down. We predict their eventual abandonment by the big names, who will almost certainly seek to protect their earning ability well before there's any actual danger of bottoming out with the Bergs.