Monday, February 20, 2006

Gassing Guru To Go To Trial

File under: Gurus Doin' Time

He tried mumbling, he tried dozing off and he even tried wearing diapers. Aum Shinrikyo founder Shoko Asahara attempted to pull a "Chin" on the courts of Japan, but the Toyko subway-gassing guru has been declared fit to stand trial in his death sentence appeal.

The faux funny farm guru still has a decent supply of devotees who believe he is God, so security will be high at the court proceedings.

We look forward to seeing what else the mass-murdering guru and his lawyers try to come up with in their attempt to prevent his execution. You'd think his devotees would catch a clue about the guy's divinity, him being in jail and all. With all the powers of creation at his fingertips, the dude should just be able to fly away at any moment. Doubtless the devotees believe Asahara is just teaching us all a lesson with his continued incarceration, and that at the appointed moment he'll rise up, vanquish his opponents in the court and install himself as the emperor of the world.

We'll let you know when that happens.


At 3/02/2006 3:57 PM, Blogger Bob said...

I do hope he looses some weight. It's really embarassing when you get stuck in the trap-door!


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