Gurus In Jail: A Roundup

File under: Gurus Doin' Time

• Chile's own Nazi death nurse and Colonia Dignidad leader Paul Schaefer is getting blamed for the execution of at least 22 dissidents immediately after the coup that brought General Augusto Pinochet to power:

Gerhard Mucke, one of the former leaders of the colony, made the disclosures about the killings of dissidents to Jorge Zepeda, the judge investigating human rights abuses at the sprawling farm 210 miles south of Santiago, the newspaper said.

Mucke told the judge that Schaefer ordered him in 1978 "to clean the farm" removing the remains.

"All the bodies were burned," Mucke said, according to the paper.

We imagine Schaefer now getting his "farm" cleaned every time he drops the soap in the shower.

• And in Japan, a couple of AUM acolytes were busted for tax evasion for trying to set up a slush fund for subway-gassing death row guru Shoko Asahara's wife and daughter:

The 35-year-old man and his conspirator... allegedly opened the savings account with the purpose of having the man's company dodge taxes and used the account to support the wife and daughter of Aum founder Shoko Asahara, whose death sentence is expected to be finalized in the near future.

This is apparently in addition to the money Asahara's wife is getting for leasing her paintings to the cult:

According to the agency, oil paintings depicting gods including Shiva, in whom the cultists have faith, are hung in the group's buildings around the country. The paintings are said to be the works of [Asahara]'s wife, and some cult members believe the paintings depict [Asahara].

That sounds a bit conflict of interesty to us, but a gal has got to pay her bills and we suppose it's better than turning tricks on the corner.