Guruphiliac: The Senile Old Man Hates Hogs



Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Senile Old Man Hates Hogs

File under: The Siddhi or PR and Wackadoo Gurus

The TM™ town Fairfield, Iowa, got all up in arms about a local farmer's plans to raise hogs on his own property. The land is adjacent to the town where they have an unconstitutional law requiring all food sold there to be organically-grown. The solution that local TM™er politicos came up with was to seize the poor farmer's land under eminent domain laws after the he refused to sell out to the cultists. As it turns out, the TM™ers may have bounced the gun:
[Farmer] Palm, 57, remained steadfast in his refusal to sell.

"It's everything to us," Palm said about the farm on which he grows corn and soybeans with his brothers Lou and Ron.

Ron Palm said he and his brothers have dropped the idea of a hog confinement and they said city officials jumped the gun when they threatened to use eminent domain.

"About all we had done was research into a hog confinement," Ron Palm said. He said the brothers also considered raising cattle or growing a vineyard.
We say go whole hog on those hogs, boys, just to spite them uppity, ass-bouncing losers. They'll all be gone in 10 years anyway after their loony leader the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi gives up his ghost, freeing the world of the one of the most grandiose gurus to hit the scene in the last 100 years.

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10 Comments:

At 6/26/2007 7:11 PM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Jody,

I'm thinkin you've never lived next to a hog farm or a cattle feed lot. Think of my overalls and under britches when they haven't been changed for a week and you begin to smell what I'm talkin about. Hog lots poison the water table and even though hogs are quite intelligent critters, probably as intelligent as some of these TMers, nobody ought to have to live near them.

I used to know this Maureen Wynne who is the city attorney of this Vedic City. She's a Texan. I'm not sayin she has a hair lip but she does talk funny. Imagine the most prim and uppity elementary school principal you ever had, give her a hair lip and you have this Maureen Wynne. I don't mind her livin next to hogs or any of the other 250 ultra rich, stick up their ass TMers who also live there. But it ain't good for the environment and these farmers should just get paid for not raisin hogs.

That's my two cents worth!

 
At 6/26/2007 7:40 PM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

I've smelled those hogs chasing tornaders around Kansas, Texas and Oklahoma. Maybe the stink will wake those folks up to the fact that their leader is a loser and they are too for believing in his grandiose nonsense.

 
At 7/02/2007 11:03 AM, Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Good points, Chuck and Jody. But I just have one question: Chuck, why don't you have a blog too?

 
At 7/03/2007 8:21 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Cosmic Connie said...
Chuck, why don't you have a blog too?
..................

Connie, thank you for your kind attention, butt I can never have my own blog because of two reasons: I don't have the same brain power as you and Jody and I don't have the time...

My brains are more like those of the ganja smoking semblance, they flare from time to time and light up the vicinity in perhaps an interesting way, butt then just smoulder and make a smell that can only be tolerated by the few, not the multitudes who flock to yours and Jody's good knees of understanding. I have been told by many here that I should just shut my pie hole and keep it shut unless wanting to pour a mess of fried okra into that self same hole.

Number two is Time. Between my auto parts job, my service to Momma, to Chuck JR's momma, to Chuck JR himself and now to Chuck JR's reformed hooker of a wife, I barely have time to muck out my mule stalls, mow the Dime Box First Baptist grass of a Saturday afternoon, fulfill my duties as subdeacon and bored member of the self same church, AND KEEP UP MY MATRIMONIAL SERVICES...

You may have forgotten, Connie, that I have taken on the job of finding a wife for Jody. Having failed first with your own self and with Sister Durga, I have been forced to search the entire world to find a suitable gal. For a split second I thought of friend Betty or this Judy Stein whose name pops up here and there---but I figure they are just too blame old! Jody needs a gal between the age of 22 and 30, still young enough to think that jumping off of a 1000 foot cliff into a messs of cactus can be an adventure! If you are not willing to reconsider Jody, do you have any friends I might talk to on behalf of the boy?

These are the kind of things that keep Chuck up at night when he should be sleeping and getting rested so he can do his hours of sadhana of a morning!

 
At 7/03/2007 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck said...For a split second I thought of friend Betty or this Judy Stein whose name pops up here and there---but I figure they are just too blame old!

In the first place, Chuck, BITE ME! In the second I would recommend that you consider a same sex marriage for Jody, since the “gals” all seem to be problematic for both of you. You seem to be married in the real sense of that word to your mule or your horse. Maybe you are a practicing polygamist and are married to Chuck JR’s mother AND your mule. If so I suspect that your mule, although unable to procreate, is male, which makes you something that could get you booted from the Baptist Church. If you are willing to consider a same sex marriage for Jody, I would recommend that you speak to Stuart Resnik, semblance, or perhaps Pug and his boyfriend, John Christian from the TM blog. Any of the above would be likely candidates in my opinion.

Otherwise, shut your okra hole!

 
At 7/03/2007 4:27 PM, Blogger guruphiliac said...

Betty: As much as I admire the Gays, I'm not going to thrive in a same sex marriage.

Chuck: Give it up, buddy. I'm destined to die single. I've accepted this as a feature of my life. Please do the same so we don't have to hear Betty say BITE ME again.

 
At 7/03/2007 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too late, Bite Me, Jody!

 
At 7/04/2007 7:56 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Betty, I am gobbed stopped by this outpouring of venom from your good self! I am reft of voice and must pray on this matter!

Was it somethig I said?

 
At 7/04/2007 5:17 PM, Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Chuck, I appreciate the honor of being considered for the position of Mrs. Jody; I truly do. I am sure Durga appreciates it too, although I cannot speak for her. However, I have already found the love of my life, the good Rev Ron, and I aim to keep him. Also, at 251, I am a little bit too old for Jody. But thank you anyway.

And somebody please bite Betty so we can move on to something else.

 
At 7/05/2007 8:08 AM, Blogger CHUCK said...

Cosmic Connie said...
Chuck, I appreciate the honor of being considered
..........

Alright, CC, I have give up... This Rev Ron must be a good one for you to turn down Jody! As for Betty, if only I had met her 39 years ago!

 

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