Guru Left Lives Made And Broken
File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and Gurus To The Stars
Vijayadev Yogendra was a bit of a family wrecker like Amadon Amadon, a bit of a success counselor like Deepak Chopra, and a lot of a money collector like almost all the rest of them. Recently killed by cancer, a disease he claimed he could cure; Yogendra's wife, younger by 33 years, was next by way of suicide. In a stunning case of co-dependent narcissism, former party girl Kate Ellis followed the source of her self-acceptance to the grave.
A fixture in Australia's upper echelon, Yogendra's Rasputinish charms had found a fallow field to furrow:
He had the sort of self-regard that could... convey eternal reassurance. Like [Fitzgerald's] Gatsby, the guru had a smile that "concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour, understanding you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believ(ing) in you as you would like to believe in yourself".Apparently, Vijay has made and broke the fortunes of a number of his devotees over the last 40 years, all the while being a typically naughty guru:
There was no room to disagree. Anyone who did was told their ego was obliterating the guru's higher purpose... Covertly he was conducting affairs, several women claim. One, in his inner circle, says he initiated midnight trysts, saying it would free her from her "sexual demons".Here's a man who worked his way through the money and power of Australia's elite like a hooker at a butchers' convention. A vivid and telling illustration of an essential truth many sham gurus make use of: as long as you say what they want to hear, they'll always believe you are telling them the truth.
While followers were encouraged to live simply, he drove the latest Range Rover, began wearing expensive cologne by Paco Rabanne, and flew first class, always in seat 1A.
posted by guruphiliac @ 6:09 PM
63 Comments:
I totally agree. I met VJ in the 80's he was a repulsive sleaze. God knows what his deperate devotees saw in him. He was a self serving man living in an abound of wealth from other peoples money. Most of his foundation members had been desperate addicts of drugs or alcohol or from prison easily preyed upon.
It would appear from all I can listen to,read and research that as one of vijays acquaintances said he was a victim of his own success.I knew vijay not closely ,read all his writings ,he was in my opinion very wise yes some would say cunning and it would seem also very human to the point of egotistical maniac.
Those who know the revered Shri Yogendra,Vijays father,would be well aware where Vijays wisdom come from.
There is no doubt Vijay helped many including myself.It would also seem hurt many and lost his way.
I suppose the only defence one could offer is Vijay and others know something we are not aware of.
Maybe lifes a sick joke or maybe he was just a bastard of the human kind.
As his father says yesterday is gone.
lets get on with it and love one another.
Just remember people the internet is for use and abuse.
Let people make up there own minds about Vijay.
Vijay helped a bloody lot of people and i think made a lot of enemies simply because their egos were tested and they did not like it including some journalists.
The vested egos have attempted a hatchet job .
The mind is a powerful tool and Vijay used it with excellence.
Dont judge people with respect on internet this or that. Keep the mind open.
From my experience he was a good bloke.
Rest in Peace Vijay.
I met Vijay in 1969, at a time when I was in great need to get control of myself - I was hyperactive and after 2 years of medical treatment, surgery was prescribed as essential. I knew that my mental and physical state was a result of my own doing and I was determined to overcome my behaviour patterns. Vijay was the one to show me the technique to attain my aim. This was not an easy task. It required a great effort from me and knowledge from Vijay.
Over the years I managed to reform my behaviour and have not had a relapse in almost 40 years although the physical fault still remains.
I can understand the attitude of those who write against Vijay. I was considered by him as a "senior student" but had my own falling out with him and with the organisation.
Vijay was a man with undoubtable ability and wisdom, but what counts more than these is the strength to apply ones wisdom to life. I think Vijay lost his way although it is not for me to condemn him. I am thankful to have had him for a teacher. He made me think and this is the mark of a good teacher.
I still love him and wish him well but the mistake his students in the main have made was to have faith in him. I always followed the principles and not the man.
When this story first broke in 2005 I was in agreement with what was said about Vijayadev Yogendra. It sounded pretty bad. However, 3 years on after the dust has settled, it seems not all that was alleged was right.
I have seen the school he set up and spoken to its students and graduates. Wonderful open and positive young people. There are no statues or photographs of the so-called guru. Apparently he didn't want them. I have spoken to the quite level headed and ordinary folk who have continued his work. Very sincere and decent people.
On the other hand, some of the things I have observed and learned about some of his critics are not so pleasant.
Now, I think Keiran Perkins was the one that got him right - a wise and unselfish man who just wanted to help people, without wanting any reward.
It looks like his life's work is blossoming and bearing fruit. Goodness knows our strife torn world needs it.
I have also practised in the Yogendra system and have found it to be just as everyone else, full of vulnerable dependent lonely people who have been seduced by the idea of love that they themselves have never had. My husband was seeing one of their therapists unknown to him for anger and stress management????? I was requested to go in and meet his therapist. upon meeting her, she found out I was doing Yoga at home, she then introduced both of us to Yoga and placed us into marriage guidance counselling we are now divorced. I find it a curse that I live with everday and have to see a counsellor for the problems that have been caused by my teacher jan Dugan.....
There have been many terrible things said about Vijay, many of which have not been explained by his followers. However it is very important to remember the huge amount of amazing work he did gratis for over 35 years for countless people, and the quiet, unassuming good work many of his students continue to do. His school in rural QLD is one such example.
Followers of any religion or spirituality form an emotional attachment because of their insecurity and dependence. This is the problem of those who still follow their deceased guru.
These people need your prayers.
When I read all your comments, I appreciate the contradictory experiences and emotions. However, I do not believe that any one should set themselves up as higher than everyone else. And this man did, as I know to my personal and sorrowful cost.
Follow the principles, not the man, as an earlier respondent said.
The world is bigger than us all.
I met Vijay over the 1980's and so on before he moved to Queensland and found him to be a sincere,dedicated,selfless humanitarian who contributed greatly to many areas of human need.If this approach was practised widely by society today there would not be the problems that are evident today.Undoubtedly a highly ethical humanitarian ethos was apparent in Educational and psychological and other contributions.Many,many years of sincere altruistic service ....was was provided.Vijay did eventually retire ..I think we need to affirm the good he has done....The world needs more of the good this man has done!That's for sure!
I worked with Vijay for over 30 years and was always amazed at his capacity for continuous work and service. I saw him deliver wise guidance to many many different types of people and contribute his time and ideas selflessly. The so called extravagant lifestyle is a gross exaggeration. - just because someone likes quality products doesn't make them greedy or corrupt. As you inevitably find with strong personalities, he did fall out with a lot of people who inevitably also had strong personalities. He was of course not perfect - and he no doubt made some bad decisions in his time. I think it's called being human. His good work easily outweighed any mistakes 10 to 1. Let's give the man a break and acknowledge the good he has done - which lives on with many many people.
I have recently read his book entitled "Overcoming Negative Feelings" and have returned to the practice of yoga that I learnt in the 1980's.From experience I have discerned the incredible value of these practices in enhancing resilience,equanimity,focus and in generating positive energy.Experientially it is highly beneficial in creating a buffer between oneself and the stress of the world.If people diligently and consistently practised the meditation approach suggested in his book they may find that it is immensly positive and perhaps the answer to dealing with the overwheming stresses of the modern day.If these methods were practiced excellent results can be obtained.Thankyou Vijay for this grat contribution to humanity.
I was a student of Vijay's and I think both sides of the story are true. he did help a lot of people, including me, and for that he deserves praise. He also had a large ego made mistakes. My mistake was to listen to him uncritically. When I realise I needed to take responsibility for my decisions I no longer need to idolise or demonise him. It did all end a bit sadly unfortunately.
Why do Viyay's children might remain so silent ...?
You can't say someone is wise and corrupt at the same time--that may be 'true' but is ultimately corrupting and I imagine it's his children that are on the front line of this.
(And his first wife. ... And the second, perhaps. I'm not going to judge.)
He appalled and angered me with his narcisstic ways and how they bent and bowed others in his latter years ..
(Which is why I'm prepared to cross a line and maybe hurt his family to say ... what a misguided and ultimately sad trajectory.
I was a student of Vijay. I attended the Yogendra System of Healthy Living classes in Brisbane from about 1992 to 1997. I also participated in a few of the charitable projects Vijay sponsored. My experience of Vijay was that he had a rare insight into people and life, he was an inspiration, a source of wisdom; and he contributed significantly to my life in a positive way. He also stated that he knew his own limitations. I agree with the published comments of Prominent Brisbane architect Graham Bligh who said the attacks by “a handful of people with axes to grind” are obscene. “I was privileged to be an independent student of Vijay for over 20 years,” he says. “He was one of a handful of people for whom I would stand on his entering a room, such was my respect.” R.I.P. Vijayadev Yogendra.
Paul Stokes, Singapore, 25/07/2013
Vijay was definitely dodgy. There were two episodes. I'd like to hook up with other "survivors". Anyone out there?
30 years of involvement with the group, 12 of which were living closely deeply involved and my experience has been that although there was and appears to be good work done by the guru and the group, that there is equal amount of damage, upset, harm and bother. The main people involved are power hungry out of fear and weak need - without their roles they don't know who they are or how to implement all that knowledge that the guru attempted to teach them. I have been hurt and stressed and understand that I learnt from the experience - so I made the best of the situation and know my own weaknesses at the times contributed. I see clearly now and breathe relaxed away from the insular community. Two generations of involvement with the school and community and I observe the school is good enough but behind the scenes is difficult and stressful and oh so political in many ways. Keep an arms length and enjoy the benefits of the school but don't get too involved in anything - yoga classes included. In reply to Fred Rowan I am a survivor of their latest guru, yep they replaced their first and totally are justifying it as they do, and sweeping what they don't want to know under the rug as they do. Excuse me not disclosing my name, it's to protect my relationship with two people still involved there who are not quite seeing the light and who we are being clear and strong for rather than attacking for they are not ready and we don't want them to dig their heals in out of some false need to justify their being there still - rest of the family and friends have left any involvement. Big move for some who are caught up - I know that one! But oh there is life on the other side and there are great people living honestly and spiritually great and all the rest that that community arrogantly think only they do. Silly people who would be ok if they left others alone but they affect badly and are judgmental so I here relieve myself of upset that lingers and dump on those foundation members back.
I too had a long involvement with the group. I attended yoga classes in Melbourne at the Yoga Education Centre, in Chapel Street and was invited to join a young peoples group that was associated with the Yoga Centre and The School Of Total Education.
I married someone also involved and moved to Queensland where our children attended the school. We lived in the community for 20 years. On a day to day basis the community provided a lot of support and friendship amongst like minded people.
I agree with previous posts that a mistake many of us made was to follow the man and not the principles. A hierarchy built up around Vijay. Some students were very close to him and became like an inner circle. They reported back to him and people were either included in a positive way or excluded in a subtle way, being made to feel as though they were not measuring up and feeling as though they were on the outer. Vijay did not welcome criticism and if someone doubted him and questioned a decision it was often suggested that you could always leave if you were not happy living in the community.
This is a difficult step to make when you have settled with friends and employment nearby, and your children are happy at the school. He made it known that to have blind faith in a teacher was the relationship that would allow him to pass on his teachings. The unfortunate affect was to make people behave in a way to gain his approval and had a divisive affect in the community.
There was much secrecy surrounding his marriage breakdown, remarriage and relocation to Port Douglas. Some students relocated to Port Douglas with him and left the community in secrecy explaining to friends that they were leaving to live somewhere else but not saying where they were going.
His adult children were estranged from him and his first wife and his former assistant had left the community under great stress as members of the community close to ViJay remained blindly loyal to him, turning their back on her.
Vijay's death in Port Douglas and his young second wife's suicide some days later was also cloaked in secrecy.
People who questioned were treated as disrespectful troublemakers leaving much confusion. Some parents were asked to take their children out of the school if they supported others on the outer.
It was a horrible, traumatic time, for many people in the community.
Most who stayed seemed unable to even contemplate that there was any problem and refused to believe any stories that they considered negative about Vijay.
Most who left the community went through a very traumatic time getting their lives back on track, often receiving counselling, and feeling angry that everything had turned out the way it had.
People who were members of the community were idealistic and young when they joined, many were respected professionals most had put in a great deal of voluntary work to establish the school. While many struggled financially themselves Vijay did live a comparatively comfortable life often financed through voluntary work.
Those who left felt betrayed and often angry with themselves for having believed in someone who in the end turned out to be as fallible and human as anyone else.
I now believe that the yoga taught to me at the yoga centre in Melbourne is really something very helpful and have again started practising it. I stopped for many years as the difficult experience of having been part of the community made me reject nearly everything associated with it. Those who stayed appear to do so out of their friendships and feelings of security of belonging.
It has been quite a journey for all involved.
It's great to read all these comments. I left the organisation (?Cult? Centre? School? I don't know what to call it) at the age of 23. I started lessons when I was 16. I was a lost soul. Depression kicked in at around the age of 17 and I glided/drifted into "The Yoga Community." University Yoga society etc. During the first meeting with good ol' Vijay in 1976 he asked me if I masturbated. I was frightened of him. When I got my hand crushed working in one of the bakeries in the early eighties within a day or two he rang my! I was so scared that he rang. He gave me breathing exercises to help me heal the broken hand. I wasn't able to write down or remember his instructions. Looking back it's embarrassing that I did nothing. I will now. I must make the note, though, that the exercises were very helpful and still are. They don't heal you. If you have extreme anxiety as I had it doesn't help in the long term, just for an hour or two. It helps relax the body. Helps concentration, focus. I'm grateful for that. He didn't teach me. His students taught me. But the rest? It needs to be investigated. I'm amazed that it's not been followed through. I know others must have had similar experiences.
I fully agree that the learning comes from the engaging with it all, people, working etc. Just as it does in life usually. Let's give credit where it's due!
It's so tricky to investigate the issues within communities like this. They're deft at hiding things and twisting things and have lawyers on hand! I was faced with the decision to press charges or not and decided not to because it would wreck the relationships of the two family members I'm holding steadfast hoping they'll leave, and taking things to court would not solve as much as we think - the disciples will still tell themselves what they want to hear and dig their heels deeper, and there's a risk it'd become a mess so the main point totally missed. What did occur, and has continually even with their replacement guru G N Shirke, is occassional groups arising and trying to address things within community. Lots of members, parents, students left the school and Brisbane Yoga classes and lots stayed on with either tentative feelings or more conviction. People will gravitate towards this style of living as they need so be it. But what I can't stand for is when others are hurt. Open truthfulness instead of deception is what's called for. Those inner circle members are so needy and unsure they can't hold a mature open conversation about things - defending what? Their fears! Let's all do our little bit in our corner and time will tell as it does. I healed myself and we all can, if that's what I learnt then all good in the end.
Not even all the members know all the goings on - everyone has a different amount and level of experience within the organization. So very much is hidden under a rug with a select few knowing some key things. How can a group who doesn't really want to know what their fears don't want to face ever hope to be brought into the open? It's been going on for so many years, just the same as many other such guru led communities - just wish they weren't so arrogant about it or hurt others. They can do what they want it's a free world but to upset children is wrong!
You cannot be a "good" person when you are a morally bankrupt user. If you look into the psychological profile of this man you will find he was a groomer in search of funds for his foundation and esteem for his own ego. He helped those who could be of use to him and disgarded them when they were no longer any use, especially if they questioned is morality or his wisdom. There are many charlatans out there who fool many people, including child molesting priests, teachers, coaches and so on. Manipulative molesters are not nice people, they are evil Machiavellian monsters just like this man was. He destroyed so many lives, including his first wife and his mistress who ended up moving in together when he carelessly cast them aside. He had affairs with attractive, slim intelligent women under the guise of "helping" them sort out there sex lives. He elevated his own status and extracted money from hard working families to support his extravagent lifestyle. It's easy to be nice to a few unsuspecting, harmless beings who are no threat to your status to convince the world how good you are and who will come to your defence when you ostracise and destroy others. It's also the sign of a psychopath. Look it up....charming, intelligent, egocentric, grandiose, deceitful, manipulative, lacing remorse or guilt. Honestly, there are none so blind as those who will not see.
Totally hypocrite , didn't practice what he preached , it's your fault you were sucked in
If this man was alive today he would most likely be at the centre of investigations for sexual misconduct, bullying, abuse of power, unconscionable conduct when it came to monetary handling and many other "Royal Commission" type of investigations. Frank Underwood in the House of Cards sheds some light on the movements and motives of the type of man that he was. He certainly fooled a lot of people. Those who are too blind to see the facts are victims of his manipulations. They were never exposed to the abuse because he made them feel so very special. This is "splitting" behaviour is common to people with borderline personality disorders and sociopaths.
Why anonymous if you think so highly of Vijay?
So much anonymity. What do you all fear?
Let me tell you a story about Vijay.
Way back in 1985 he called us into his stiflingly stuffy room where his overpriced aftershave nearly suffocated you. Don't care if it was expensive mate, it was shit.
We were the oldest kids at school, 15.
He warned us if we didnt do our homework , we would end up as pimps and prostitutes.
I couldnt believe what I was hearing. "Yo'u're
f*#*ing crazy" . I never swore then, but old Vijay just inspired me i guess. So i kept arguing.
Then Vijay said" I'd like to meet you in ten years time"
"Name the place" i said.
I left that day and am happy to report in ten years time i was studying music and having the best year of my life.
Theres so much more i could write. I did feel sorry for his kids, they were lovely.
We werent allowed to listen or dance to pop music.And on and on it goes...
So the Guru eventually got cancer and told everyone it was in fact a snake bite!
Farewell you old bastard. So heartbroken to hear you were bitten by the Cancer snake.
I am not anonymous. My name is Kelly Copeland. So there��
Hi Fred. Did you connect with anyone?
Apologies for the errors in the above post, the year was 1983. Vijay claimed he was poisoned by a spider and not bitten by a snake. Damn you, January brain😀
Hi Anonymous. No. The Sound of Silence! Loved Kelly's post. He said stuff to me that would be investigated now. Can't say online. If there's anyone out there who wants to share experiences, Hey! Hook up with me. I think it should come to light as well. Tip of the iceberg, I reckon. Thanks for enquiring, Anonymous. Cheers Fred. I'm easy to track down.
Hi Anonymous. No. The Sound of Silence! Loved Kelly's post. He said stuff to me that would be investigated now. Can't say online. If there's anyone out there who wants to share experiences, Hey! Hook up with me. I think it should come to light as well. Tip of the iceberg, I reckon. Thanks for enquiring, Anonymous. Cheers Fred. I'm easy to track down.
In reply to Anonymous at 7/2/2015, it sounds as if you invested much time, energy and dedication to the Vijay community. You have to be patient with family. I understand. Glad to hear you've survived and feeling relief. Being an avoidant fellow, I didn't invest as much. Cheers. Fred Rowan
Twas me who enquired if you had hooked up with anyone. Fortunately I was a "trouble maker" early on when I chose not to put him on a pedestal and chose integrity over kowtowing and fitting in with the group. That's not to say I left unscathed. I was devastated by his nasty comments but eventually figured out he was morally bankrupt because he was so viscious. A good leader doesn't hurt people unnecessarily. I know the inner workings because I am related to someone who was in the inner circle until she too got condemned and ostracised. Loved Kelly's post too.
Hey! Thanks Dolores. I'm glad you followed it up. Good on you for standing up to him. I was 15. Like you, I saw vicious putdowns, insults, embarrassment of others: they were infront of a group and they were aimed always at those low on the pecking order. Watching it was like watching a cruel kid squashing a door-mouse. I shudder when I think of it!
Sent you a private message...I think lol.
Hi Fred, thanks for liking my post.�� I just remember being this young kid who couldnt understand why all the adults were sucked in by this creep with the bad aftershave. I felt really sorry for some of them, the sports teacher was a kind lovely man.
One great thing i got though was the close friendships with classmates. Somehow we knew all the intimate details about our teachers. They were great kids, I always wonder if they are okay. Ive googled them with no luck at all.
Hi Dolores, i love your story. The fun thing about being in a crazy situation is that you can break all the rules. Im sorry you are hurt though.
I have a clear memory of going to the main room and piutting on my Duran Duran record full blast and dancing around with the kids cheering. Pop music was apparently evil and forbidden but ripping off people was fine��
Hi Fred, i'd love to chat more with you and Dolores Johnson. Tried to follow you but Goggle + is shutting down soon.
Any ideas , let me know😀
Hi Sprinkles. I am on Facebook. Send me a private message and I will reply 😊. Fred and I have shared stories. He is thinking a support group in Facebook might be helpful. If anyone is interested let it be known on here and I'm sure something can be organised.
Thanks Dolores, what a great idea for a facebook group. I will now attempt to PM you😀
Hi sprinkles. I'm pretty easy to find online. Try Frederick. I too was a kid - 15. I stuck around till I was 23. It was DEFINITELY dodgy. I too feel for the teachers and volunteers and all those who followed him. They were good folks, that's for sure. Luckily, I can't remember the aftershave!
Hi Fred! Haha, you are very fortunate not to remember that aftershave😀 I think i just found you on Facebook, i will send a friend request. My FB name is different, hint: the initials are R.S. Im not running from the law, im just a private person😀
Hi Dolores, i sent you a friend request, i have trouble sending messages on FB. My initials will be R.S, im a private sort of person so i use a pseudonym😀
I'd love to join a SOTE Survivors page on FB if there is one. There is still so much going on there and with two lawyers running the show many people are being hit with gag orders to suppress their stories of what goes on at the School of Total Education. Vijay might have been the guru back in the day, but they certainly have his replacement there and heaven help you if you question the leader. These replacements are just as morally corrupt as Vijay was and the really sad thing is that the students miss out because education is not a priority there. Students fall behind because they don't teach the full curriculum and if a student needs any form of support then they're just seen as a burden. Only the families who love the leader are brought into the fold, anyone else is treated like a suppressive person, just like the Scientologists.
Hi guys, did you ever start up that Facebook group? I am an ex-student of the school, who was in high school when Vijay fled and saw all the fall out and the division it created. So many people leaving, secrecy and broken lives. I have a lot of bits of story puzzle.
He was a powerful man who ultimately used his gifts to serve himself and his desire for power. Like all gurus.
My heart goes out to the family of his second wife who he brainwashed into committing suicide. What a legacy!
Hi Anonymous,
I had no idea Vijay fled, how very Anne Hamilton Byrne of him😀 Very disturbing to hear Vijay's replacement is also terrible but not surprising.
No Facebook group yet, I hope you are doing well now.
Hi. I've set up a Facebook page. Look up frederick.rowan. My experience was 1976-1983. Like Anonymous 4/242019 I have bits of the story which can contribute to the larger puzzle. My worry was for his first wife, Jill Campbell and her kids by him. I was totally shocked when I heard that they'd parted. He was so much the "family man". Anyway, please feel free to share stories. I'll post what's happened to me too.
Vijay’s second wife Kate was encouraged to commit suicide by G N Shirke who replaced him as guru to the followers and who is called Babaji. I heard from one of his estranged translators. As someone who was engulfed by the cult through parents involvement and since left thank goodness, I see how we fall prey through our own fears and needs. What angers and saddens me is when children are affected by no choice of their own. There’s been a few good things from my own family’s involvement but mostly it’s a chapter we’d like to leave in the past and have learnt lots from the ghastly experience. Wiser
Notice how Vijay’s not mentioned on his family’s yoga institute website at all! He was the charismatic black sheep of the family who “ liked women and fast cars” quote his sister in law. His mother asked me “what was he doing all these years?” when I met her just after Vijay passed away. Vijay learnt lots from his parents, trained as his brother was. What one does with such knowledge is the question here. Some good, lots of damage! There are many layers to the back story and was ensued. My siblings and I were affected and choose to give the whole dam thing very little attention. Leave the past and starve it if your precious energy if you’re healed enough of the trauma, this could be a way forward. Bless the newbies see very clear very soon beyond the shiny object.
Anonymous, 4/11/2019. I was going to start a Facebook page. However, I'm not ready or able to operate it. I'm a little concerned, also, that some inappropriate or legally sensitive posts would result in such a page being set up. It's a tough one because a unified group sharing traumatic Vijay experiences would be a powerful heeling force. A group, however, needs to be properly set up - with commonsense and legally tight rules. Don't know how to do it. P.S., Who is G N Shirke? I heard that another guy succeeded Vijay, but I never heard of G N Shirke!
G N Shirke became the replacement guru by three steps:
1. Although Vijay said mr Shirke should not visit the group as a guest scholar because his character wasn’t up to it ie:it would damage him, Kate encouraged the visit after Vijay’s death.
2. There was discussion between Yogendra and Shirke around Shirke’s Ashram plans in India. According to Shirke relating to a translator, Yigendra asked him to look out for his community after he passed away.
3. Shirke latched onto the first opportunity that arose to come to Australia and has since bought a property and taken stronghold on the trust fund yogendra lett.
Hi Dolores
Inspired by your clarity and being a trouble maker who values integrity over belonging to a group, I include my name and state that overall my parents and my family experience of the whole thing has been more damaging than good. I’m mostly recovered from the trauma except for residue that arises from one loved one still being involved. I was involved with the inner circle and began involvement 25 years ago. When I chose to leave it was after a last straw trauma and I was in the middle of a two sided feud between questioning school parents and defenders of the status quo! There’s been many mass exodus in the past yet the group plods on.
Happy to help others heal and let it go in the fb group - great idea.
https://griffithreview.com/articles/hillock-of-peace/ Written by an ex student of the school
Agreed Fred, a Facebook group is fraught. Rosie’s Griffith essay is being shared amongst ex students of sote school and helping clarify their thoughts and feelings as they move forward in their lives inspirationally. This blog chat has helped me feel validated thanks to all.
There’s some background to G N Shirke’s involvement in posts above I read.
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Your last comment "from my experience he was a good bloke" says it all. You are not considering other people's experience and in so doing YOU are being disrespectful to them. People with powerful minds know how to manipulate the innocent and the ignorant. Choosing not to believe the truth that others have experienced is narrow minded denial. Show us all some respect please.
Wow! A very long but brilliantly written investigation but it doesn't seem that you really discovered the whole truth and what you seek to set you free. My advice to you is that you focus on your future which is potentially very bright with your talent for writing and investigating. This man really doesn't deserve any more air. Learn from the mistakes of insular communities who pit "us against them". They live limited lives. Don't waste your life going down that road. To find out who you are you need to broaden your horizons. It can take a lifetime so enjoy the journey.
WORD SALAD ALERT!
���� That article was more painful than actually being at the School.
Tricky business discussing something that holds varying realities for people - not unlike a dysfunctional family at Christmas time with versions of history and events. Sometimes discussion helps and other times it affects the reality of others in a second hand kind of way. That's how convoluted many of the people in the THEF community engage and live amongst each other every day. Stressful! Interesting how the article and this forum found their way to us or we sought them out! I'm ready for 'disinterest' in the whole thing and going to leave them to it, it's their story, I'm done. It's the best way I can care, even knowing some people are getting disturbed by it all. I'm still friends with one person involved and it's been painful managing that relationship. With 'disinterest' as described in Yoga, I will not feed those goings on with my precious energy any more and I will not feel pain. I hope you can reconcile after being disturbed by the article. It's all just story! I learnt lots from the experience. Moving forward to focus on things that aren't TRICKY, things with more integrity and clarity.
It seems what happens is we affect each other's version of 'reality' when we share stories. Yet, there's potential for clarity when we communicate well. I think delving into our past in an attempt to reconcile a disturbance can be helpful but takes vigilance because we can stew in the old story and end up giving it more attention than it deserves which upsets us more!
I count myself as a survivor of Vijay. My parents, like many others in the 70's, were desperate to find a new more caring philosophy to life and education and so the SOTE journey began. I was a happy and confident 6 year old when i started at the school and left as a 12 year who had all confidence and self esteem stripped away. I watched as the adults stabbed each other in the back to become one of vijays' favourites, reporting on each other (yes even spouses were encouraged to do this) for the most minor things all to become part of the 'inner circle'. I watched as the 'arranged marriages' started to take place first amongst the teachers and later among the students. Vijay was clever and manipulative and would never order anyone to do anything but made it clear that your happiness depended on his approval. To be publicly shamed in front of ALL students, teachers and parents for picking my nose when just 8 years old was a cruel lesson learned. This man did not tolerate anyone voicing an opinion different to his..there was no room at the SOTE for creative thinkers. I remember you Kelly!! And it really made my day to read that you left and have had a fulfilling life..good on you. My family lost so much from the experience both financially and spiritually and it has taken me decades and a lot of counselling to repair the damage caused by this spiritually bankrupt individual but to finally know peace has been worth it.
Hi Meghan, I am so glad to hear from you, but it's so upsetting to hear what you and your family have been through. So sorry it has taken so long to reply, for some odd technical reason my replies to you are not getting through to the moderator
If you' d like to contact me my Facebook page is in my blogger profile, I am Ruby Stephens with the Lurch photo!
I still have your funny letters, and remember how funny you were.
Kelly
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