The Shankaracharyas Return
File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Amma All-Over-The-Planet
The Shankaracharyas of Kanchi are coming home. Currently out on bail, Sri Jayendra Saraswati Swamigal and Sri Vijayendra Saraswati Swamigal are still under indictment for murder along with their temple manager and a number of others. Nonetheless, their June 8 return is to be celebrated with a reception organized by local dignitaries. Apparently, they're not convinced the revered priests were involved in the crime, which has been characterized as a political witch hunt by some in the Indian media.
Another revered Indian spiritual leader, Ammachi, has distanced herself from the spectacle of the Shankaracharyas being accused of murder. That's understandable. Were either of the two Saraswatis to be found guilty, Amma would drop into a negative PR hole quicker than Tom Cruise on Oprah, and lose a lot of traction with her devotees in the process. How would they be able to believe in her divinity if she was wrong about something as monumental as a murderin' Shankaracharya?
Apparently, the politicians have no such fear. They can all claim to have been duped, not being gurus themselves. They've got to acquire their devotees the hard way, with broken promises and a good spokesperson.
Speaking of Ammachi, she's made landfall in Seattle and is currently pulling about $200 per person leading a three day retreat, which isn't all that bad if you're a satsang junkie. A good chunk of change, but well worth it for those seeking to somehow suck in Ammachi's realization like it was crack.
It's still unclear if she's unleashed the ABM yet, but we believe we're prepared to deal with it if she does. Guruphiliac odiyyas have recently discovered that only a simple puja will protect most of North America. The key was to ask Mother Kali to lock up the store, preventing Ammachi from accessing additional milk supplies. However, she's still got her present supply, and certain people will be susceptible, especially those who get a hug. However, most of those folks are already Ammabots, so the net loss of adulthood in America should be minimized.