PrakashakaBoomBoom Bails Out Of Texas

File under: Gurus Doin' Time, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

This summer's real "Love" Guru, Swami PrakashakaBoomBoom (Prakashanand Saraswati), was allowed to leave the States for India after a devotee put up ten-million dollars to guarantee his return to face child molestation charges. Right now, the Swami is thanking his lucky booms for a couple of true American classics: the infomercial and the Ab Flex:

The money was promised by Peter Spiegel, an entrepreneur who made his fortune primarily in direct marketing, according to published media reports posted on his Web site...

Much of Spiegel's fortune appears to have come from products sold through infomercials produced by a company called Kent and Spiegel Direct Inc., based in Culver City, Calif. Partner Marsha Kent has a listed address at Barsana Dham.

One of the Kent and Spiegel products was called the Sobakawa pillow, a posture-correct pillow filled with buckwheat husks and aimed at soothing the aches and pains of aging baby boomers.

Another product was the Ab Flex, which promised to help users lose 5 inches and 10 pounds in only three minutes a day.

Cheap merchandise – very obnoxiously marketed – to the rescue! Could Spiegel have just bought the swami's freedom for 10 mil? That's got to be worth a few thousand particularly personally-attentive gopis in the afterlife.

And what of PrakashakaBoomBoom's own guru, the constantly alleged to be serial sexual molester, Kreepalu (Kripalu Maharaj)? He was looking a bit peaked the last time we saw a photo of him. Perhaps he could use a little time with an Ab Flex as well:

The Blogs Respond To PrakashakaBoomBoom

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

A couple of readers tip us off to some blog reactions to "love guru" Swami PrakashakaBoomBoom's (Prakashanand Saraswati) recent arrest for child molestation:

And these words from Swami’s website may help put the charges against him in some context: “…in the The warmth of Shree Swamiji’s love melts the hearts of those who listen to him and drawing close to him opens the path to God…” The Swami, however will probably be in trouble if the Hays county authorities in Texas are able to prove that Swamiji’s love melted a couple of underage hearts that he managed to draw close to him.

We doubt those hearts were "melted." They were probably more or less blasted to pieces by an old man's lust.

Another blogger offers up the experience of a friend who was molested by PrakashakaBoomBoom's guru, Kripalu Maharaj, or just plain old Kreepalu to us:

Seems that the sexual rot is infesting Kripalu's whole organisation, now that a 79-year-old codger is at it too. This is what happens when you spend all day meditating on the sexual lilas of Radha and Krishna while being celibate, you need to have an outlet somehow.

The friend who was molested by Kripalu also told me how his followers explained ("rationalised") it away as an instance of divine love. The same thing occurs in other Hindu cults as well. Disgusting and sickening.

Indeed. This summer is sure to be the season of the Love Guru in many more ways than a mere movie release.

Über-Kreepy Gurus Slammed In Texas

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

Kripalu Maharaj, (aka Kreepalu,) and his formerly Stateside protegé, Swami Prakashanand Saraswati, (aka PrakashakaBoomBoom,) just got to see the cat jump 50 miles out of the bag. Here are some of the highlights:

The bathroom was next to Prakashanand's bedroom, she remembered. "As I came out, I saw him," she said. "I told him I was excited for that afternoon's program. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bedroom." The woman said Prakashanand pushed her back against the door and groped her breasts and buttocks before quickly leaving...

Another victim shares:

Leaving the ashram one day in the early 1990s, she entered the guru's bedroom to say goodbye. He grabbed her and pulled her down, kissing her and fondling her breasts, she said, adding that she broke away. She lived on the ashram for more than 15 years and said no similar event happened again.

We guess she just wasn't his type.

And yet another victim had this story to tell:

She said she was called to Prakashanand's room many times as a young adult, where, she said, the guru would tell her to lock the door behind her, and then kiss and fondle her. She spent the night in his room, next to his bed, on several occasions, she said. In the middle of the night, she said, he would wake her up and fondle her.

What more can be said? A whole lot more. Read it here.

Our advice to PrakashakaBoomBoom? Kiss that $10 million goodbye and take sanctuary with the slippery salamander that is your own guru, because folks in Texas are going to have little patience for a handsy Swami whose lust turned him into the Devil's playground.

Another "Love Guru" Goes Down In Flames

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Maybe it has something to do with global warming:

Bijan Anjomi, 64, was arrested Tuesday and made his first court appearance Wednesday on three counts of sexual assault based on complaints by two unidentified women, the Toronto Star reported Thursday.

The women, ages 27 and 37, told police they went to Anjomi's hotel room on separate occasions in 2006 for what they thought was personal coaching, after attending one of his $600 seminars, Constable Wendy Drummond said.

It must just be too hot in the world for these dirty old "gurus" now. Anjomi, PrakashakaBoomBoom and Kreepalu should all move to Antarctica, where they can practice their slithering up to each other to their hearts' content, out of reach of any more potential victims.