Godmen Godzillas

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Monster number one:

The Supreme Court accorded 57-year-old Swami Premananda a double life sentence. He was convicted of 13 rapes and a murder in his ashram in Tiruchi. Premananda moved to India in 1984 from Matale in Jaffna. He claims to have discovered his “spiritual powers” at 18 when “a great spiritual vibration entered the prayer room and my white robes slowly turned to orange.”

This is the guy that Benjamin Creme and the Share International fruitcakes favor, not as their Savior, but as someone sympathetic to [read: in cahoots with] their mission of world spiritual domination through the power of their mighty [imaginary] Maitreya and a host of ghosts with only their non-existence to boast.

Monster number two:

A former armyman who spent 14 years in jail for committing three murders, Gnyanachaitanya’s real name is PM Sudhakaran. When the Williamses approached him early last year, he claimed Amanda had been his wife in a previous birth. In a written statement Amanda says, “…if I did not marry him immediately, (he said) our family would have to face the wrath of Lord Shiva.” When Gnyanachaitanya ‘married’ Amanda, his wife Mini was also present at the Mookambika Temple in Karnataka; the couple have six children. Amanda’s complaint to the Malappuram police states that her father paid Rs 15 lakh to the swami, apart from giving him a Tata Safari and several household appliances. She was “sexually abused and tortured, mentally and physically.” She was not allowed to correspond with her family in England. When Gnyanachaitanya was in Mumbai on April 12, she escaped and emailed her father.

First murder and now sexual slavery. Get this guy a few pounds of plutonium so he can realize his goal of perfection in absolute evil.

And lastly, sexy-sexy monster number three:

Such attitudes are an impetus for godmen like Kuchumardhana Swami in Parkal, a village in Warangal. A primary school teacher whose real name is Gottumukala Babu Rao, he was dismissed from service in Karimnagar for misbehaving with girls. In 2002, he moved to Parkal as Kuchumardhana Swami and claimed to have Lord Shiva’s blessings to treat childless women. Ironically, his wife had left the 58-year-old because they could not have children. Kuchumardhana’s modus operandi? Women had to visit him on Mondays and Saturdays to have their breasts massaged.

Breast massages: the next "oneness blessing?"

And all in the same article! Tehelka, we love you.