Monday, March 19, 2007

The Cannibal Christ

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

He's called "Black Jesus" in his native Papua New Guinea. His modus operandi was forcing girls as young as 9-years-old into sex slavery... and then every once in a while he'd eat one of them. Of course, B.J. stayed in business with the usual divine guru propaganda:
Tari, 35, a failed Bible student who claimed he was the "true Christ", had around 6,000 followers and promised his disciples material wealth and religious salvation if they joined his bizarre cargo cult.
With the natives quite naturally disturbed by all this, the cops are having a hard time keeping him alive to face trial. Justice for Black Jesus may come well before the authorities are ever able to get him in front of a judge.


  1. Overheard booming from heaven into Tari's jail cell: "No, no, no, a thousand times no, son, holy communion means that they eat you".

  2. What say we get together and crucify every christ left in the world!

  3. Puky, this guy is not worth dignifying with a crucifixion. He should be castrated and rope drug side by side with Sly Baba!

  4. Hi Chuck! Thanks for the welcome back! :)

    >> What say we get together and crucify every christ left in the world!

    No. Too many Christs. Not enough wood.

  5. Tari, 35, a failed Bible student who claimed...


    What the heck would a successful Bible student be capable of doing? Sorry Pug, I just noticed I credited puky with your brilliant suggestion to crucify all christs in the world. Blade is correct in saying there's not enough wood to do them all since they're multiplying like roaches...