AUM Guru Faces Schizm Along With Gallows

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Wackadoo Gurus

Japan may be about to come to some closure with its own 9/11. Subway-gassing terrorist guru Shoko Asahara is one last appeal away from an execution by hanging.

He couldn't crazy himself out of it, leaving him to deal with the shame of jerking off in front of his daughters. To add to his destitution is the fact that one of his lieutenants is taking half the cult and leaving.

We imagine Asahara is quite ready to drop down the chute after all he's been through. And the people of Japan would not have it any other way.

The saga of AUM and it's psychotically megalomaniacal leader stands as an object lesson in how stupid folks can be in their choice of guru and acceptance of his/her narcissistically-originated incitement to horrible violence. Asahara was the Charles Manson Hitler of Japan. His hanging won't erase the memory of the horrors committed in his name, but let's hope it helps with the healing of those who survived them.

Big (M)Amma Is Coming

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

In the crowded field of Devi pretenders, one woman stands as if on a mountain next to her competitors. We all know who that is...

Set to arrive in just a few days in Seattle, Washington, adults all over the continental U.S. are wetting themselves in anticipation of getting a hug from their glorious "goddess," who will fill their heads with superstitious nonsense as she fulfills her destiny to be mommy to millions who should have already grown up by now.

A hurricane of occluding ideas about self-realization follows her wherever she goes. Her devotees may get a warm fuzzy or two at the satsang, but they leave even farther from their moment of self-discovery than if they'd just dropped $50 grand at the Bunny Ranch.

We liken the last time we got Amma's hug to that time we got a stripper's "hug" at the Crazy Horse Theater. But that's just us. One may have been a wee bit more superficial than the other, but we sure did appreciate that happy ending.

Crazy Pat's Miraculous Feat

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

Examining a Christian fundamentalist preacher, in this case Pat Robertson, is a first for this blog. We normally wouldn't pay him no mind, mostly because he believes he works for the Lord rather than believes he is the Lord. But he's certainly a wacky dude who always seems to be apologizing for saying something stupid or making lame predictions after his little talks with God. He recently revealed that God told him hurricanes and possibly a tsunami would hit the coast of the U.S. this year. Needless to say, a five-year-old with a minimal understanding of meterology could have prognosticated that one.

What put Crazy Pat on our radar was his recent claim to have leg-pressed 2000 lbs. This was apparently made possible by drinking an "age-defying" protein shake made with soy protein isolate, whey protein isolate, flaxseed oil and apple cider vinegar. We're not seeing which of those ingredients would allow an old man to do what some claim is impossible. And as you might expect, it's all a bit dodgey anyway:

One of the photos Vasko released had a digital date stamp of 1994, although she said Robertson performed the leg press in 2003. Vasko said that perhaps the date was not set properly on the camera.

The fact that they didn't tell us about Robertson's Herculean feat when it happened makes it all seem even shadier.

Making claims of superhuman strength has pretty much been the exclusive song and dance of Sri Chinmoy. With Pat stepping up on stage with him, could a rivalry be in the works? If so, it's Chinmoy's turn to impress.

Pat's got a little bit of the Madharishi in him as well, but in reverse. He fully expects the end of the world any day now. You know, Gideon's trumpet blowing, four horsemen destroying. And then Jesus throws Satan into hell and Heaven comes to Earth and Pat gets to hang with the Lord. At that point it becomes as quaint as the Kracki's little 2012 pipe dream.

We don't think so, fellas. Maybe some shit is going to go down, but none of us knows exactly when or how. Poor old Pat seems to be losing his mind over the fact that Revelations ain't quite kicking in. With a mountain of failed predictions piling up in his backyard, perhaps these claims of awesome strength will keep that halo spinning over his head for just a little while longer.

Jewru Sex Scandal Breaks Wide

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong

For some reason, folks seem to come away with the idea that we are anti-guru, and that is just not true. But we are definitely anti-special divinity, the idea that some people – like gurus and fauxvatars – are more divine and magically powerful than anybody else due to their supposedly deep spiritual realization.

For instance, we knew about new age Rabbi Mordechai Gafni's girl troubles last week. We mulled it over and decided not to make it a feature as we concluded it was just some guy, a spiritual teacher in this case, who wasn't in complete control of his desires. The deciding factor was the fact that he and his people don't appear to be claiming he is especially divine, although he is apparently a real good talker.

But the Jewish press picked it up and blew it up. Well-Liked Rabbi Took Advantage Of Young Women. He Is Very Bad Now.

The bottom line is this, folks: human beings are animals with language skills. One can be a complete and free jivanmukta, but that doesn't stop the hormones buzzing in the brain from triggering instinctual behavior that has been painted by man to look like culture. These hormones combined with a lack of lust control, perhaps due to some kind of mental defect, get the best of many male gurus. Gafni's is just one of many, many cases throughout the history of spirituality. He shouldn't have done it, but the fact that he did doesn't mean he's not the same rabbi "whose charisma and brilliance dazzled students and large audiences in spiritual renewal communities."

Unless that rabbi was a fiction. Perhaps he was, but we don't think so. Could he be an unrepentant con man or is he a sincere seeker of the truth who unfortunately allowed his "little head" to do the deciding? Will he be forgiven for these transgressions or will the community he helped create eject him?

Whatever happens, it sure won't be the first time.

Boy Abusing Nazi Guru Gets 20

File under: Gurus Doin' Time

Our favorite Nazi nurse fetishist Paul Schaefer has been handed a 20-year sentence in Chile for diddling young boys at his despotastic private torture resort, Colonia Dignidad.

We imagine Schaefer has managed to ingratiate himself rather well into prison life. His Frau Schaefer Nazi nurse character will probably be quite popular by now and always in demand among the more kinky and sex-starved prisoners. But while we understand Frau S. to be quite the quintessential kitten with a whip, even dominatrixes have to pay the piper every once in a while. We suppose this might involve a dropping-the-soap-type scene with 10 big brutes taking turns on poor Paul's hindquarters. We guess that's the price you pay for popularity in a Chilean prison (and for the 40 years of continuous sexual predation of young boys in Europe and South America.)

Sri Sri Sides With The Rich And Well-Casted

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Sri Sri's March on the Prize

In a move that stands as a black mark against his Nobel Peace Prize chances, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has sided with the monied and high born by standing against admission quotas by caste at Indian universities. It turns out most of India's poor are born into the low castes, leaving very few of them with access to higher education. The "reservation issue" appears to be about preserving a more equitable distribution of India's educational resources. Sri Sri's stand against this precisely mirrors the Republican fight against affirmative action in the States. Not very Nobel behavior if you asked us.

Watch as a PR wizard spins the issue like a top:

"Caste-based reservation will not end disparities in the society. While being born in any particular caste should not be a curse, reverse discrimination is not the way for justice"

Notice Sri Sri's deft use of the term "reverse discrimination." It throws a negative cast on the issue and attempts to turn the blame on the victims of caste discrimination for reversely discriminating against the discriminators.

It's another example of Sri Sri sticking his head in the sand for political benefit. One can only hope the Nobel Prize committee sees how transparently Sri Sri stalks notoriety in the form of the Peace Prize while playing to whatever political wind that blows in India.

TM™ And Fundies To Battle For "Eternal Souls" In KS

File under: PP COM and Wackadoo Gurus

It's being reported in the Detroit Free Press that fundamentalist Christians in the heartland of Kansas are girding to battle TM™ers living in the shadow of the proposed World Capital of Peace:

[The TM™ers] beliefs are "not compatible with Christianity," said Greg Judy of Faith Community Bible Church. He is one of nine pastors who wrote to the editor of the Smith County Pioneer warning that they will compete with what many in the area call "the TMers" for residents' "eternal souls."

With the TM™ers promising a $15 million infusion into the local economy, local politicians like Smith Center, Kansas mayor Randy Archer are sitting on the fence waiting for their cut. Given the notorious history of the Madharishi's overblown visions and grandiose world power schemes, we recommend that the Mayor equip himself with an ample supply of sunscreen for the wait.

Dahn Haked Again

File under: Satscams

Dahn Hak Yoga just can't catch a break in the U.S. anymore. This probably has something to do with the fact they killed one of their instructor-trainees on a forced death march in the Arizona desert last year. That has subsequently made them a primary target of anti-cult investigative reports by many local TV news outlets over the last 6 months.

In this latest report they are referred to as "Dahn Con" and the reporter found a couple of ex-followers to spill the beans:

As advertised, the Dahn centers offer new clients an energy check, like the one our researcher got on Michigan Ave.

A Dahn master pushed her so-called energy centers and found blockages.

"She said that my energy was very weak. I was in danger of falling into a depression," CBS 2 researcher Emily Withrow said.

A former Dahn instructor, who asked that his identity be concealed, says the energy check is a sales gimmick.

"Since everybody has aches and pains everyday, everybody technically has energy blockages," he said

Another ex-follower regrets falling for the flim flam:

Susan Yates went to a Dahn center in Libertyville.

"It's definitely a con," she said.

She realized that after signing contracts for classes and private healing sessions, even buying Dahn gimmicks like vibrating power brains to help healing.

"Eight thousand dollars I spent in a month. I'm embarrassed to say that I did," Susan said.

She says it happened after intense private healing sessions with the school master.

"They get you to share personal information about yourself and they'll use that to basically get you to sign up for more classes," the former employee said.

Yates quit after they wanted her to attend Dahn healer school for another $10,000 "and become healers and give our lives to Dahn."

Eight-grand can buy a lot of medicinal herbs – like a four-year supply. If you asked us, we believe you'd derive much more benefit from a daily dose of Kali Mist than this megalomaniac's quite literal brain-washing respiration exercises.

The Dangers Of Being A Guru

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

It may make you go insane.

Know Your Deeksha Mongerers: Alexis

File under: Satscams

A reader recently alerted us about the existence Livingoneness.com, the website of a single-named deeksha distributor known as Alexis. All the usual nonsense about deeksha being an "energy transfer" and the Kracki's brand of "oneness" can be found there, although Alexis seems to be playing down her connection to Bhagavan Kalki himself, possibly to prevent potential marks from being scared off. Either that or she desires more of the adulation for herself.

What's interesting about Alexis is her very specific attempt to transform uniformed authorities into Krack(i)heads:

She is... focusing on traveling the world with a specific goal of reaching out to very large groups of men & women in uniform as in all levels of Federal, State, Immigration & Municipal Police and FBI, Airport Custom Officials, Airport Immigration Officials, Airport Police and ALL Airport Employees as they receive the Oneness State they will in turn affect millions of people passing thru and using that medium of mobility. Alexis is also focusing on the Political realm on all levels from Presidents, Embassy Officials & Ambassadors, Mayors, and all top Government Officials, as well as all of their Government Employees. And then of course there is lots of time & energy going to the Military beginning with the Army Generals, their Officials and all Soldiers as well as the Navy Admirals, their Officials and all Marines.

Can you imagine a Krack(i)head cop? Or worse yet, a commander on the war on terror?

While we don't agree with the policies of the present administration in the U.S., we sure don't want a bunch of mush-minded Krack(i)heads trying to solve the difficult problems of the world either. If they fell for the nonsense known as deeksha, they would prove themselves to be just as knuckle-headed as the neocons already in power. It would be a difficult choice between the two: rabid, right-wing war profiteers or vapid new age nincompoops. As much as we detest the global war on terror as it is presently being prosecuted, putting Krack(i)heads in charge would be like asking bunny-rabbits to hunt Cape buffalo. Let's all pray for an intermediate solution, like the election of normal folks without the theocratic agendas of the neocons or the Krack(i)heads.

Cooper Keeps 'Em Krack(i)ed Out

File under: Satscams and Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Austin, Texas-based William Cooper is still slanging the Kracki. Unfortunately for him, he appears to be using his own product, because lately, he's convinced he's psychokinetically breaking coffee mugs with the awesome power of his mind.

His latest missive contains the usual anecdotes of his followers' pseudo-spiritual misadventures. And whaddaya know, they now believe they can psychokinetically affect matter as well. It's just one of the ways he keeps 'em on the "pipe" (and keeps that money pipeline open to the big boss, the Bhagavan Kalki in India):

...Regarding 'energy' -- I thought you might be entertained to learn that even my restaurant is experiencing new vibrations -- solid Libby glasses are sliding across guest tables by themselves; even leaning on their sides without falling over... doors hinged open are snapping shut -- emails are multiplying by five when I send them once -- I do not understand all of this stuff yet -- I am just grateful to be on this journey and part of the oneness -- blessings your way and many thanks...

and...

...I understand your mugs exploding -- I have had spells of my radar detector going off in different melodies for an hour at a time while driving along barren country roads (this was after my first session with Gabriella; the weekend I met you both at Jo's) -- and then during my session with Gabriella on Sunday, the mantra kept repeating even though Gabriella had it set the stereo for all CD's to play...

That sure is some good shit being pushed by Cooper. It's called ridiculous-assertion-that-confirms-my-teacher's-nonsense-so-that-he'll-be-impressed-with-my-spiritual-"success". In other words, kids trying to impress "daddy" for his pats on the back. Cooper's doing it for the same reason, only he gets his pats from the big daddy, the fauxvatar Bhagavan Kalki.

That's a part of what spirituality is for these folk, the hunt for self-acceptance by way of the positive mirroring of the guru. All the big time players exploit this phenomenon to populate their satsangs. And some, like the Kracki and his various deeksha scamming minions, squeeze it for every last drop of cash and adulation they can get.

It appears that Freddy Nielsen's defection was just a dead armadillo on the road under the Kracki's 18-wheeler, which is still screaming down the freeway turning minds to mush in his rush to stay rich. It just goes to show there's a sucker born every minute. And apparently in Texas... there's ten.

Another Day, Another Living "Devi"

File under: The Siddhi of PR

In our zeal to identify and make clear the occluding effects of ideas about self-realization, we have memberships on several community boards and email discussion lists. On one of these we recently came to know about Kali Ma Troma Rigstal Khadro. We were immediately struck by the similarities between Kali Ma and SYDA Yoga guru Gurumayi. Both are descended from the Muktananda lineage, although Kali Ma hides this by failing to mention that one of her gurus, Swami Rudrananda, was an acolyte of Muktananda. Both also claim to transmit something called 'siddhi', and both are fairly attractive women who allow themselves to be worshipped as God walking the Earth.

Kali Ma appears to be teaching a kind of spiritual emotionalism throughout Northern California, much like Bhagavan Kalki and his ilk. The idea is to equate self-realization with only positive emotional states like love, and then "teach" people what that "love" would be like. It's a great way to populate your satsang with just the right sort of emotionally needy folks who are looking for a living "God" in their lives.

Of course, Kali Ma can "transmit" this love, but only if you come to the satsang. But don't even think about questioning her or her teachings. You are only a confused student and have no qualification to do so:

The Spiritual Guide IS. And the way IS manifests should not be put up for trial against the jury of the student’s conceptions and confusions. To do so is irrelevant and a way of avoiding doing one’s own inner work. The only way to be in relationship to one’s teacher is to be grateful for whatever the Master reflects towards you, about you or irregardless of you.

Now that she's established that she is perfectly infallible, you should toss the critical thinking and shave your head for even imagining she could ever be wrong about anything.

But not us. Our guru welcomes our challenges with vigor, leaving us with the impression that any true guru should encourage the inquiry afforded to a critical thinker. Little Ms. Kali Ma seems to be of a different class than he, making her not much use as anything other than a propped up Ishta Devata who appears to be enjoying the glories of being a living Devi.

Guru News Roundup

File under: The Siddhi of PR

• Steven Novella of the New Haven Advocate handily debunks JZ Knight's use of quantum mechanics as a cult-recruitment ploy in her film, What The Bleep Do We Know.

• Canadian TM™ers take it to the schools in their attempt to corner the market on mantra meditation, complete with their doctored research and pie-in-the-sky assertions about the efficacy of TM™ as means of supernatural social reform.

• Dahn Yoga takes another hit from a local news org, this time in Connecticut. Will they ever live down the forced death march of one of their students in Arizona last year?

Sri Sri PR Overdrive For 50th

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Sri Sri's March on the Prize

Those busy beavers at the Art of Living PR department have truly outdone themselves for Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's 50th birthday. They've managed to place 3 different articles in the Indian press that are little more than love letters from dazzled, frantic fans. This is what passes for "objective" reporting when talking about bigtime gurus in India:

He is popular both at home and abroad. His charisma flows from his accessibility, unconditional love for all and his simplicity—you feel he is closest to you...

At 50, this tall and handsome spiritual guru has a fan following that will put any film star to shame...

One evening in Satsang, someone asked Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, "Guruji, when is your birthday?" Flashing his famous smile, he replied, "Main tera!" (I am yours).

That last bit is an instant classic. It's something he could say to anything asked as it would likely be heard as profound.

Sri Sri's Peace Prize lust is just beginning to wax. Still going out on tour, still touting himself and still pretending that folks know who he is outside of India; we predict more PR frenzy right up until the Nobel announcement. It looks to be a long, hot summer for the folks in Sri Sri's PR machine this year.

The Madharishi: Losing His Marbles While Bouncing On His Ass

File under: Wackadoo Gurus and The Siddhi of PR

The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his hare-brained Global Country for World Peace org seem to be continuously losing the strands of the thread. This time they've got 400 yogic "flyers" jumping up and down on their asses in an effort to make the Netherlands invincible. Too bad they're about 60 years too late to help Holland against the Nazis, back when they actually could have used a bit of invincibility.

According to the TM™ers, everything good happening in Holland at the moment is the direct result of these folks and their bruised buttocks, including an army base closing, reduced drug use among children, lower fuel prices and a TM™ insider's miraculously improved company operations:

There is more softness in society, more tolerance. Company problems are solved more smoothly. Everything is easier, teamwork is better, and we are more successful. I am astonished about the co-operation and positivity, and the ease with which everything happens. It is so remarkable and persistent that it really stands out. People show things of themselves, which they have never shown before. It looks as if blockades in the brain are eliminated. This is just beginning as something small. But I think that the change will be unprecedented.

Pretty soon they'll be taking credit for safe bus trips and easier bowel movements in addition to these other astonishing developments.

It's just a small sample of the miracles to be wrought by world peace-making. So get to bouncing on that booty, folks. Daddy wants a brand new Porsche.

Upstart Swami Tops The "Great" Adi Da

File under: The Siddhi of PR


Young Swami Vishwananda, looking quite a bit like the young Swami Nithyananda, appears to be kinging "world teacher" Adi Da in this set of posters on a health food deli window in Sausalito, California on Friday, May 12.

Way Alternative Transportation

File under: The Siddhi of PR


A curiously-branded bicycle with a model name perhaps more appropriate for a gay porno star. Seen at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology on Tuesday, May 9.

Matthew Fox On The Guru

FIle under: The Siddhi of PR

Today we discovered an interview with Christian reformist Matthew Fox at Disinformation. Fox has been mixing his spiritual ideologies eclectically since the late 70s, for which he was finally booted out of the Catholic Church in 1991. We were briefly involved in Fox's attempt to innovate a techno-rave liturgy back in our rave evangelist days of the early 90s. Here he talks about the concept of guru as it gets mistranslated into the West:

I eschew guru. Always have. I don't think the guru thing translates healthily into western consciousness. Too many examples of the kind of thing Andrew Harvey suffered. One should never surrender one's intelligence or one's conscience. That is not to say that some of these Eastern teachers are not wise and worthy to learn from. But what I like about the teacher/student relationship is that one can (and ought) to disagree with a teacher. In my book on the Cosmic Christ I point out that the Christ is not just coming but has already come. In all of us, hopefully. But that is our life-long task, to welcome and offer hospitality to the Cosmic Christ in all of us and to learn to recognize it in all things. Christ is the "light in all things" (science now teaches that all atoms contain photons or light waves). (The Cosmic Christ archetype is paralleled in Buddhism by the "Buddha Nature" idea.) Are institutions such as churches a hindrance or a help? That depends on the church, the culture, and the historical moment. When churches get corrupt, as Catholicism is evidently undergoing today, the Christ gets banished. That is why the church is "semper reformanda," "always needing to be reformed." But people need institutions--to come in out of the rain, to gather as a group at times, etc. So it's not so simplistic a thing as" In the church or out of it" as "in a box or out of it." As Leonardo Boff says, the question is: "Are we birthing (healthy) church or not?"

That's why we bailed on the rave experiment, too much emphasis on what we considered to be a dead spiritual ideology. Some of those who moved on became the nucleus of the Rhythm Society, which is probably the first true (transideological) rave church in global history and still thriving in San Francisco, California today.

Rajiv Rah-Rahs Rawat

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Prem Rawat is a captain of the professional "peace" business and his own Gulfstream V execujet. He travels the world offering watered down, pabulicious platitudes about inner peace... for a price. After all, he's got to fuel that jet he's flying everywhere, most recently to the Indian subcontinent, where he appeared with Rajiv Mehrotra on his weekly talk show, In Conversations.

Prem's PR department produces press releases prodigiously which herald every booking. Invariably, the always at capacity crowd ends up deliriously happy as a result of a Maharaji appearance.

Just don't get on his wrong side. He's got an army of lawyers and professional reputation trashers on call to deal with his substantial community of ex-devotees. Last week they managed to get the so-called San Francisco Independent Media Center to label the Ex-Premie Association a "hate group" in their skewed reportage of a Cyber-SLAPP case settled between ex-Premie Marianne Bachers and the Rawat machine, who she sued for cyberstaking and defamation.

Cyberstalking is the new info-terror, an exceedingly easy and effective tactic for a cult interested in suppressing actively dissenting ex-devotees and critics. At least Bachers got them to a draw in her legal battle to end their aggressive smear campaign. We expect to be calling her soon for some advice once the Premies get wind of our little effort here today.

Freddy Takes His Krack(i)

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and Back Room Gurudom

Freddy Nielsen was like a Dick Cheney to the Kracki's George Bush. But then he renounced his office and bailed. Now he's dishing, ferociously. Let the tell-all begin:

I knew that Amma and Bhagavan (A&B) had a gift to share and I gave my life for that.

Fearing broken dreams, I closed my eyes for the shadows. One day the house of cards crumbled down – I saw all the lies, empty promises, exaggerations, fanaticism and greed hidden behind A&B’s well kept façade. I felt I’d been trapped in a religion, maybe even a sect. My trust in A&B and their great plans went away.

For 15 years all over the world I’d been promising people that A&B were the truest and most divine one could imagine. Many believed me and followed my example. I feel it is my responsibility now to inform all these people that I have changed my mind. Not to inspire them to swallow my truth or discovery – it is only beautiful when we discover the truth for ourselves.

Below I will share some of the shadows that I had closed my eyes for. I don’t expect people to believe what has become my own personal insight and I do not claim it to be objective either. But would it be fair to hide it? Probably not – at least not from the people whom I inspired to believe in A&B.

A&B created the "Oneness Movement". Many efforts have been made to make it popular and appealing to modern man; they do much to appear scientific and not as a religion or a sect.

I have seen a lot behind the scenes and what Bhagavan speaks informally to his disciples over the years – I happened to be his first Western disciple, from 1991. I do not share my truth to harm A&B or their followers. If anyone gets helped by what Life or God offer through A&B, that is wonderful. One thing is to get benefited from what A&B offer; but it is another story to become a member of their Movement (or religion).

Here are some "shadows" and/or sectarian elements in A&B’s Movement (in my personal opinion) and things Bhagavan has told in my presence:

•Bhagavan often promises people enlightenment, healing and miracles. In most cases these promises are not fulfilled (Bhagavan often mentions by when it should happen). Disciples usually try to cover up theses lies. Naturally many have become extremely disappointed, depressed or angry.

•They want as many as possible to realize that A&B created this Universe, that A&B are God in flesh and blood, that they are the true saviors of mankind.

•The otherwise kind dasas (A&B’s monks and nuns) mostly speak, think and do exactly what they are told to. They can tell any lie, even straight up in someone’s face, as long as A&B benefit from that lie.

•Many devotees have become fanatics and are prepared to sacrifice all they have, incl. their lives and do absolutely anything for A&B.

•Bhagavan/dasas say that if mankind does not cooperate with A&B, it is likely to soon be the end of the world. Bhagavan once said something like this: "If mankind will not cooperate with me, let it just drown in its own soup of misery".

•Exaggerations are common. In Dec 2003, Anandagiri promised that all on the 21 days courses would get fully enlightened. On a DVD (by M.J.Rabin), Bhagavan told that every participant except 3 got enlightened in the 21 days course (Sept. 2004). Several times, Bhagavan started to give "mass enlightenment" and even declared many enlightened (1993 etc.), until he suddenly changed his mind saying that the real thing will begin later instead.

•Dasas (and many devotees) easily become uneasy when the word "God" is used. Their only focus is on A&B. A Swedish TV star once asked Anandagiri (in July 2002): "What is God for you?", and Anandagiri said: "Bhagavan".

•Not so rarely, especially to disciples or coordinators, Bhagavan has criticized, ridiculed or spoken bad of other spiritual teachers or paths (Osho, TM:s Mahesh Yogi, Gurumayi/Muktananda, Islam etc.) or commented that someone like Ramana Maharshi or Buddha would have needed A&B’s samskarashuddhi treatments to become free from some childhood traumas.

•Bhagavan has often said (in the Dubai Q/A video, etc.) that most dasas are in a divine state hundreds of times higher than enlightened masters like Buddha; some dasas are even (faaaaar?) above the divine Incarnations in history (Krishna, Rama, Christ etc).

* * *

God has been limitlessly generous to me, I have no words to express my gratitude.

Due to God’s Grace, I now see God everywhere – there is only eternity and peace. God has united me with Life and the Source.

I wish you all to unite with the divine – the Source of all life and of all love and joy.

If God wishes for me to share His Grace with other people like I did before, I will gladly accept."

Freddy Nielsen (allinjoy@hotmail.com)
May 4, 2006

What more can be said about that? It's an absolute cesspit of stinking, occluding nonsense over there at Oneness U. God bless Freddy N. for seeing it, leaving it and telling us about it, although it seems he may try to start his own deeksha scam and thus attract our ire at a later date. But for now, let's celebrate this magnificent accounting of the egregious snow job known as "deeksha" and its leading con man, Kalki Bhagavan.

Pogo Gogo Disciple

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Meet Ashrita Furman. He holds the world record for holding the most world records:

In the last 30 years, Furman has climbed Mount Fuji on a pogo stick. He has somersaulted the entire length of Paul Revere's ride. In Cancun, Mexico, he played 434 games of hopscotch in 24 hours. He ran seven miles in Cairo while balancing a pool cue on his finger. And in 2002, the Guinness company invited him to London, to set his 100th record: spinning a 16-foot-diameter hula-hoop around his waist three times.

What got into him to do all that, you ask? A world record breaking guru, of course:

His talent and inspiration, he said, comes from a spiritual quest for joy that began under Indian guru Sri Chinmoy's tutelage in 1970. When Furman tells his story, his face takes on a childlike animation; his eyes sparkle as he remembers the day he realized his dream.

We guess that must have been to become an obsessive fitness freak, because no matter how many world records one may possess, it all has as much to do with the truth of the Self as our dog's ass.

Frankly, we're a bit shocked Chinmoy let his devotee blow him away in the spiritual he-man category. Perhaps Ashrita is being groomed for Chinmoy's sweat pants after the old man lifts that last barbell. We suggest Ashrita wash them before putting them on. Chinmoy's been known to have been dirty in them more than once.