Ramdev Revs Up PR Apparatus

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Both are coming straight out of India like the Jay-Z and P. Diddy of freeze-dried, reconstituted yoga. But up to this point, it was Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's superior PR spawning facility that kept him in the world news while Swami Ramdev languished out of the limelight, except for that time he got rancorous on a politician who debunked his "medicines," as well as on an apparently innocent student reporter accused of being a terrorist for perhaps asking the wrong questions.

But now it seems Ramdev has taken up the gauntlet thrown down by that white-robed pretender who is wantonly lustful for a Nobel Peace Prize. The result has been a lot more visibility for Ramdev's Western ambitions. First there was the news of his visits to the United Kingdom, New York and New Jersey, and now his latest press release, heralding an upcoming trip to Canada, has drawn the attention of not less than 6 newspapers with websites in India, according to Google News.

It's perhaps not quite the reach Sri Sri's proliferate propaganda seems to have, but it's certainly a step up for Ramdev in our eyes. And speaking of eyes, could there be another epic eyeball lightning battle brewing here? Ramdev certainly has the rancor for it, but does Sri Sri? He has been successful at hiding his shadow from the eyes of the world so far. His softly said sweet nothings are completely devoid of anything that could be called jnana, but it does give the impression he's always about to step off a cloud, at least if you're a rube who's fallen for the act.

But if Ramdev makes a move for the golden ring of that Nobel Peace Prize, all bets will most certainly be off. It could be the granddaddy UFC octagon of all eyeball lightning battles.

Consider our fingers crossed.

Swami Nity Hits Berkeley

File under: Satsang Report

In another stunning failure due to our addiction to the worldwide scourge of celebrity gossip, we completely missed this satsang report filed by ex-Muktananada disciple Stuart Resnick on SYDA guru Gurumayi's long-exiled brother, Swami Nityananda:

Nity sat up on throne in his swami costume and all, but there was only a shadow of the "we're in the presence of the Supreme Lord, Omygawd!" atmosphere that there was in Baba's day. I wonder how much of the difference was external and how much was the change in my own perception. In any case, all the talk etc was about how cool and great Baba was; it doesn't seem that Nity is encouraging that much glorification of himself.

But could he still be a repudiating-cultivating space-daddy like the just-a-letter-h-away Nithyananda? Maybe:

Nity's talk was kind of nice-sounding empty spiritual stuff. He did start out by quoting some scripture about how it's impossible to achieve the natural state without the guru's grace. Told a story about greatness of guru's grace. It was all kind of silly and meaningless. What does this have to do with real life? It's just something to make you feel good for a while when you think about it. And I think that's what people were looking for.

That sounds like some big-time maneuvering to us, in a you-can't-do-it-without-the-likes-of-me kinda way. That's S.O.P and right out of the big-time guru's playbook.

But at least Nity didn't ham it up as much as his satellite TV-transmitting sister did back in the day.

Worthy Of The Wall

File under Notable Quotes

Stuart Resnick had to know this sentence would be featured today:

If the mind is clear, then all these satsangs and gurus are great teachings (almost as great as the barking of a dog!). If the mind wants something, then all gurus speak demon words, and even Buddha can't help you.

What does this mean for us? We obviously want something, which is to see these big-gurus quit with their occluding public relations schemes. Yet it's because there's this hole in our head that we can see how far off they can be from the truth. We suppose that puts us somewhere in-between clear and wanting mind (like maybe... drug damaged?)

Shining On The World Of Neo-Advaita

File under: Gurubusting

Today we endured a gentle slap from a reader named Gregory. But then he turned us on to shiningworld.com, which is the work of one James Swartz, a guy seemingly as fed up as we are with all the nonsense the big-time gurus keep trying to shove up our asses:

I'm still paying off my Visa for all the weekend enlightenment intensives I've taken the last few years. And it so happens that everyone I've met who has had an awakening has fallen back to sleep, myself included. Maybe you'd like me to become a 'devotee' of one of the recent crop of avatars? Don't bother. Avatars are a dime a dozen it seems. Every person with a couple of epiphanies under his or her spiritual belt is an an avatar these days. I also hope you're not going to try to sell me on tantra. I fell for that in India in the Eighties and all I got for my trouble was veneral disease, a lot of heartbreak and a unholy cravng for sex. And for God's sake don't tell me there is someone out there who can 'transmit' enlightenment at will; if that were possible the whole world would be enlightened by now. I've been blessed with more than my share of shaktipats, satoris, epiphanies, and fleeting samadhis direct from the third eyes of all the so-called 'great masters'... and I still don't know who I am. Finally, if you ask me to 'surrender' I may become violent; it's one of the most despicable cons in the guru's bag of tricks.

We likey, especially the part about that falsehood known as the transmission of enlightenment.

James seems like our kind of guy at first glance. Please let us know if you find anything contrary to the stated goals and principles of this outfit.

Souljerky Eats Our Brain (And We Like It)

We're presently in a state of bedazzlement after having a look at Spiros Antonopoulos' Souljerky blog. (We have to admit – and are inappropriately unashamed – that our fascination with celebrity gossip sometimes keeps us from what we should be reading.)

First off is a riff on zombies and yoga by way of Gp pal Doug Rushkoff. There's also a link to our bit on Erik Davis' somewhat rosy exploration of Ammachi in Salon. [Note to Spiros: I wasn't misunderstood, just not understood the way I hoped to be.]

And then there's this thing about Daniel Pinchbeck. While we can't say we know a whole lot about Pinchbeck, we hear he's all about crazy, South American jungle drugs and 2012, the next big Harmonic Convergence. In other words, more mass hysteria and a big fat bust.

We just can't get on board the whole DMT-as-the-doorway-to-the-future thing, despite our somewhat checkered past as a proponent of psychedelic urban shamanism. As is common in the post-psychedelic community, it seems that Pinchback is confusing his inner psychological metaphors for the literal psychic truth in us all.

We suppose that's what a prophet does, but the sheer hegemony of the idea of 2012 in the modern spiritual community is its own refutation. We're as far from being a historian as we are the king of Nepal, but we feel rather confident that you will not find a historical precedent for what these folks are raving about, making it seem much more about shared hope (or desperate hopelessness) than anything that could be called likely, or even less than probable.

But support for the upcoming Mayan misfire notwithstanding, Souljerky has certainly raised the bar for commentary on yoga and self-realization culture in our eyes, making us feel like maybe we've got more than a little catching up to do to keep up.

SYDA Invades The Blogosphere

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Gp reader Ram Blogwallah notes a proliferation of blogs authored by SYDA higher-ups:

Not only did Gurumayi Chidvilasananda set up her own blog, but apparently she seems to have asked one of her key teaching minions, a Swami Vasudevananda, to set up one as well.

They must really be bothered by the whole Marta Szabo "Guru Looked Good" blog. Makes me wonder when it's going to stop... Check out the below:

http://swamivasudevananda.blogspot.com/

It would be appreciated if the public could be warned about this kind of action so that unwitting spiritually-minded people don't get suckered in by such response tactics.

We guess RB is no fan of SYDA. While we probably share an intense disliking of how Gurumayi has presented herself, this writer knows of at least two SYDA success stories... beside the hundreds of complaints put up on the Internets by the seemingly sizable ex-SYDA community.

With the brother whom she betrayed coming up hard in the States, all while usurping the closely-held legacy of SYDA's founder, Baba Muktananda, Gurumayi has probably realized that she'd better get on the stick before she ends up stuck on the pot.

Could we be looking at a interfamilial eyeball lightning battle some time soon? That possibility has us as tickled as we'd be for a free, all-night session with three goddesses at the Bunny Ranch.

Sri Sri's Latest PR Assault & Amma's Anti-Feminism

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and The Siddhi of PR

The Art of Living's crack PR squad somehow got Reuters news agency to release another toilet bowl's worth of propaganda to the world press. This particular piece, trumpeting Sri Sri's efforts to create customers from the citizens of the Arab world, including – it was breathlessly noted – 50 people hand-picked from Iraq. The story was picked up by no less than 12 different news organizations today.

It's the usual AoL PR pabulum pimping Sri Sri to the high heavens as the neatest thing since holes in donuts. It just goes to show that a shrewd business sense, long black hair, a beard and flowing white robes worn by a monster of self-aggrandization is just about all you really need to be regarded as a saint by the media these days.

In other news, Amma has come out against admittance restrictions in Hindu temples... except the one temple that won't allow women between the ages of 10 and 50:

'With regard to entry of women of all age groups to Sabarimala, I would like to reserve my comments because if I make any statement then I would be branded a feminist,' Amma, as she is popularly known, told reporters here at her ashram.

Way to stand up for your gender, lady.

The real reason Amma won't comment on this issue is because it would enrage her supporters in the Hindu version of the Ku Klux Klan, known in India as the RSS. Allegedly, many RSS members are also members of her ashrams. It's a smart political move for the professional hugger, but once again exposes the utter hypocrisy of her movement in India, where she is much closer to a Hindu version of Pat Robertson than a white-robed Oprah.

TV Station's Cannon Aimed At Master Charles

File under: Gurubusting, Hands Where They Don't Belong, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Fantasy apparition-employing fauxru Master Charles Cannon has been keeping himself in the local news in Virginia with his "Blessed Mother" scam. Now, a Charlottesville, VA, TV station news department is looking to dig up some dirt:

***WCAV WOULD LIKE TO DO ANOTHER STORY ON SYNCHRONICITY. IF YOU WERE EVER A MEMBER OF THE ORGANIZATION AND ARE WILLING TO GO ON CAMERA TO TELL YOUR STORY ABOUT YOUR POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO INTERVIEWS@WCAV.TV.***

Master Charles was once Swami Vivekananda in the employ of the little girl diddling Baba Muktananda:

Ex-devotees told Rodarmor that Muktananda used a specially built table at the South Fallsburg ashram for his sexual encounters, that in India he had a habit of visiting the girls' dormitories at night, and that it was his custom to bestow gifts of money and jewelry on young women whom he summoned to his room. (If a young woman suddenly appeared wearing new jewelry, the ex-devotees said, it was understood that she had been tapped by the guru.) Michael Dinga, an Oakland contractor and a former SYDA Foundation trustee and devotee, who was in charge of construction at South Fallsburg for many years but became disillusioned and left SYDA in 1980, told Rodarmor that "it was supposed to be Muktananda's big secret, but since many of the girls were in their early to middle teens, it was hard to keep it secret."

Charles also hooked up with two other ex-SYDA swamis to form a Three Stooges of enlightenment a few years back. And based on some of the comments about him on the WCAV website, it could be that MC has been playing rather loose with the T(ax) C(ode). He also appears to have had some trouble keeping his hands from where they don't belong.

It looks like MC better get with the BM and have her KO the TV ND that's gunning for him now. We're looking forward to reporting just what they turn up in their investigation.

Cosmic Connie Kicks 'Em In The Can

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Guruphiliac pal Cosmic Connie writes for the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry about that disc full of half-baked, lame-brained, superstitious claptrap, The Secret:

Although The Secret producers advertised the DVD as revealing the ultimate wisdom of the ages – everything anyone needs to know to put LOA to work – it seems that there are still more “secrets” in the offing. In addition to the new and improved version of the original DVD, an upcoming sequel will take people to “the next level.” Yes, there is always a “next level,” and yet another “next level,” and there always will be until a new “ancient secret” comes along. For now there’s the book, a companion workbook, an audio CD featuring music from the DVD…and on and on.

C.C.'s got your number, Byrne & Company. Please click on over to read her excellent analysis and debunking of yet another in that very long line of New Age™ scams which reflect the exceedingly greedy (and still, utterly ignorant) age in which we live today.

Mamma Gets Another Whitewash

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

CNN has just designated itself an official Ammachi hagiography supplier with this puff piece about the so-called "hugging saint." We blame the sad state of affairs that presently mires big media in the West for this latest piece of suck up journalism. Just think of a police department that is in business to aid and abet criminals, and you get the general idea. [Ed.note: From what we can tell, that sounds like a lot of police departments in India, as well as sounding quite a bit like the current executive branch of the U.S. government.]

What that means is: no discussion of Amma's involvement with rabid, racist, rightist nationalists in India, no discussion of her New Delhi ashram's love of violence, and little discussion of the millions of dollars she brings in and exactly where it all goes.

It's all just more of the same boilerplate about hugging and motherhood, and a nice, tidy denial about her own supposed divinity:

Although Amma shies away from describing herself as psychic or magical, some followers think she is divine.

That's because Ammachi is a repudiator-cultivator space-mommy. She denies her divinity while she has every single person who works for her promoting it instead. She gets to appear humble and enjoy the benefits of being seen as a living goddess.

It's just too bad most of her devotees are getting jammed up the ass with useless, superstitious nonsense about their own nondual truth. She may know very well how to act holy, but when it comes to the meat of being a guru – dispelling the darkness of delusion – she may as well be the captain of her own international streetlight demolition team.

Worthy Of The Wall

File under: Notable Quotes

Esteemed commenter Chuck defends the divine Twinkie:

The Twinkie is a symbol of--nay a manifestation of the pure knowledge of Divinity within the Human Heart which has been sufficiently softened by the trials and tribulations of Life!

A more beautiful simile for the truth of the heart (not to mention, Twinkies) has not ever been written.

Father Yod Gets Our Nod

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Folks came together in Los Angeles recently to celebrate the publication of a book about the "Source," the hippified commune which constellated around one Father Yod. He was the apparently benign leader of a polyamorous cult full of hot, sexy people who used the heavenly herb as a sacrament. That's three marks on the right side of the pros/cons column in our book:

Imagine your fantasy commune, the one you'd find only in the movies, where everyone is young and beautiful; the clothes are fabulous; the leader benign; and home is a mansion in the Hollywood Hills. Chances are it probably looks a lot like the Source Family, whose 140 members "dropped out" right in the middle of Los Angeles. Led by a bearded, hunky, 6-foot-3 former war hero who called himself Father Yod and, later, YaHoWha, this vibrant group of men and women embarked on a wild social experiment, turning all their material possessions over to the group and supporting themselves serving gourmet vegetarian cuisine at their popular Sunset Strip restaurant, the Source. Living communally in a Los Feliz mansion owned by the Chandler family (former owners of this newspaper) and then in a house built by Catherine Deneuve, many of them formed polyamorous relationships; not surprisingly, the most extreme example was Father Yod, who took 14 "spiritual wives."

Sigh! We missed out on that one as it was about a decade before our time. But chances are we would have been spit out like a worm in a bite of an apple had we set about to remove the occluding ideas about self-realization which almost certainly condensed around the self-proclaimed deity who ran the show.

Sri Sri's Twinkie Wisdom A Hit In L.A.

File under: The Siddhi of PR

"Guru offers simple advice for a complicated world." The headline would have been more accurate if it read: Guru seeks self-aggrandizment by offering advice that could have been designed by simpletons.

For instance: "He is known for tossing out pithy remarks such as: 'Truth is spherical.' " What's spherical is Sri Sri's head up his ass, because that statement means absolutely nothing on its own, outside of his desire to sound profound for the rubes who are fooled by the white-robed holiness act.

Because that's all it is, an act. All the peace and love pabulum is simply a sugar coat on the viral code of his ego, which he seeks to inject in those stupid enough to believe he's anything other than a slick salesman for himself.

L.A. is a fecund field for a spiritual flimflammer like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. The Los Angeles Basin probably has more need per square mile than any other place on the planet. It's the perfect territory for a new space-daddy to flash his smile and speak in platitudes which are devoid of anything that could be called real wisdom, while still full of all the empty calories you can find in any Hostess Twinkie at the 7-11.

L.A., you now have your new Twinkie guru.

Very Minor Victory For Amma-Violence Victims

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Amma's Goongate

We're a little late in reporting this, but one of the Green Avenue residents has informed us that the local cops have climbed out of Ammachi's breast pocket long enough to enforce the local community sign covenant in the suburb of New Delhi, India that saw a bus load of iron bar-wielding goons tear through the neighborhood last April:

But for one small direction board to the Amma Ashram, all the illegitimate boards have eventually been removed/got removed. The M.C.D.(Local Municipality) did enforce the law, albeit late.

Let us hope and pray that good sense prevails upon the ungodly men of the Delhi Mata Amritanandmai Ashram and nothing untoward happens again.

It kinda has us wondering, where is the good sense their Mamma was supposed to be bestowing upon them at her ashram? Or perhaps it was Mamma's "good sense" that sent them on a riotous mission in a murderous frenzy in the first place...

Worthy Of The Wall

File under: Notable Quotes

A new commenter named Jeff has arrived:

The path to communion with the Divine is littered with boons and traps, and it is ultimately left to the seeker to discern which is which. For ultimately the experience of Oneness is the dissolution of all else - the seeker can become just as easily trapped in either or both.

Miracles, phenomena - they are neither the harbinger of the Divine experience, nor the vehicle to the Divine experience. The reported experiences of others are simply that and nothing more. The role of guru is to raise the disciple above him or herself on the ladder to God, not to keep them bound in obeisance or servitude.

Shaktipat is a flashy trick, but ultimately is a useless and irresponsible endrun around the natural and timely process of kundalini awakening - even moreso in the absence of the structure and guidance necessary to ensure correct and harmonious process.

But likewise don't fall into the similar trap of judgment and dismissal of those who seek to 'lead' through manipulation and glamour - they, too, serve as milestones and provide many lessons on the path to the ultimate Self Realization.

Our way of saying that is: even very bad gurus can work great for good devotees. But that doesn't mean we can't label them as 'bad' anyway. Our beef with the myth-enshrouded big-time gurus is simple: they provide a false impression of self-realization. Now it's true that every impression of self-realization is false, so what these gurus should be doing is disabusing folks of the very myths they instead promote about themselves.

All in all, it's pretty f'ed up, because these myth-impelled false impressions prevent self-realization. They are memes which infect the mind and obscure inner truth, rather than leading to it, until one finally gets wise and drops all that nonsense.

So, while we take Jeff's words as sage counsel, we'll keep trying to entertain you by hitting ourselves with a hammer over and over as we take our teaspoon to the ocean of ignorance that is otherwise known as spiritual culture.

Gurumayi Found On The Interwebs

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Sometimes we monitor our traffic referrals just to see where y'all are coming from. Most of you turn up after a Google search on this or that guru. And quite a number of you get here by using the search term: "where is Gurumayi?"

Well, search no more. A reader named Ram Blogwallah turns us on to the online debut of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda:

A Siddha Guru is a spiritual teacher, a master, whose identification with the supreme Self is uninterrupted. The unique and rare quality of a Siddha Guru is his or her capacity to awaken the spiritual energy, kundalini, in seekers through shaktipat.

So far, it's all the same rock-hard boilerplate of SYDA yoga, all designed to have you chanting the Guru Gita at a TV screen image like it was God Herself via satellite.

It's all distressingly boring, and despite the fact that Gurumayi was the hottest female guru to grace the face of this planet since Anandamayi Ma, there really isn't much to see here, if she in fact wrote any of it.

But regardless of who penned this crap, it's seems to be a clear step toward the reactivation of her satsang. Not a good thing to our mind, or to those who belong to the substantial community of her disgruntled ex-devotees.

Yogic Flailing

File under: Satscams


These TM™ dupes believe they are flying. That's kinda like calling a ride on your bike to the corner store to pick up some beers the equivalent of a trip into orbit on the space shuttle.

[Link via BoingBoing]

A Kreepalu Antidote

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Satscams

It appears that some of Kreepalu's victims are getting organized:

Please join this Yahoo group if you are an ex-JKP or ISDL member and wish to share your story. Anonymity is utmost, [but you] might want to make a new false Yahoo id to join, just to keep us feeling safe. The board will be heavily moderated to keep out the spying eyes of the organization. Blessings to all you brave souls, and please join and share. Thank you.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exisdljkp/

Unfortunately, there is no good way to spy which eyes are spying, although keeping the Kool-Aid from spilling about should be a lot easier.

Lama Thunderdolt

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Today we came to know of Lama Thunderbolt, a motion picture and testament to the narcissism of Max Christensen. Max's dad was allegedly dosed with Agent Orange, and Max was supposedly struck by lightening as a child. As the result of these events, we're expected to believe that he's now a magical being with all kinds of awesome powers:

Knowing the significance of what had happened, Master Wu Xiao Deng took Max to downtown Detroit to observe people. He'd met many people prior to this, but was surprised to find that he was now able to see "the face behind" the face they presented. He could see the hidden pain and suffering that most humans carry and was overcome with compassion. It was at that point that he decided to take the Bodhisattva vow, an agreement with the divine, dedicating his life to helping others.

Once again, the subjective musings of a mind convinced of its own "magic" are foisted upon us as some kind of divine intervention, rather than as the symptoms of the psychopathology known as self-aggrandizing gurudom.

Of course, the world is full of folks who will flock to this fool. With so many expecting so much, Lama Dorje is sure to continue to manifest as many miracles as there are dupes willing to believe in them.

The Babaster's Karmic Disaster

File under: Hands Where They Don't Belong and Satscams

Our pals at Sai Baba EXPOSED share the sad story of what appears to the author as a karmic reckoning:

Now [Sai Baba] is reduced to a gibbering, senile, drooling, old fool, in a pathetic condition in full view of the world. He is dependent on his staff even for eating food, going to the toilet etc, what a cruel fate he has invited upon himself. His situation is so pathetic that he has asked his devotees to pray for him and also conduct healing yagnas etc.

It appears we'll soon be free of the handsy-with-the-young-boys flimflammer. We look forward to the whole truth coming out in the aftermath of his expiration.

Worthy Of The Wall

File under: Notable Quotes

This anonymous commenter knew which button to push:

I have nothing wrong with people astral travelling to the moon or back in time or whatever, so long as they acknowledge that it has as much to do with comprehending ultimate reality and "the laws of nature" as watching TV does.

Harry Maharishi

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

The perpetual lie that TM™ sells:

Students learn to master the laws of nature through the Transcendental Meditation and TM-Sidhis Program, including Yogic Flying.

The decrepit old coot may think he's a wizard, but anyone with half a brain knows he's been pissing into a hurricane the entire time he's been trying to get his "Age of Enlightenment" scheme off the ground.

Maharishi Slinks Back Into the U.K.

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus

You may remember a few years back when that mad old coot in Holland got even more crazy than usual and pulled his "blessings" from the whole country of the United Kingdom when they re-elected Tony Blair, making one of the most grandiose statements we've ever heard any guru make in the process:

“TM™ is a gift from me to those who want to create peace and harmony in the world.”

Well apparently, it's all good now:

The trigger for Maharishi to reopen his organisation in Britain came when he heard a review of the policies of the new Prime Minister, Mr Gordon Brown, and his Government. These included the fact that one of the first measures introduced by Mr Brown was to initiate a change of Parliamentary procedures so that the Commons has a formal say on the deployment of Armed Forces abroad, so that the Prime Minister could not unilaterally take the country to war.

Way to put the spin on the fact that TM™ needs access to as many rubes as possible, including those who elect political leaders who wouldn't pay the Maharishi any mind were he to lead the London Philharmonic in a rousing rendition of God Save The Queen in the middle of the freeway.

But as ever, that little old, shriveled up monument to irrelevance is still as grandiose as any mental hospital inmate who believes he is Napoleon:

Maharishi emphasised that he did not want it to go down in history that his Movement had fed the destroyers of the world. At that time, Maharishi was adopting countries that were more positive in order to make them invincible – totally immune to negative – through the application of his scientifically validated programme to enhance positive trends in society

Instead, he will go down in history as that greedy, grandiose and utterly ineffectual liar about the so-called effects of his facilely reconstituted "Vedic" nonsense who had a few weeks being famous when he stuck his head up the ass of the Beatles in the late sixties.

[Source: TM-Free Blog]

Worthy Of The Wall

File under: Notable Quotes

"Bite Me" Betty has been hanging around the comment sections of this blog off and on for about a year or so, and she clearly has something to say above and beyond her usual retort, as evidenced by this statement:

Saints are generally made "perfect" by the passage of time and by the imaginations of people who want to believe somebody else can do their inner work for them or give them something--like money, relationships, children or health.

A true saint will never be "perfect", neither will they pretend to be god, demand money for their teachings or for darshan, have sex with children, molest women, enslave their followers with fake beliefs of any kind.

She took those words right out of our mouth and arranged them in a way that pretty much states the whole reason this blog exists. We'll bite Betty anytime she wants.

Dera Baba Goes From Pot To Flame

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and The Siddhi of PR

Gurmit Singh Ram Rahim really blew it when he dressed like one of the fathers of Sikhism. Folks in the Punjab take their patriarchs' fashion very seriously, throwing the Baba into a world of legal hurt and a lot of hot water.

Well, the Baba just went from the boiling pot directly into the flame. Busting for disturbing the sentiments of the Sikhs after widespread riots broke out as a result of his sartorial stunt, the guy is now facing rape and murder charges:

Ranjit Singh, who at one time was a senior dera member, was shot dead when it was discovered that he had submitted some information to the then Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee relating to the Dera Chief molesting and raping his sister, who too was a follower of the dera. In addition, the CBI also included 10 other testimonies and some forensic science evidence that suggests that the revolver used in Ranjit Singh’s murder belonged to Kishan Lal, a senior official of the Dera.

The other murder case in which Gurmeet Ram Rahim’s name is included is that of Sirsa-based journalist Ram Chander Chatterpatti. Chatterpatti was murdered after he published details of the wrongdoings of the Dera Chief. This case also includes proof against other Dera cult leaders as well.

The third case of sexual harassment and rape is the strongest in respect to the evidence as one 33 year old “Sadhvi” personally testified in front of the CBI and alleged that the Dera Chief had personally molested her in 1999. According to the testimony of “Sadhvi,” the Dera Sacha Sauda headquarters in Sirsa is home to hundreds of women followers and from time to time, the Dera Chief abuses them to fulfill his lustful desires.

Hey, he sounds just like our pal Kreepalu!

It's hard to see exactly what is going on here. The Baba is either getting railroaded by a Punjabi bullet train, or he's a major contender for the title of the creepiest and most criminal guru out there. Perhaps it will come out in the trial, although his chances of getting a fair one in a state that arrested him for dressing to impress seem pretty limited, if they even exist at all.

BREAKING: Sri Sri Kowtows To Kreepalu

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

A reader just spilled the beans on who Sri Sri Ravi Shankar really looks up to:

I was initially involved with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. He has stated that Jagatguru Maharaj ji is the supreme spiritual master. I had trust in Sri Sri's opinion, so I decided to meet [Kreepalu] personally. He is now my master too and I am glad.

Maybe Sri Sri admires Kreepalu because he's known to be a stone cold playa' who's nabbing the tail right and left as he skates on felony criminal charges. In any case, it's nice to see that Sri Sri uses the same flavor of Kool-Aid that Kreepalu uses. Between the two of them, a goodly portion of the guru-following masses in India can now rest easy in the knowledge that they will never come to self-realization by believing in either of these flimflamming fame hogs.