Guruphiliac: January 2008

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Ramtha's Scham Of Enlightenment

File under: Gurubusting, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

JZ Knight is either a typically lame woo-woo woman who's fooled herself and millions of others into believing she's some kind of 35,000-year-old badass warrior guru, or she's an as-sharp-as-a-sushi-knife con woman enjoying the good life, scot-free as she surfs on the spectacular ignorance of her students.

But lately, those Atlantian waters have been a little rough for the former manicurist turned super-rich New Age™ profitess. To protect that profit, Knight is suing another local woo-woo guru for biting her style. Every con has got to protect their cash cow:
School founder JZ Knight, through the school's corporate arm, JZK Inc., has sued another Thurston County spiritual teacher, WhiteWind Weaver, for allegedly stealing Knight's ideas and Ramtha's teachings and using them in her own workshop. Weaver heads Art of Life Coaching, a personal growth program based in Lacey and Rainier. A four-day trial is set to begin March 10 in Thurston County Superior Court.
How quaint: two completely wacked, fully-deluded, self-proclaimed New Age™ guruesses giving each other the business in court. We wish we could be there.

Like all good bad gurus, Knight seems to be acquiring a vocal ex-devotee community as well. Hers is called Life After Ramtha School of Enlightenment, and it seems they didn't cotton to Knight's end times wackidoodleness:
"At one point I was running around scared I was going to get eaten by the lizard people," he said.

He said that in the early 1990s, he was "brainwashed" by the school's teachings into believing that the ancient figure Jehovah would return to earth in a spaceship, accompanied by a reptilian entourage.

The "lizard people" were said to feast on human prey who did not fall under Ramtha's protection, he said.
The fact that JZ Knight knows jack-shit about enlightenment probably factors in there somewhere as well.

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Maharishi Not So Crazy After All?

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Received from a regular commenter who lives in India:
someone here yesterday told me that the video from the jan 8 talk showed maharishi with tears, expressing his sorrow at failing to accomplish his job. said there are some emails floating around about this.
If this is true, then the little old coot who couldn't save the world at least has the insight to see this truth. This would be in direct conflict with the TM™ propaganda, which has the Maharishi as happy as any nutbag who lives in an envelope of his own grandiosity.

We'd like to think the old man has at least enough sense to see that the whole entire enterprise of TM™ has been a sham from the start. Perhaps he does, but has been moved "out of the way" by forces within his own org to suit their own nefarious ends. Could TM™ be the Scientology of the Vedic wisdom set?

Update: Our expert on all things TM™ chimes in with his assessment:
I seriously doubt this report. All my sources say he essentially declared victory and went home. If anyone turns up a link to this reported video, please send me an email at I'll post the link on

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Instant Hagiography

File under: The Siddhi of PR

You might think there are TM™ plants working at the Associated Press after reading this bit of hagiography. But fear not, kind readers. We are here to parse this starchy whitewash attempting to pass for international reporting:
THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — It was 1967 and the Indian meditation guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, dressed in white with long flowing black hair and a gray beard, beamed as he stood surrounded by four smiling young Beatles at the peak of their popularity.
Right before they saw another side to the man that would cause them to flee.
George Harrison, clutching a sitar, John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were on their way to a retreat in Wales led by the Maharishi, and the Hindu holy man was on his way to worldwide fame.
Soon afterward, they would write the song Sexy Sadie to commemorate the Maharishi's putting the moves on Mia Farrow.
It has been more than 50 years since the Maharishi began teaching a technique known as Transcendental Meditation. He is now believed to be 91 and on Tuesday, a close adviser said he has retreated into near silence and turned over the day-to-day running of his global network to aides.
Successfully selling sand at the beach for more than 50 years!
"He is not as young as he once was," adviser John Hagelin, an American physicist, said by telephone from the Dutch village of Vlodrop where the TM movement is now headquartered. "I think he probably has a more limited reserve of physical energy to draw upon. He was working ... 20 hours a day for years."
Sounds pretty manic to us. It explains a lot. Delusion is quite the activity driver when it's coupled with grandiosity. Believe us, we know.

Good thing Hagelin has those physics degrees. No wonder he was able to ascertain that the 91-year-old guru "is not as young as he once was."
"Anger, stress, tension, depression, sorrow, hate, fear — these things start to retreat," said Lynch, a longtime practitioner. "And for a filmmaker, having this negativity lift away is money in the bank. When you're suffering you can't create."
Many famous artists maintain their creating to be entirely the product of their suffering.
The attention his famous followers focused on the Maharishi's movement turned it into a global phenomenon with outposts in some 130 countries. For the last 17 years, he has run it from a former Franciscan monastery in a secluded forest near Vlodrop, an eastern Dutch village near the German border. He often spent hours on end speaking by video links to followers around the globe.
Babbling. Another sign of mental illness.
The Maharishi told senior aides at a Jan. 8 meeting in the Netherlands of his plan to withdraw from administrative duties and spend his time absorbed in the ancient Indian texts that underpin his movement. The announcement caught many followers off guard.
They were too busy taking in the sights on the primrose path.
"He had been involved very dynamically administratively in his worldwide movement for over 50 years, so it's quite a significant change to see him dive back purely into knowledge and let other people take care of the administration," Hagelin said.
It's too bad you never got the loon in front of a psychiatrist.
There is no one designated successor but many people have been trained for years to carry on the Maharishi's various tasks, Hagelin said.
Uh-oh! We're getting a signal in our third eye! We're seeing a dramatic power struggle in the future.
The Maharishi — a Hindi-language title for Great Seer — now spends his days in silence contemplating and preparing a commentary on the Vedas, a vast Sanskrit canon compiled some 3,500 years ago, from which he evolves solutions for today's troubled world.
This is the Associated fucking Press, people!
"I think everybody's quietly feeling some sense of celebration that he's finally going to complete his commentary on the Vedas, which probably will have a longer-term impact," Hagelin said. "It's a vitally important body of literature."
It's 99% ancient myth, for Christ's sake! 91-years-old and the guy has still got a psychotic woodie for the Vedas.

We're sure the TM™ PR-machine is jumping for joy over this abortion of critical journalism. It has the sound of something written well before its publication, like maybe it was going into the obit and ended up a retirement announcement instead. Either way, it's distressing (maybe we need to hand over $5000 to buy our own sand at the beach) to see the hagiographic process in full gear – by an international news organization – well before the grandiose guru makes it to his own grave.


TM™'s Old Coot Steps Down, Still Delusional

File under: Satscams

The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, still erroneously thought of as the guru to the Beatles, has handed the reins of the TM™ movement to one of his fake kings and has stepped off, still out of his little old man mind:
"Sometimes it takes time for the world to catch up. The Maharishi is very, very satisfied that the influence has been created and it will only expand and become stronger and better known and more widely applied," Feldman said.
Going to the grave as grandiose as any common variety Napoleon in a mental asylum. A wonderful endorsement for the practice he cribbed, which made him rich, famous, and as nutty as any jay-bird. But there is one thing we have to give the kooky coot credit for: he amassed a fortune in real estate merely by selling sand at the beach.


Monday, January 28, 2008

Om No!

File under: Gurubusting and The Siddhi of PR

Holy crap! Fauxru Omdasji goes down on his own website!

(Thanks, Sarloji!)

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Guru Takes On AIDS

File under: Gurus Doing Good

Unlike Swami Ramdev with his bunkum claims, Balia Baba is actually doing something about HIV/AIDS in Orissa, India:
Balia Baba, a prominent spiritual guru, told reporters here on Monday that Ananta Balia Trust has resolved to take care of these diseased children.

"We are deeply upset over reports that quite a few little children from Kendrapara district have come the vice-like grip of HIV positive virus. It's upsetting to note that they have become objects of neglect," Baba who has embarked on several welfare works through the trust founded by him, said.

Ananta Balia Trust has decided to provide nutritional support to the infected children. Besides the Trust would bear the cost of their periodic medication like anti-retroval therapy.

"We are not saying that agencies concerned duty bound to take care of them have failed. But the ground reality is that these innocent children are leading a pathetic life. They need urgent attention," the spiritual guru noted.
It's nice to see a guru getting his hands dirty in a way that would probably send Sri Sri screaming in the other direction.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Ramdev Quacks

File under: Gurubusting, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

In his ongoing effort to steal the limelight away from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Swami Ramdev is now making very bold claims for his yoga regimen:
In an interview with Khaleej Times, the 38-year-old yogic, who is in Dubai for the first time to conduct a three-day yoga camp, said, “I have helped cure more than 1,000 people of cancer through yoga and pranayama (breathing techniques) over a period of time and have scientific documentation to prove it. People who had blood, uterus, breast and pituitary gland cancer and have had abnormal parameters, now have normal parameters.”
Note that he "helped cure," which anyone in these patients lives could claim, especially their medical doctors. It appears the swami has wised-up since he got spanked for claiming he could cure HIV/AIDS.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Gov To Seek Guru For Britney Spears?

File under: Guru to the Stars

A wildly inaccurate story about that tumbling train-wreck of the decade, Britney Spears, (did you know she was married to Justin Timberlake?), finds remedy for her widely-reported troubles with the help of the governor-elect of Louisiana:
It is time Louisiana governor, Bobby Jindal, took an initiative to rescue the prodigal daughter of the state from courting disaster, helping her overcome her problems. He could possibly persuade the greatest ever pop star to seek out a spiritual guru, in his country of origin. Hopefully, someone will succeed to do Spears what Maharishi Mahesh Yogi did to John Lennon, and make the world look up to India.
The only "guru" Bobby Jindal could recommend as a Republican would be a bible-thumping, homo-hating Evangelical minister. Generally, they rarely make good gurus.

Neither did the Maharishi.  All he "did to" John Lennon was piss him off, causing him to write the song Sexy Sadie to commemorate that time the TM™ guru tried to nail Mia Farrow (or her sister, as some purport.)

If Britney is to get a guru, she or he is going to have to come by someone else's recommendation. Someone who writes about gurus every day, perhaps?   We think we know just the man for the job...


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Dalai Lama Gets Lame

File under: Gurubusting

[Ed.note: We understand that the Dalai Lama was using terminology and concepts consistent with his tradition. Nonetheless, these concepts as they filter into the West are plainly deficient in their power to explain the understanding of universal Selfhood. In fact, these concepts actively hinder that understanding's coming in a life. So those who perpetuate them, knowingly or not, will get spanked here.]

Since he was making an appearance alongside Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Swami Ramdev at a peace conference in India, the Dalai Lama probably felt a lot of pressure to be just as stupid as they are. Well, he surely outdid himself on that account:
"Feelings of 'I' and 'me' should go to achieve peace as they are the cause of ego. When the ego is killed, hatred vanishes and ultimately there is peace in society," the Dalai Lama said.
That's sort of like saying: "All our arms [as in the limbs] must go to achieve world peace because then we couldn't shoot guns anymore."

As much as he's trying to make things better in the world, the Dalai Lama was much more the Duhlai Lame-o at this conference.


More Post-Secret Terminology

File under: Satscams

Still feeling burned by The Secret? You are not alone, and The Anti-Guru Blog author Steven Sashen feels your pain:
Successhole (suc·cess·hole; pronounciation: \sək-ˈses-(h)ōl\). noun.

1. A person who, upon achieving some dramatic change in status or income makes it abundantly clear that s/he thinks this change is primarily a result of her/his actions and discounts the role of luck, chance, and the myriad other factors that had much more to do with it;

2. A person who can’t help but tell you how they achieved some goal through the practice of influencing the particles of the universe with their thought, intention, vibration, manifestation, or some other unmeasurable characteristic (e.g. Jim won the lottery and now he’s such a successhole about how he “attracted it.” It’s the LOTTERY, Jim!);

3. Someone whose attainments should engender awestruck gratitude, but instead, continues to bitch and moan about petty things and insists on doing complicate restaurant check math so as not too pay an extra $1.00.


Sucksassful (sucks·ass·ful; pronounciation: \sək-ˈas-fəl\ or, in certain areas \sək-ˈses-fəl\ ).

1. Noun - The unpleasant emotions one experiences upon discovering that achieving a long-desired goal has not delivered the imagined and anticipated happiness. (e.g. If I wasn’t spending all those years visualizing becoming successful, I could have been having fun… instead of having spent all my weekends in workshops and now being sucksassful)

2. Adjective - The achievement of a goal that results in the above-described experience (e.g. La-dee-da, I’m a sucksasful millionaire. Now shoot me, please.)
We are SO up for experiencing sucksassfulness for ourselves, so please send your bank account and routing numbers, along with your PINs and any loose cash you have lying around, to


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Maharishi Mahasamadhi Watch

File under: Final Satsang, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Apparently, right under our noses, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi of TM™ infamy has given an exit speech and is expected to kick the bucket at any moment. Not surprisingly, he's still as nutty as a squirrel locked in a peanut factory:
One week ago, on the evening of January 8, in reviewing the progress of his global Movement and surveying the growing signs of peace in the world, Maharishi declared, "Invincibility is irreversibly established in the world. My work is done. My designated duty to Guru Dev is fulfilled." He resolved to use all his remaining time to complete his commentary on the Veda.
What does it say about a guru who goes to die as fully deluded as the Maharishi appears to be? He will leave this plane one of the most grandiose spiritual leaders of modern times, but he will certainly not be remembered as the savior of the planet he's conditioned his followers to believe he is. Sorry TM™ers, it was a quaint little dream, but it's one that had already died years ago.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Amma Lifted On Hindu Right Wing

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

The Hindu right wing political party in Ammachi's home state of Kerala, India, has nominated her for a regional social award:
"Amritanandamayi has been taking up various social service initiatives and her Mutt was involved in the rehabilitation of tsunami-hit people," Puthezhath Ramachandran, President of the organisation, said.

The Mutt's services for the welfare of elderly people and in the education sector have been acknowledged by all, he said.

Though Amritanandamayi has been honoured by several countries, India has not yet bestowed any award on her, he said adding she should be considered for the top honour of the country, Bharat Ratna.
Think of it like a Republican U.S. state governor nominating a top ten TV evangelical preacher for an accolade from the Southern Baptist Convention, if the SBC had more obvious ties to the KKK than it shows to the world.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Pissing On The Peedam

File under: Gurubusting, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

At the expense of bringing this entirely ordinary con man a bit more attention, we bring you the bald-faced and completely unapologetic miracle mongering of that fake shakti working a name used by at least 4 other big-time gurus:
One day the headmaster called Amma and said he had heard that Amma could materialize things and said to Amma, "You must materialize something for me right now." On hearing this Amma materialized a chocolate for the head master who being a science teacher was flabbergasted. After that day he did not say anything to Amma...

He said that Lord Murugan would not forgive him if he broke his ritual on the last day. Amma laughed and persuaded my husband to take a bite of the rice ball insisting that Lord Murugan will understand. When he did, his teeth clicked on something metallic inside the rice ball. Alarmed with fear, he dispersed the rice ball. What did he see?, a smiling Murugan statue with His bestowing hand showing “fear-not!”...

Two weeks after they received Amma's blessings, more blood tests were done and the hospital doctors were surprised that the results now showed a negative for HIV. Further tests thereafter confirmed that she was no longer HIV positive and was discharged from the hospital. Till today, she is still leading a healthy and normal life.
From a child with some sleight-of-hand skills to a full-fledged con man putting small statues into rice and spinning a mis-diagnosis as a miracle AIDS cure, "Amma" Narayani appears to be an 100% authentic criminal scam artist in the style of Sai Baba and Kalki Bhagavan. Unfortunately, he's got a bright future ahead of him preying on the swarms of uncritically-thinking nincompoops who flock to this sort of bullshit.

But fear not, kind readers: we've got our teaspoon, we see the ocean, we'll just keep scooping.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Man Amma OKs Ben Lee's Extra Income

File under: Gurus to the Stars and The Siddhi of PR

Australian pop-folk singer and guru groupie Ben Lee has popped the question to girlfriend Ione Skye, former wife of Beastie Boy Adam "Adrock" Horovitz, after getting permission from his miracle-mongering fauxru, Amma Narayani:
"After blabbering through my question, stating my fears of neglecting my career and spiritual path, running through the pros and cons, Amma told me: 'The purpose of marriage in human life is to build a family. Partnership is not just for enjoyment, as it is for animals. Once you understand this, it will not take you off your path. Marriage will be good for Ben'."

The guru continued: "In the past, Ben has wavered on his path as he didn't have support. Ione understands his job and profession and can support him. She is spiritually connected to the divine. There should not be any problem with Ben and Ione. Every marriage has adjustments. You cannot plan for everything in life. But it can be smooth. Ben can ask Ione. Amma will bless everything."
Especially the extra income working actress Skye will be bringing in. Cha-ching! And just in the nick of time! The man has got expensive miracles to stage.

But we found ourselves even more distressed by the fact that the "nice news" was greeted without a single smidge of snark by Defamer's little brother in Australia. Where is this world headed when a Gawker-branded website is actually nice about something as ridiculous as this?

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Monday, January 14, 2008

After The Secret Gets Told

File under: Satscams

Guruphiliac fave Steven Sashen and his The Anti-Guru Blog bring a new word into the lexicon, necessitated by all those dumb dupes who paid thousands for seminars helping them to use The Secret:
Manifrustration (man·i·frus·tra·tion ; pronunciation: \ˌma-nə-frəs-ˈtrā-shən\) Noun.

1) The unhappiness associated with not getting what you want after attempting to influence the universe with your thoughts

2) The displeasure that occurs when the manifestation “master” says you haven’t gotten what you want because there’s something wrong with you

2a) The added confusion when this alleged imperfection is some unprovable or vague theory, such as: the level of your intention or “vibration”; unconscious “resistance”; or the type and/or number of certain thoughts that spontaneously arise in your mind

3) The depression that follows the times when, if you do somehow manage to get what you want, you find that you’re not actually any happier

4) The sadness arising when, after not getting what you want through the use of a particular manifestation technique, you go into debt to take another manifestation course that promises better results… but only delivers one or more of the 3 states listed above
It's no secret that it's all claptrap now. It's too bad folks can't un-manifest their money back out of the bank accounts of the con folk who flimflammed them.


Saturday, January 12, 2008

Delaware Guru Going 40-Years Strong

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Today we became aware of Bharat Gajjar, a retired Dupont, Inc. textile engineer and yoga guru for over 40 years in Wilmington, Delaware. A chela of His Holiness Swami Vishnu Devananda, whose own guru was Swami Sivananda (1887-1963), Bharat seems like mostly a straight shooter to us, putting himself aside and allowing the ideas of yoga to take the lead at his satsang.

Until we get to the end of the article, where the ubiquitous superstition that infects yoga philosophy pokes its head up to taunt us:
In your book you tell about a spiritual guide speaking to you and guiding you from the time you were a young man in India.

After many experiences I grew confident that it was Swami Sivananda, my guru's guru. He's like Jesus or Buddha to me. Students in my classes have told me of seeing a man in orange robes in the room.

They saw a kind of apparition or vision?

Yes, and he helped me in countless ways: at work, in my family life, with my yoga students.

Hindu philosophy says a guru can guide you in the body or from the hidden spiritual plane. It makes no difference.
Er..., you mean Hindu superstition, Bharat. Guruphiliac philosophy says that the Self of the student may appear to manifest as an apparent contact with a long-dead guru, and that such a manifestation can be immensely helpful, but that such only exists in the mind of the seer and those he directly influences. What better way is there to impress (i.e. suck up to) your guru than claiming to see the apparition he claims to see.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Ramdev The Retard

File under: Gurubusting and The Siddhi of PR

He's making another PR play against his arch-rival, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. This time, Rancorous Swami Ramdev is publicly rejecting sex education in India:
According to Baba Ramdev, there should be a complete ban on sex education since students are unprepared for sex education.

“Children are not mature enough to understand how to use a condom and how to have a safe intercourse,” says Baba Ramdev.
What to do? What to do?

Ramdev thinks he knows what to do:
He is out to convince parents in Mumbai that yoga will solve their fears of teen sexuality.
His brand of yoga, no doubt.

Fortunately, there are still a few forward thinking individuals who reside in India:
With parents demanding sex education themselves, it is high time the government and spiritual gurus lets go of their own hang-ups.

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

BREAKING: Is A Kalki Bhagavan Criminal Case About To Crack Open?

File under: Gurubusting, Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

This just in:
The TRUTH is about to happen. Kalki and Amma and the son Krishna Nemam are about to go to jail.

INTERPOL and the US, India, UK and China are investigating multi country money laundering, fraud, crimes, scams and the evasive tactics of the 3.

Let's see if they can get some "oneness" in a cold jail cell for the next 20 years or so.
Unfortunately, there's no way to verify this anonymous comment, so have your salt handy. This could even be bait for us, which we've just willingly swallowed, hook, line and sinker. But damn if that's not a sign of God's love for the world if the Kracki is about to go down as the criminal he's been ever since he first claimed to be a guru.

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Buddhist Guru's "Suicide" Now Murder

File under: Final Samadhi

After two days-worth of monk rioting, police in Mumbai have finally given in and refiled in the case of the "suicide" of Buddhist monk and spiritual guru Bhanta Mahathero. Now it is alleged he was murdered:
Supporters say that the spiritual guru was murdered since he was opposing a slum rehabilitation project on a land that was meant for a Buddhist shrine.

Bruises found on the monk's body has strengthened their suspicion that foul play was involved.

“How is it possible that a [spiritual leader] who has devoted his life to others would commit suicide at this point?” questioned Bhadanth Mahathero, a Buddhist monk.
We have to agree that it seems uncharacteristic for a seemingly non-wackadoo guru to off themselves. Conversely, it makes perfect sense that he'd be removed for hindering somebody's profit principle. Truth, as ubiquitous as it is, is sometimes no match for good old fashioned human greed.


Monday, January 07, 2008

Sri Sri Spins Dross

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

He's the preening prophet of India, always on the lookout for a good camera op. He may be as deep as a rain puddle on the path, but since he's got the look, folks think the dross coming out of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's mouth is pure gold:
Regarding corruption, he said it was due to politics mingled with secularism. "Adi Shankaracharya was only the person who condemned untouchability," he replied to another query.
The man does have a talent, and that's for making nothing sound like something. In this case, his clear attachment to caste and his noted tendency for sucking up to politicians is all he's really communicating about here.

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Friday, January 04, 2008

New Year's Nonsense

File under: Gurubusting

Reading this makes us weep for the state of Truth in India (and America, Pakistan and everywhere else).


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Godmen Godzillas

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Monster number one:
The Supreme Court accorded 57-year-old Swami Premananda a double life sentence. He was convicted of 13 rapes and a murder in his ashram in Tiruchi. Premananda moved to India in 1984 from Matale in Jaffna. He claims to have discovered his “spiritual powers” at 18 when “a great spiritual vibration entered the prayer room and my white robes slowly turned to orange.”
This is the guy that Benjamin Creme and the Share International fruitcakes favor, not as their Savior, but as someone sympathetic to [read: in cahoots with] their mission of world spiritual domination through the power of their mighty [imaginary] Maitreya and a host of ghosts with only their non-existence to boast.

Monster number two:
A former armyman who spent 14 years in jail for committing three murders, Gnyanachaitanya’s real name is PM Sudhakaran. When the Williamses approached him early last year, he claimed Amanda had been his wife in a previous birth. In a written statement Amanda says, “…if I did not marry him immediately, (he said) our family would have to face the wrath of Lord Shiva.” When Gnyanachaitanya ‘married’ Amanda, his wife Mini was also present at the Mookambika Temple in Karnataka; the couple have six children. Amanda’s complaint to the Malappuram police states that her father paid Rs 15 lakh to the swami, apart from giving him a Tata Safari and several household appliances. She was “sexually abused and tortured, mentally and physically.” She was not allowed to correspond with her family in England. When Gnyanachaitanya was in Mumbai on April 12, she escaped and emailed her father.
First murder and now sexual slavery. Get this guy a few pounds of plutonium so he can realize his goal of perfection in absolute evil.

And lastly, sexy-sexy monster number three:
Such attitudes are an impetus for godmen like Kuchumardhana Swami in Parkal, a village in Warangal. A primary school teacher whose real name is Gottumukala Babu Rao, he was dismissed from service in Karimnagar for misbehaving with girls. In 2002, he moved to Parkal as Kuchumardhana Swami and claimed to have Lord Shiva’s blessings to treat childless women. Ironically, his wife had left the 58-year-old because they could not have children. Kuchumardhana’s modus operandi? Women had to visit him on Mondays and Saturdays to have their breasts massaged.
Breast massages: the next "oneness blessing?"

And all in the same article! Tehelka, we love you.

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