Guruphiliac: March 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

Maharishi Losing More Than His Mind

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Over at the TM-Free Blog, John Knapp informs us that a court in Norway has taken away the Maharishi's claim to the title "Transcendental Meditation." The senile old coot gets to keep "TM™", however.

It's another blow to the wanton fantasy of the Maharishi, one that makes the Wizard of Oz look like "The Grapes of Wrath" in terms of realism.

The poor old thing is probably having a cow right now, provided he's got enough functioning brain matter left to realize the jig is up. But that would require a clear sense of the enormity of his folly. If he hasn't seen it up to this point, it's not likely he ever will.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

R.I.P. U.G.

File under: Real True Gurus

A reader alerted us to the fact that U.G. Krishnamurti is no longer for this world. A true anti-guru guru, U.G. seemed to make every effort to demystify the truths of self-realization, something we're attempting to hack away at as well.

Our friend Bruce Morgen encapsulates U.G. this way:
Never underestimate the power and value of one who delivers a kick in the ass(umptions), even if (s)he is personally quite insane...
The world is minus one good, crazy ass-kicker now.


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Me Me Dances For Donkeys And Elephants

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's PR ninjas have disseminated the news to the Indian media that he's going to prance in front of big-time politicians and their wonks in Washington D.C. tonight:
The confirmed speakers include Majority Leader of the House of Representatives Steny Hoyer, Delaware Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr and California Congressman Jerry Lewis, according to the Art of Living Foundation.

Other Congressmen who will attend the function are Joseph Crowley, Joe Wilson, Diane Watson, Sherrod Brown, Janice Schakowsky, Melissa Bean, Jesse Jackson Jr, Chris Hollen, Jim Gerlach and Frank Pallone.
Me Me's message to the dignitaries: the same don't-worry-be-happy bullshit he's rode to his current levels of name and fame in India.

We imagine when all is said and done, the school-of-hard-knocks warriors who live around the Beltway are not going to be all that impressed. As much as Me Me might like to think otherwise, getting the inner city gangs to hyperventilate themselves into a placebo effect activation will not be as easy as hoodwinking India's burgeoning technology class.

But as always, Me Me comes off the holy peace-bringer and savior despite the utter ineffectualness of his efforts. Perhaps his lust for an ever-increasing amount of name and fame has blinded him to the mistakes of his daddy, the Maharishi, whose eponymous "effect" was supposed to have cured all social ills years ago. Or maybe he's purposefully following in his daddy's footsteps, knowing full well that while there may not be more peace resulting from his visit, he'll still reap the PR cheer and plant his name in that many more minds, which is really what it's all about for the snake oil salesman flimflamming conman consummate showman holy beacon of all that is good in the world.

Update: As of 8:45 PM Mountain Daylight Time, not one American news organization has reported on the launch of Sri Sri's "stress-free, violence-free" initiative yesterday, according to Google news search. We hear this severe failure by the AoL PR ninjas has resulted in 8 acts of harikari.


Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Forget Sri Sri, Follow Puppetji!

File under: Gurubusting

Sri Puppetji drops his science on The Secret. Enjoy:


Monday, March 26, 2007

Heaven's Goofs

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus

It's been ten years since the cops showed up to an expensive Santa Fe Springs, California, mansion full of dead dumbasses in Nike track suits. They foolishly followed some self-castrated nincompoop named Bo to their doom in the worst mass suicide in U.S. history, believing they were going to get picked up by a spaceship hiding behind the Hale-Bopp comet. You just can't make it up any crazier than that.

Meanwhile, the one idiot left over still believes in the same nonsense. Once again we are completely dumbfounded at the stupidity one can find in the world.

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Sri Sri Has Landed

File under: The Siddhi of PR

We've just had one of those "moment of clarity" thingies. You know, when you finally get to see that everything in your life has been a lost cause. We have just now realized that it's all over in America. The Sri Sri ME-ME-ME show is about to blow up bigger than an exposed nipple on a superstar at the Superbowl.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has come to the United States, and he has found it is just as easy to hookwink dumb Statesiders as it is anyone else in the world. Indeed, outside of the bit of resistance he'll get from the fundie crowd, we are certain it will be much easier here than anywhere else. Get ready for the impending U.S. invasion of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Sri Sri's list of accomplishments and programs and initiatives is so long — trauma relief and women's empowerment and conflict resolution and breathing classes that have been taught to millions of people — that it's a bit hard to get a handle on him, or to figure out why his name isn't a household word in the United States.
A lot of hard work went into delaying that "household word" status in the U.S... until now. Of all Sri Sri's accomplishments, his greatest was hiring the people who run his propaganda public relations department. We plant our face in the dirt at the feet of these people, who have taken a name and fame-lusting slickie and turned him into a lion of peace and a divine saint.

This could be our last post, as we've suddenly begun to hear a beautiful song sung by the Taos Gorge Bridge. The lyrics suggest that a heaven of eternally deep powder, supercell thunderstorms, and every species of snake ever created, all awaiting us 650 feet straight down at the bottom of the Rio Grande. We're not sure we're ready for heaven – and we expect that many in the world are hoping we go straight to hell – but right now it seems the only reasonable option we have if we're going to leave this plane with what little sanity we have, intact.

Au revoir, cruel world.


Thursday, March 22, 2007

Peace Palace Hissy Fit

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Maharishi dupes in Mayfield Heights, a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio, are whining because the city isn't rolling over and granting their setback variances to city zoning rules over a proposed Peace Palace and TM™ high school. The TM™ers are trying to cast the issue as a case of city-sponsored, anti-TM™ sentiment, contending that "the city is refusing to allow them setback variances that other neighboring corporate offices were allowed."

To the city and residents near the planned development, it's a safety and quality of life issue:
"The city is concerned about safety issues," Costabile said. "They want a setback variance that will put them too close to neighbors and too close to the street. And that becomes a fire and safety issue..."

One resident, Yolanda Geraci, complained the 35-foot clearance was too close to her residential property and would create noise and disruptions during the school day.
To us, the issue is rather clear; there are just too many idiots in Ohio who believe in that insane little man's nonsense.


Monday, March 19, 2007

The Cannibal Christ

File under: Wackadoo Gurus

He's called "Black Jesus" in his native Papua New Guinea. His modus operandi was forcing girls as young as 9-years-old into sex slavery... and then every once in a while he'd eat one of them. Of course, B.J. stayed in business with the usual divine guru propaganda:
Tari, 35, a failed Bible student who claimed he was the "true Christ", had around 6,000 followers and promised his disciples material wealth and religious salvation if they joined his bizarre cargo cult.
With the natives quite naturally disturbed by all this, the cops are having a hard time keeping him alive to face trial. Justice for Black Jesus may come well before the authorities are ever able to get him in front of a judge.


Sunday, March 18, 2007

Our Own Anti-Guru Gets Press

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Our very own anti-guru, Steve Shasen of the Anti-Guru blog (and the comments section of this blog), a gem we came across a few weeks ago, was interviewed by the Toronto Star for an article about Rhonda Byrne's flimflam book and DVD entitled The Secret:
For Steven Sashen, it all amounts to the same thing. A self-described "recovering guru," Sashen, who studied cognitive psychology, adhered to all the self-help he could glom on to for 30 years, He even taught and ran classes. "It took me that long to get less stupid," he says, laughing.

Based in Boulder, Colo., he runs a web site,, where he addresses what he calls "the compulsion we have to believe, and the aversion we have to critical thinking."

He would know. After a lifetime spent looking for the answer, "I had this `oooohhh' moment," he says. "I was looking for ever more subtle notions of what was wrong. And when one didn't work, I would look for whatever the next thing was. And I realized, `Why should I think that the next grand solution to come along will be any more effective than the last?'"...

The "secret" – it's an enticing notion, Sashen says. "It's the carrot on the stick. If someone says, `I know the answer,' you're going to want that. If you tell people that the answer has been there all along, and it's been hidden from you – well, people will beat down the doors to get that."
Kudos to Sashen for speaking out against this monstrosity of infantilism that threatens to turn the world into a sandbox full of entitled little shits, all operating under the woefully mistaken impression that spiritual realization has anything to do with material prosperity.

It does... just as much as our dog's ass.


Friday, March 16, 2007

Tilak Heads Back East

File under: Gurubusting, Hands Where They Don't Belong and Satscams

For those of you curious about the latest doings of that lanky Sri Lankan and his "art" with a flashlight, the "Doctor" sends us an update:
Tilak has dashed out to the East Coast to find a producer that will make him famous. Ronda Byrne has obviously become too rich or enlightened to be seen with him.

Tilak's “love bird” is still being hidden from the public. He has stopped seeing his “students” because no one has told him that everyone knows she has cancer, so he keeps the charade going. That and the fact that he pissed off nearly everyone during his Ronda obsession.

I thought I was going to be able to talk about the “love bird's” replacement, but it seems that she also has vanished. Is this a sign that the walls of illusion are vanishing?

This has put a tremendous financial stain on [Tilak.] With [him] missing out on some good meals and free drinks nearly every weekend, I’'m am also feeling the strain. I guess paying ten thousand dollars for an “odyssey” [to] then watch him talk on the phone to Ronda for the whole weekend has taken its toll.

Even his personal assistant (when she isn’'t in rehab for something or leading an AA meeting) doesn'’t accompany him on his trips anymore. She obviously doesn’t fit the beautiful blond profile anymore. Why doesn'’t he just blow on her? The blue light should make her all better and beautiful, according to him.

He (Tilak) seems to find the company of younger male entrepreneurs more to his liking lately. However, his Hollywood hair dresser and professed best friend opted out of the Movie trip this week. Maybe he has a rep to watch out for, or maybe it seems that the people on the West Coast are starting to feel a bit silly having spent so much [money] for... what was it again?... oh, I remember, an “explosion of light breeze”. So it's time to test the waters back east.
Who can blame Rhonda for dropping Tilak like he was a needy plain Jane at a cheerleaders' convention. Now that she's been vaunted into the highest echelons of New Age™ flimflammery by her guru, Oprah, there's just no need for such a lightweight con-partner anymore.

Meanwhile, Tilak continues to chase his dreams of big-time celebrity gurudom. But with the recent press investigation in San Diego and that damning piece in New York magazine, along with the omnipotent power of the Googles, he'll soon find a diminished patsy-pool from which to dip in for his living expenses.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

The "Master" Loser

File under: Gurubusting and Wackadoo Gurus

Today a regular reader pushed us to reveal the existence of Charles Buell Anderson, aka "The Master Teacher," otherwise known as Chucky. There's not much to say about this creep; he's so clearly grandiose – at a level well-past the psychotic – as to make everything about him a joke, including the time he visited Kalki "The Kracki" Bhagavan in India and was made to wait:
Chucky went to India to visit Kalki Bhagavan. It turned out to be a disaster, as Chucky became super angry, screaming and insulting Kalki as he left. All this because he was told he had to wait.
Way to go Chucky! Making yourself out to be a bigger loser than the Kracki is no small feat. Too bad it's about the only thing you are a master of, besides getting fools to believe you speak for God.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The One True Management Guru

File under: The Siddhi of PR

In these days of "management gurus" littering the corporate landscape like discarded boy toys in Paris Hilton's wake, there comes the one true and actually authentic management guru, Swami Sukhadhodhananda.

He appears to be your standard Indian self-help fare – a little bit ancient yoga and a little bit "modern science." At least he's not a miracle-mongering, self-styled living deity and savior of the planet promising instant (and quite false) enlightenment. That puts him way, way ahead of most of the other gurus getting press in Mother India.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Guru In The Ghetto

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Today's LA Times brings news of Sri Natha Devi Premananda, whose ashram sits right underneath the final approach for LAX airport in an area known more as the birthplace of gangsta' rap than as a place of peace and enlightenment.

Premananda got her start as New Orleans transplant Claretta Cayette. After reading that fantasy fable known as Autobiography of a Yogi, she set sail on her spiritual quest, which took her all over the world to sit "at the feet of enlightened masters".

And wouldn't you know it, a "voice" told her to go home and make a place for visiting masters in America. This was after many "visitations" by that standard pretense for all things miraculous in Yoga, the mythological figure Mahavatar Babaji. She even claims visitations by that flimflamming, kid-diddling avatard, Sai Baba:
Not only was I receiving blessings and instructions from my Beloved Babaji, but also from Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who would occasionally make his presence known to me in a very conscious way. I was first introduced to him in November 1981. During my nightly prayers I heard a sweet voice that said: “Get up and turn on the TV. I did as I was told, and the moment the picture came up I saw a man walking very gracefully across the screen. He was dressed in a long white robe and he materialized a beautiful white lotus flower in his right hand. Each of the petals was moving as he proceeded to walk in that graceful manner. Then, suddenly, the announcer’s voice explained that this was Sri Sathya Sai Baba of India, the modern Christ.
While we think it's grand to have a meditation center where it's certainly really needed – in a place rife with gang warfare – we can't help but be completely dismayed by the myth-making aspects of Premananda's story. Perfect for an up and coming guru seeking a bit more funding for her seemingly worthy satsang, but also a source of the standard occluding mind-fucking that occurs around these type of situations.

That said, we wish Sri Premananda much luck with her endeavors to bring peace to the war-strewn streets of Los Angeles, but also pray that she learns to keep it real above all else. Until that happens, Premananda's little island of peace in the ghetto will remain a stinking cesspool of occluding nonsense about self-realization. It may be one little step forward for a bit of calm in a storm, but five giant leaps backward for any true spiritual understanding.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Bishop Marries Into Loony-Bin

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus

A reader turned us on to this Washington Post story today:
The only face that appeared as many times [as Pope John Paul II] throughout [Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo's] home was the grinning countenance of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, self-proclaimed messiah and founder of the Unification Church. According to Milingo, these belong to the woman who is part symptom and part cause of his excommunication: Maria Sung, a South Korean acupuncturist chosen as his bride by Moon.
A bishop goes for broke, getting booted out of the Catholic Church to marry someone chosen for him by a straight-up psychotic narcissist (with tons of money to throw at politicos, hence the fact that he is tolerated in Washington.)

While he is certainly a world-class fool for thinking Moon is anything other than a wackjob with money, at least Milingo is going to be finally getting some before he croaks. That is, if he wasn't one of those priests back in the day.

BTW: Today is the 2nd year anniversary of the little endeavor known as this blog. Thanks for reading, everyone!

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

Wikiomitting Siddha Yoga Truths

File under: Gurubusting and The Siddhi of PR

Guruphiliac reader/list member Stuart Resnick decided to check the Wikipedia entry for Siddha Yoga, where he discovered a wicked omission:

Siddha Yoga (aka SYDA) promotes obedience and worship of the guru (originally Swami Muktananda, now Gurumayi). I was amazed to see that under the sections called "Tenets" and "Practices," there's no mention of worship of the guru, obedience to the guru, and belief in the guru's special state, status and power!

It's incredibly dishonest. I don't mind a subjective spin, people can have their own opinions about whether guru worship is good or bad. But no sane person who spent any time with this organization could believe that its tenets and practices don't center on believing the guru has special status, power, and mind-state.
It appears Gurumayi is still trying to extricate herself from that unholy mess of guru worship she created for herself not too long ago. It's another example of "inner" tradition versus "outer." They use the outer to pull you in, and then go all inner on you when they think they've got you locked into their nonsense ideology.

Kalki Bhagavan uses the same subterfuge. He keeps the declarations of his Godhood to a minimum when the rich Westerners are around. But once he's successfully pulled you in to his destructive cult... WHAM! He hits you with this nonsense.

Big Net Hides Gem

File under: Gurubusting

The enormity of the internets has kept the Anti-Guru blog a secret from us until now [Ed.note: Heh. Get it? "The Secret..."], although we could also blame laziness and our general lack of motivation. Either way, we are happy to steer you to another warrior's attempt to combat ignorance as it relates to spiritual leadership.

While author Steven Sashen appears to be some kind of spiritual teacher himself, suspiciously offering classes in something he is calling "Quantum Wealth," we won't hold that against him... yet; especially if he keeps coming up with quips like this:
...if you give enough people enough corrugated cardboard to eat, you'll get some great health testimonials.
We'd also like to take this opportunity to state on the record that while we are anti-special divinity, anti-magical person and anti-spiritual conman, we are not anti-guru, despite what some of the slower of you out there may care to believe.


Thursday, March 08, 2007

Japan's Fear Fixes On Joyu

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Wackadoo Gurus

Poor Fumihiro Joyu, who just learned the valuable lesson that if you make a new cult out of a terrorist guru's old one, it comes with all the fear that the old one created.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Kracki Cons Another American Guru

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and Satscams

We just received a note from a disappointed student of the American guru couple, Arjuna and Chameli Ardagh:
A few weeks ago my hypnosis teacher, Arjuna Nick Ardagh, contacted me to say that he was now working closely with [Kalki Bhagavan of] Oneness University and was using deeksha along with hypnosis. I looked up [the Oneness Movement] web site... it sounded interesting and I was about to receive deeksha from a representative here in Canada. Thanks to your exposing of the "Avatars", I backed out of it immediately after reading your blog. You are doing important work. BRAVO! In my opinion cults are growing and growing... because hardly no one exposes them. You are probably saving many people from getting involved with cults... and wasting their lives and precious time and money.
We'd like to believe we're being helpful, but we also know we aren't much more than a mouse standing in front of a mountain of ignorance with a hat pin for a pick axe.

Meanwhile, another influential Western guru lets his ego get stroked into submission by that slimy conman known as the Kracki, spreading his own grandiosity like an epidemic of self-regarding pomposity, taking out what were formerly good spiritual teachers and turning them into mindless (and spiritually quite useless) deeksha mongers.

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Sri Sri's Mission: Untouchable

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is keeping himself in the news with yet another hopeless peace junket. This time it's to foster reconciliation between India's untouchable caste and the rest of India.

We'll say this for Sri Sri, he sure knows how to pick a mission to fail. Dalits have been taking it in the backside from the rest of India since before the baby Jesus was born. In the States, racist white folk have only had about 300 years to hone their craft. Hindus have been doing the same for thousands.

Thus, we predict little will happen to make any real difference for the Dalits, although Sri Sri will have harvested yet another round of good PR cheer. It's a tried and true formula for the famewhoring fauxru. In the end, he always comes out the hero, regardless of how ineffectual his efforts always are.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Joyu Makes His Move (For Like The Billionth Time)

File under: Gurus Doin' Time, The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus

The webernets has been somewhat aflame with news of Fumihiro Joyu's Aum Supreme Truth Cult schism as of late, but it's not like the guy hasn't been blowing that horn for the last six months. It may have bored us silly, but it's good PR and marketing nonetheless.

It turns out that Joyu, who did 3 years for perjury after that nerve gas nastiness, is a bit of a teen heartthrob in Japan:
Joyu was often seen on Japanese television denying Aum's involvement in the attack and won admirers, especially among teenage girls, who saw him as handsome and articulate.
If he's smart and plays his cards right, he should be able to establish a nice little harem for himself after he gets his new cult fired up and in gear.

As for their former, subway-gassing guru, Shoko Asahara sits in his jail cell diddling himself as he waits for the warden to take him on his "dead man" walk to the execution chamber.

Meanwhile, the authorities in Japan are still scared shitless as to what his nutjob followers are planning to commemorate the hanging of their living God. We suggest a mass suicide, allowing those dumb enough to still believe in Asahara to spend the rest of eternity burning in Hell with him while leaving the rest of Japan alone to find something else to be afraid of.

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Monday, March 05, 2007

How Cracked The Kracki Really Is

File under: Satscams and Wackadoo Gurus

Anyone who claims to be the only living God is either one fucked up individual, or a straight-up, unrepentant criminal. Surround a nutbag like this with thousands upon thousands of duped patsies all over the world, and you've got the makings of a global social disaster.

Such is the ken of Kalki Bhagavan and his Oneness Movement. Read for yourself just how deluded this hideously successful loony conman actually is:
One can see that Bhagavan says he is not just God in flesh and blood, but also the one and only and only he will save the world. If we do not follow his will we will get into big trouble, and mankind will probably die. And the highest thing to do in this life is to become a monk in his order (called Dasa=servant of Bhagavan). Bhagavan once said that he did not want people to get Enlightened, as they were run-away-slaves. He wanted instead all to get total devotion to him instead, to realize he is God.
The real insanity is contained in the jpegs of the Mahavakyas of Kalki, the Kracki's very own, personal Gospel. Apparently kept under wraps lately so as not to scare off the rich Westerners, these 57 aphorisms are all the evidence any reasonable person should need to determine just how off-the-deep-end this global rip-off wackjob really is:

Absolutely chilling. It's unbelievable that anyone smart enough to operate a toilet would actually fall for this insane nonsense. God help us all... the real One, not the cracked-in-the-head-and-ready-to-rip-you-off one.

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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Sri Sri Tees Off On New Market

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

When he's not flying around inserting himself into places that will help to make him appear to be a white-robed beacon of peace (who is usually quite unsuccessful at actually bringing any peace to the places he goes,) Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is busy thinking up ways to clock more dollars. His latest scheme: getting golfers to give him money to learn to meditate the Art of Living way in a Hail Mary of a plan to improve their game:
"It's a known fact that golf maestro Tiger Woods meditates and does yoga for concentration," says Ajay Kumar, director of sales and marketing at Le Meriden Gokarna Forest Golf Resort and Spa, Kathmandu's pride and one of South Asia's finest golf resorts. "Golf is very much a mind game."

So to help golfers hone their concentration - at a price - the resort has tied up with Indian spiritual leader Sri Sri Ravishankar, the proponent of a meditation technique known as the Art of Living, to offer a unique 'Spirit of Golf' camp.
We hope nobody thinks they're going to become a Tiger Woods with the Art of Living training under their belt, and we hope Tiger Woods doesn't come after Mr. Kumar for using his name as a sales device. Tiger's got a phalanx of crackerjack lawyers to make sure that dollars clocked under his name go directly to him and not to a wannabe world leader like Sri Sri who's willing to hitch his wagon to anything that sells... himself.

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Muktananda Gets Whitewashed For 100th

File under: Gurubusting and Hands Where They Don't Belong

We've got a few issues here at Guruphiliac HQ, as you are all well aware. Along with our well-documented problems regarding superstition and ideas about self-realization and the size of our manhood, we have a particular aversion to hagiography.

Today we found this article commemorating the 100th anniversary of Baba Swami Muktananda's birth. He was the founder of Siddha Yoga, which was made even more famous by the efforts of one of his appointed successors, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, whose omission in this piece speaks loud and clear.

Also omitted is any mention of the many scandals which spun around the Baba during and after his life. Included in these are whispers of the Baba getting very cozy with the ladies, including a few young ones.

The article makes a perfect example of what hagiography is – biography minus the dirt. Like it or not, many, although certainly not all gurus, have a bit of dirt on them. But since the idea of sainthood is connected to the idea of purity, saint-making involves indifference to the tales of woe and misconduct that float around many a dead and living guru's satsangs.

There is a missed opportunity to learn from the mistakes of the guru after they get covered in a couple coats of sainthood. For instance, Muktananda stepped over the line for some sort of reason. Wouldn't it be more instructive to know why? Was he beset by lust, or did he have a sincere desire to enact some kind of tantric magic with those ladies. Perhaps his guru, Nityananda, gave him the instruction in how to accomplish the rite.

Folks are quick to jump to the conclusion that sexual misconduct is not possible for a realized soul. So, they either refuse to believe the stories, or they refuse to believe in the accused guru's enlightenment.

Where's the grey? Mostly in the little stories that fly around the various satsangs "explaining" or otherwise rationalizing the offensive behavior. But don't count on finding out about it in a press release or the life stories of the revered figure as they are recounted countlessly by the world's herd of guru-bhakta sheep.

As a result, more and more coats of sainthood go up, essentially bleaching the humanity right out what was once a dynamic and complicated creature, just like everyone else. That's what a wayward guru teaches, that even the freaks and disturbed can come to know the truth that shines in all.

You only have to pull away the curtain of PR spin and look behind the screen of the cultivated act to see that many of the whitewashed deities known as saints have all the "color" the rest of us have, and sometimes quite a bit more. We say this color is essential to a true understanding of a guru's life and message, and it's something we strive to provide for our lovely readers as much as we can muster.

Tips help us tremendously, so please join in the fun and let us know just how human your guru doesn't want us to know s/he really is.

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Friday, March 02, 2007

Kriyananda's Pre-Post Mortem Setup

File under: Gurubusting and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Now in hagiography-friendly India (where they quickly cover-upforget the moral transgressions of the deemed-to-be saintly) and set to die, Swami Kriyananda, the Swami Yogananda (himself the Walmart version of Swami Vivekananda) protegé who was kicked out of his own cult, set up a competing cult called Ananda, got caught with his hands where they didn't belong, got sued for it and lost, got sued by the Self Realization Fellowship and won... is setting up his own protegés by writing bullshit editorials in the Indian press:
Yet human beings are alive. If infused with the guru's power, only they can transmit his actual power to others. In this way, high spiritual vibrations can be passed down through generations of disciples, and create a spiritual legacy that may last for centuries.
Please! Kick the bucket already, Kriyananda! It will be one less source of occlusion pollution on the planet.

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Sour-Faced Devi Defiles India's Flag

File under: Gurubusting

Nirmala Devi is not one of our favorite gurus. Besides always looking like she's just eaten a whole bag of sour lemons, she's a well-documented ego-maniac who quite possibly suffers from borderline personality disorder.

So, when these photos and accompanying outraged message appeared in our inbox this morning, you could say we were more than just a bit tickled:

These pictures show the gross disrespect and insult to the Indian National flag by this so called "spiritual leader" and self-proclaimed "GOD", Mataji Nirmala Devi. This disrespect to our country's flag shows that she has definitely no respect or love for the country that gave her so much and her husband who was an IAS officer and chief of the SCI (he is seated next to her in the pics). Such a shame. I do urge and plead with all Indians who deeply love their country to forward the photos to as many people as possible so that it does catch the eye of someone higher up in the Indian Govt. who can really take some action against this cult.
Seeing as this "mataji" lives in Europe now, this missive making the rounds is probably not going to sting too much anyway. We imagine the old bat probably feels she can step on just about anything she feels like. After all, she is the goddess of the universe, according to herself and the pinch-faced devotees who have to put up with her everyday.

Here's a few more photos just in case you haven't been sufficiently outraged yourself:

[Ed.note: In India, feet are seen as rather unclean, so to have something next to your feet is to degrade it and make it less holy. Unless you actually are God, which this lady is most definitely not!]