Guruphiliac: July 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Guru Looks Bad: SYDA Bullies Blogger

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

If she didn't already have enough to worry about with her formerly exiled brother stepping up and into "Baba's Footsteps" in the States in defiance of her Siddha Yoga hegemony, Gurumayi has another fire she is trying to put out, the autobiographical exposé of former SYDA staffer Marta Szabo, The Guru Looked Good:
On Monday, July 30, 2007, the ashram's management contacted me, telling me to take down this blog and threatening legal action if I didn't. The story continues...
No wonder SYDA is trying to shut Marta down. It's just starting to get really juicy on her blog. Check out the latest chapter, where Marta chronicles the sickening weirdness of Gurumayi's attempts to quash the thoroughly damaging New Yorker profile published about her in 1994:
"We have to stop this article from coming out," said Katy. "That's why you're here this morning." I sat on the carpeted floor and listened while Katy told us how our small group had been chosen to perform a concentrated daily meditation to halt the publication of the article. We were to meditate every day at a specific time together in Baba's house. “Meditation with intention,” this was our new seva, to take precedence over everything else we were doing. "Adjust your schedules," said Katy. "Make sure you are there, every afternoon, starting today." We were not to speak of it to anyone.
We guess Baba's magic got wasted on those little girls he molested, and Gurumayi's was probably spent in the mall at the Gucci store.

But wait, the magic gets even blacker from there:
We sat on the marble floor, spreading our white woolen mats over our meditation cushions. We stayed for about an hour, our eyes closed, performing our Reiki exercises silently as we had been taught. Over and over, I mentally traced and retraced the simple patterns I had memorized from the set of xeroxed pages. As we each silently traced the patterns, we were to aim them at a woman called Tina Brown who, we were told, was the editor of the New Yorker magazine and at the woman called Lis who was the writer of the article. We were given vague physical descriptions of each of them so that we could roughly imagine each woman, drawing these prescribed patterns over the person we saw in our minds.
Gee! Superstitious nonsense that has absolutely no effect! Who'da thunk it?

As we all know, the article got published, and that was the beginning of the end for SYDA yoga, although it's been quite a long grind down since.

Update: Marta Szabo lets us know about SYDA's attempt to muzzle her:
Yesterday, the morning of Monday, July 30, my phone rang. I looked at the little screen that usually tells me who’s calling. I saw only the word “Private.” I had noticed over the weekend that while I was out my Caller ID had recorded that someone with this same “Private” reading had tried to call me several times but hadn’t left a message. So I picked up the phone. Clearly, someone was trying to reach me.

“Hi,” the male voice said. “This is Ganapati.”

Ganapati Buga had been a central figure in ashram management for many years, not someone I knew well, but I knew who he was and I recognized his voice. He said with a little laugh that he was surprised that I remembered him.

He said that I had signed a Confidentiality Agreement in the ashram and that I should take down this blog and that if I didn’t the ashram will take legal action.

I don’t remember signing this agreement, but maybe I did. I thanked Ganapati for his call and hung up.

I have sent a request for a copy of the agreement and will continue posting as I have been doing.
We suggest having a look at the original agreement. It would be the easiest thing in the world to cut and paste a signature from another document, something we imagine SYDA would have no problem doing.

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Monday, July 30, 2007

A TM™ Tower That Does Nothing

File under: The Siddhi of PR

From the As-Useful-As-A-Cruise Ship Dock-In-The-Desert dept:
A MULTI-storey "tower of knowledge" may be built [in Adelaide, Australia] in honour of Dr Bevan Morris, a leader of the Transcendental Meditation™ movement...

No one will live in the tower and it will be a permanent exhibition of the scientific research on the Maharishi Transcendental Meditation™ program.
As it turns out, Morris is apparently "now the 'prime minister' of the Global Country of World Peace™." Whether it's for the whole delusion or just the Down Under portion, we don't know.

It makes sense that Morris would want a monument built to himself while still alive. It makes up for the fact that the "government" he supposedly leads is relevant in a quantity too small for the human eye to see.


Sunday, July 29, 2007

Worthy Of The Wall

File under: Notable Quotes

Every now and then, someone makes a statement that does the work of a thousand words:
Non-falsifiability is the hallmark of TM research.

John M. Knapp, LMSW
While it's clear to many that meditation has many benefits, it's just as clear that TM™ is the McDonald's of Vedic spirituality, if that McDonald's were priced like a five-star restaurant in Paris, France. Too bad it's the same old mostly empty calories you get from any other fast food spirituality.


Ammachi Goongate: Mommy Hates Green Avenue

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Ammachi's Goongate

It's been just about 3 months since people who live in Ammachi's New Delhi ashram put a major beatdown on the residents of the Green Avenue neighborhood next door. Other than a couple of half-assed letters from a "concerned" devotee, absolutely nothing has been done while the ashramites continue to break the law by maintaining an illegal sign. Since the local police seem to be in Mommy's back pocket (perhaps with their hands in Mommy's purse), they've been 100% ineffectual at bringing any justice or closure to the situation.

While her Kool-Aid numbed devotees here in the States can't believe it's true, the Green Avenue folks were lucky to escape with their lives. That's how Amma's love seems to work in India. If you can't get with her, you are going to get your ass beat to a pulp if you get in her way.

In the interest of keeping information about this horrible manifestation of cult violence out in the open, here is a brief chronology of exactly went down when Ammachi's love was delivered with canes and crowbars:
1. Ashramites put up the original sign for Amma's visit on March 23 - 24, 2007. This was in violation of the local sign covenant, yet the Green Avenue residents decided to allow the ashramites to display the sign for the duration of the visit.

2. Amma's visit ends on March 30, 2007.

3. Green Ave. makes first contact with Amma's ashram about taking the sign down.

4. On April 2, 2007, an association staffer was sent to the ashram to request them to remove the board. He volunteered to bring it down himself and deliver it to the ashram. Rasamrita, the lady in charge, rudely turned him away. He was warned of dire consequences if anyone dared touch the board because Amma was revisiting Delhi next week. When Green Avenue confirmed from their ashram contacts that Amma "returning next week" was a lie, the association decided to remove the board themselves.

5. The Green Ave. association sends a message to the ashram by the association president, Mr. Romesh Bhandari, explaining that there are a couple of schools, 2 Indian temples, a church, as well as 5 ambassadors living down the road, each wanting to put up their direction boards. None of these had been allowed, making it clear to the ashram that they were in violation of the same rules and that they should abide as the other parties had done.

6. On April, 19, 2007, at about 8 PM, at least 20 men and women had accumulated at the street corner along with some workers. They insisted upon putting up a fresh sign and were about to get violent when they were stopped. This led to a retreat by the Green Avenue staffers.

7. Green Ave. resident Ashwani Khurana went to get the board removed early the next morning along with another resident and some staff when the vicious, premeditated attack occurred.

8. When police refused to act against the violators, Green Ave. decided to organize a peaceful protest on April, 29, 2007. Over 500 people attended and it was widely covered by the top TV channels, newspapers and Society magazine among others.

9. On May 30, 2007, the controversial sign, now with the red scarves tied on it to whip the Amma ashramites into a violent frenzy, was discreetly removed.

10. A new sign was fixed 2 days later under police protection, still in violation of the local law. Ironically, as per court orders, the police are supposed to enforce the law and ensure no illegal boards are put up.

11. There has been no official response or even the slightest bit of recognition from Amma's home office in Kerala or the screeching harridan who runs her ashram in New Delhi.
Ammachi's head-jammed-in-the-sand strategy reminds us of a 3-year-old with her fingers stuck in her ears, saying, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I can't hear you". Or perhaps she has simply lost control of her organization altogether.

Whatever the reason, it seems to prove that Mommy's love is thinly-disguised hatred in New Delhi. If you don't fall in line with the wishes of her org – as illegal as they may be – you better learn to bob and weave, because you may find yourself having to avoid the flying iron and wood being wielded by a bus-load of Amma's goons.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

Master Charles Gets The Hook

File under: Satscams and Wackadoo Gurus

Perhaps we find reason to cry Bum Shiva! a little too often, because we completely missed this alternative rag's response to the Master Charles Blessed Mother Apparition scam:
Regardless of whether Master Charles is creating a forum to spread authentic spiritual beliefs or just desperately seeking donations, there's one thing for sure: the new-agey guru is getting some attention.
Even we get a bit of press at MC's expense:
More recently, Radzik branded Master Charles' enterprises as "an avalanche of superstitious fancy and mind-clogging, occluding expectations, all having as much to do with any actual spiritual truth as an episode of Debbie Does Dallas.
Oh wow. That was us? Maybe if we up our daily Bum Shiva! count we can mellow out our harsh vibes...

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TM™'s PR Emergency Squad Rolls

File under: The Siddhi of PR

The TM™ media control center has turned on the flashing lights:
Scientists stated, “A controversial new government-funded report, which found that meditation does not improve health, is methodologically flawed, incomplete, and should be retracted.
Because only studies done on TM™ are any good:
Dr. Schneider also cited a study published in the American Medical Association’s journal Archives of Internal Medicine in 2006—one year after the AHRQ review ended in 2005—which confirmed that the Transcendental Meditation technique lowers high blood pressure in heart disease patients. The study was conducted at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and was funded by a $1.2 million grant from the National Institutes of Health.
Dr. Schneider works for the Maharishi, which leaves little doubt about where his objectivity lies. (We call it in the toilet.)

The TM™ers seem to be in a tizzy over this refutation of their own "science," hence the attack release. We call it running scared, despite the best efforts of their wacky auteur to shore up their flagging market share in the face of their failed world takeover scheme: the Global Country for World Peace.

Bonus reading: You've got to check out the ever expanding and impressive TM-Free blog. Read about failed presidential candidate John Hagelin's claim that TM™ caused the recent upward stock trends.

Memo to John: looks like the market is currently in the crapper. Is TM™ going to take credit for that too?


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Locals Done With Maha Dummies

File under: Gurubusting, Satscams and Wackadoo Gurus

When we last visited Gabrielle Wilson's Maha Devi Ascension Movement, they had just moved to the South Pacific island-nation of Niue, promising to bring in some big bucks for the local economy.

As it turns out, they were actually much better at taking things:
The sorry saga of the group of Americans who ran up a $400,000 bill in Niue, may be coming to an end.
Like any invasive species, MDAM moved into a habitat that would support them and sucked up all the resources for themselves, only to move on to greener pastures somewhere else, leaving a trail of ruins in their wake.

Well, maybe not ruins, just the bill for their food and essentials:
Local businesses exposed [MDAM] for running up huge unpaid debts for food and other items.

Officials seem to have now conceded that the group has got ... or had ... the better of them.
Just like Wilson still has the better of her sadly deluded devotees.

Wherever she ends up taking them, they are always going to be in a cloud of occluding nonsense that prevents them from coming to their own enlightenment. The best thing they can do for themselves is to simply leave the nutbag to her grandiose self-regard and deadbeat ways before they get dragged down with her, permanently.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Prem Rawat To World: F You!

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

He flies himself around the globe speaking about peace and charging up the ass for it, occasionally handing out a 5-figure check to some needy org, but only so it can be heralded by multiple, self-aggrandizing press releases. Meanwhile, he goes and spends 60 f-ing million dollars on himself for a brand new Gulfstream GV-SP.

According to a tipster, it might very well come with a gold-plated toilet:
Speculation is rife if Prem got a gold plated toilet in his new toy. This follows on from a habit of his formed in the 70s when he got his slave devotees to refurbish a Boeing 707 and installed a gold plated toilet on Maharaji's instructions.
Aren't you glad that Prem Rawat cares so much for the world that he upgraded from one carbon-emitting monster to an even bigger monster, and one he paid more for than the GNP of some of the countries he purports to be helping?

We imagine that shit in a gold-plated toilet stinks twice as bad out of the ass of the monster hypocrite sitting on the thing.

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Anti-Ammabots Go Online

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

We've just received notice about the creation of the Cult Of The Hugging Saint website, a much-needed critical look at Ammachi:
Welcome to, a place for alternative views on Mata Amritanandamayi (commonly known as "Amma" or the "hugging saint" in the Western media.) We hope to be able to provide information and views that have been censored or omitted from the mainstream press, allowing visitors to make an informed decision before jumping into a potentially damaging group.
Along with the recently-initiated ExAmma Yahoo! discussion group, folks are beginning to wake up to the fact that the overly-perfumed portly lady in white isn't much more than an Indian version of Pat Robertson.

Coming soon to this blog: a time-line of the events surrounding the Green Avenue beatdown by Amma devotees in New Delhi.


Monday, July 23, 2007

O.C.'s Kracki Jr. Still Pimpin'

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

He's an "American" guru who has hijacked the flimflam of pretty much every Indian scamatar out there. Enjoy the stink of a cesspool's worth of absolute bullshit:
Most reading is simply nerve impulses from the retina to the visual cortex where the images of words are stored and the movement of energy to various parts of the brain that hold the meaning of each word forming thought. In The Calling: A Journey Within Your Own Being the reader also starts conducting energy and has the experience of going into deeper and higher states of consciousness.

The reader is guided to read at a precise tempo and to breathe in and out at various times to create a relaxed state and then guided by suggestion to places within their mind they have likely never gone. Steven takes the reader lovingly through the process of transcending the trammels of the mind and senses through advanced Jhana and Advita yogic introspection tools that he learned from his masters and developed for western students. As the reader is guided to "observe your mind thinking" and then "observe the observer observing" students begin to access their own conscious awareness.
Springfield XD in 9mm, say hello to our forehead. It's the only way to recover a shred of dignity after seeing the nondual truth fisted by that elephant's foot of nonsense Mr. Headshot calls his wisdom.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

The One Where We Get Accurately Quoted On

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

A few weeks ago we got a call from Erik Davis, a chronicler of those sorts of things we find ourselves interested in. He wanted to know what we thought of Amma, so we told him:
As a fan of alt-dolls and vinyl figures, I'd have to say the Amma dolls are pretty cool. But for some observers of the spiritual scene, they incarnate nothing so much as spiritual infantilism. Jody Radzik, a 48-year-old graphic designer who writes the muckraking and funny Guruphiliac blog, calls Amma a "space mommy," which he defines as a guru who fulfills "the function of a cosmic parent for insecure, self-loathing devotees." A "spiritually informed skeptic," Radzik nonetheless considers himself a devotee of Kali and a follower of Vedanta, the non-dualist summa of Hindu thought. "Vivekananda described Vedanta very simply. Everyone is God. That means that a single person can't be more god than any other person. Gurus like Amma pay lip service to the Vedanta while also presenting themselves as special beings who wield magic powers because of their divinity. But self-realization is the opposite of magic -- it's the most mundane thing in their world. It's always right there right on the end of your nose. These gurus have people looking everywhere but the tip of their nose."
Actually, we said a whole lot more than that, but Erik did a pretty good job distilling our rhetoric down to the essentials.

But we certainly don't think that every Ammabot is an "insecure, self-loathing" devotee; just those who believe she can solve all their problems with a perfume-saturated hug:
Amma herself seems to wear her robes lightly; she is a cheery woman of little education who makes no divine claims and carries an air of good-humored humility. But the lore that surrounds her -- much of which derives directly from her tight-knit group of core disciples -- is redolent with the miraculous. Many devotees, East and West, believe that Amma's divine shakti can give them children, or fix their marriages, or make them money. One of the first Amma videos that comes up on YouTube shows a reenactment of a young Amma miraculously transforming water into pudding.
You can't go back to the womb, folks, and Mommy's magic is nothing more than your own power projected onto a spiritual authority figure. Stand up on your own two feet and make your own way though life. It's what you're all doing anyway, despite your self-inflicted beliefs to the contrary. The Lord helps those who help themselves. Remember that and know that you are every single bit as divine as Amma.

Every. Single. Bit.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

TM™ers Drool Over Kiwi Teens

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Always on the lookout for new demos to exploit, the minions of that mad old coot known as the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi have conned New Zealand education officials into allowing them to start teaching TM™ to troubled teens:
The school will make its "consciousness-based" education available to an initial 200 fee-paying pupils, with the group hoping to also open a facility in Christchurch.
This has us wondering, exactly what kind of education isn't "consciousness-based?"

This "education" might better be called "indoctrination-based," because that's exactly what these folks want, to churn out little TM™ers in the hopes they'll spread out and make more TM™ers, thereby giving the Mahahahaha-rishi someone to lord his dominion over. Too bad he's gonna be ashes in the wind well before that doesn't happen.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ramdev Sells It In The States

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

Ex-rancorous (or perhaps soon to be rancorous again) Swami Ramdev has come to conduct his New York and New Jersey yoga camps, and he sure was sucking up to his new friends (and future herd of sheep to fleece):
He also praised the US for assimilating the best from different cultures of the world and Americans for their openness to new ideas, which has led to a better quality of life here. "I consider these yogic qualities. We should respect that and learn from it," he said.
And shear it for all it's got...

The fact is, there is more and more to get over here. Ramdev, Sri Sri and the rest are just coming on to what Amma has known for years, and that is that we're a bunch of suckers for this stuff.

Claim it's not religious, dumb it down for the masses and act like clouds of incense come out of your ass when you fart, and you'll have it made in the States as another big-time purveyor of sand at the beach.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

Kreepalu Exonerated, But Still Way Creepy

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

It was the expected outcome, and one that may have had a lot less to do with innocence and likely a lot more to do with influence. Kripalu Maharaj has been cleared of the rape charges in Trinidad-Tobago:
Jagadguru Ram Tripathi Maharaj was told he was free to go, after Assistant Director of Public Prosecutions Roger Gaspard made the surprising decision to offer no evidence.

Gaspard said the evidence dealing with the alleged rape victim's lack of consent "is particularly tenuous. In the circumstances, the State will not be able to make out a prima facie case".
It all came down to a 'he said, she said'. And since she's a poor black girl of 22 and he's an alleged God-on-Earth with tons of cash, with it all coming down in a part of the world where it's sometimes just a bit easier to get what you pay for, you know how the math was going to add up.

Interestingly enough, some of Kreepalu's Kool-Aid brigade weren't so sure, one going so far as to attempt to post a comment containing a Wikipedia entry about the persecution of Hindus in Trinidad-Tobago. But for those stunningly duped devotees who believe the randy guru is Krishna, God has decided to smile on you today.

Our thanks and our heart goes out to those many abused devotees who came forward in the comments of the Kreepalu posts. The scoundrel got away with it again, we're afraid.

It all proves one of our general findings about life so far: God is one kinky Bitch with a very strange sense of humor.

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Kreepalu To Face Charges

File under: Gurus Doin' Time and Hands Where They Don't Belong

Much to our surprise, sex-crazed guru Kripalu Maharaj is back in Trinidad-Tobago to face the rape charges against him:
The pundit with a worldwide following of thousands has returned to Trinidad to face the charges of rape and molestation made against him by a devotee.

Jagadguru Ram Tripathi Maharaj was ordered to return to court on Monday by Deputy Chief Magistrate Mark Wellington, who returned Maharaj's passport last month and permitted the 85-year-old swami to leave Trinidad.

The swami is charged with the rape of a 22-year-old Guyanese woman and with indecently assaulting her.

The charges stem from an alleged incident last May in the prayer room of a house owned by a businessman in Palmiste, San Fernando.
We imagine Kreepalu's Kool-Aid brigade has been putting tremendous pressure on the accuser to recant. There will be high courtroom drama on Monday, but it remains to be seen if the gal actually goes through with it.

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Ramdev Not Rancorous In The U.K.

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

While Sri Sri sulks around getting pervy for media support to assuage his Nobel Peace Prize lust, Swami Ramdev is wowing them in London, England:
He is an international star with a series of sellout dates across Britain. He has millions of fans worldwide, many willing to pay more than £250 for the privilege of seeing him perform.

Rock'n'roll star? Platinum-selling rap artist? No, he is a yoga teacher - and he is about to host what is said to be the biggest yoga camp ever held in Britain.
Of course, his own people extend the fantasy for the Brits in the pursuit of pounds sterling:
A spokesman said: "Swami Ramdev is probably the most well known person in India, admired and followed by people from all walks of life, from politicians and Bollywood celebrities to housewives and rickshaw drivers."
Uh oh... we predict a huge eyeball lightning fight over those assertions. It's gonna be Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Swami Ramdev, Sai Baba, Kalki Bhagavan, Ammachi and Kripalu Maharaj on the field to duke it out for the title: Most Well-Known Person in India. The last one not burned to a crisp wins.

Honestly, if that actually happened, we'd all win, because there'd only be one insufferably self-aggrandizing occlusion pollution factory left.

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Kramer Tries To Clean Up With Sri Nit

File under: Gurus to the Stars and The Siddhi of PR

[Ed.note: We've run both hot and cold for Nithyananda over the last few years. For right now, the spigot is rather icy.]

Several readers have sent links detailing actor/comedian Michael Richard's journey of contrition with Swami Nithyananda in South Asia.

You may remember when the Seinfeld actor went on a racist tirade after getting heckled during a stand-up performance at a Los Angeles comedy club, effectively torpedoing what little career he had left.

You may also remember Nithyananda as the handsome young Swami who is working the style of both Swami Vivekananda, as well as that cheap imitation of Swami V., Paramhamsa Yogananda. Sri Nit has been building his satsang in Los Angeles with the combination of his rougish good looks, his boyish charms and his big-time guru aspirations, which include miracle-mongering and building a real-time hagiography to document his holy existence on this plane.

And now Nit has learned another trick of the big-time guru: get famous people to follow you, something that's worked for the Maharishi, Deepak Chopra, Gurumayi and the Man Amma.

When someone gets a little jnana, it sometimes goes straight to their head, making them believe they've been sent by God to save the world. But in order to do this, they've got to get famous and bring in the cash first.

Thus, once again, the truth of Vedanta – that we are all God equally – gets shat on by the very people who we trust to espouse this truth. In the end, the devotees get screwed while the guru sits on his dais and gloats over how rich and popular he's become.

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Our Shame In The Senate

File under: Backroom Gurudom

We regularly get accused to being anti-Indian, anti-Hindu, a hate site and various others distortions and amplifications of folks' projections and need to demonize any critics of their holy heroes. We also get accused of ignoring Christianity here in the States, as if we were on some kind of secret mission for Christian missionaries in India.

None of these things is true, of course. What follows is one of the most depressing things we've read about politics in the States in a time when there are mountains of depressing things to know about:
Senate aides have said that apparently the protestors who disrupted the beginning of Hindu chaplain Rajan Zed's history-making opening prayer in the US Senate July 12, belonged to the American Family Association. The association had been waging a vicious campaign to torpedo the invitation to Zed, ever since it was announced that a Hindu chaplain would deliver the opening prayer.

Three protestors identified as Ante Nediko Pavkovic, Katherine Lynn Pavkovic and Christan Renee Sugar by Capitol Hill police, who however, did not provide their hometown, ages and affiliations, were arrested, handcuffed and taken away when they shouted complaints from the gallery, including, "Lord Jesus, protect us from this abomination," as soon as Zed was introduced and began his prayer.

The Associated Press reported that the only male protestor among the three had told its correspondent before being handcuffed and hauled away by police, "We are Christians and patriots."

From the time reports began appearing in the mainstream media that a Hindu chaplain had been invited to open the US Senate session July 12 as a guest chaplain, the Tupelo, Mississippi-based American Family Association has been sending action alerts exhorting its members and other Christian fundamentalists to "send an e-mail to your Senator now, expressing your disappointment in the Senate decision to invite a Hindu to open the session with prayer."
So you see, we have our own RSS-like goons and the same kind of utterly ignorant, grandstanding and self-aggrandizing monsters of hubris known as fundamentalist-aligned elected officials.


Sri Sri Spits On Hand, Jacks Off The Press

File under: The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri is attempting to slime his way into a Nobel Peace Prize again this year, and he's got India's Daily News & Analysis shilling for him:
According to the buzz, spiritual guru Sri Sri Ravishankar is most likely to win the Nobel peace prize this year for his honorable contribution towards spreading the message of universal peace and harmony across the globe.
He's sure got us gagging again, so on the menu tonight: a delicate stomach wash of 2 parts Drano, 1 part sulfuric acid and a touch of gasoline with added lit match, just to kill off anything left still alive down there.


Amma Vs. Green Ave: Mommy Is Deaf

File under: Amma All-Over-The-World and Ammachi's Goongate

Another Green Avenue resident speaks up:
Dear All,

'Society' Magazine issue of June 2007 carried an article about the vicious attack on Vasant Kunj, New Delhi Residents, aptly titled by the 'Times of India' as 'Godwoman's ungodly men'.

Attached are two 'letters to the editor' published in the July edition of the 'Society'. One Sangeeta Prakash from Bangalore has written that Amma can not be held responsible for the misconduct of any of her millions of followers. My response as Ashwani's wife who was nearly killed on 20th April 2007 is that it was not a mere attack by Amma's followers, it was a pre-planned attack by the inmates of the Delhi Ashram/Muth and was personally supervised hands-on by a Brahamcharini named 'Rasamrita'. She is not only the incharge of Delhi Ashram but also the Principal of 'Amrita Vidyalayam' Saket, New Delhi. The most eerie fact of all is that in order to pre-empt the Police action, Rasamrita and other female inmates alleged molestation charges on Ashwani and others, knowing well that in this day and age this was the simplest way to corner a man as the onus of proof kind of shifts on to the person alleged. This would mean that the people who were brutally attacked would have to prove beyond all doubt that they had not molested but also that they were actually attacked with the intent to kill. Unfortunately, the way the Indian police & Judicial systems work, need much to be desired.

If this lady and the other ashramites truly had such high reverence for Amma and a proper well maintained hoarding/board was symbolic of their love for Amma, then why the mangled board at their Delhi ashram roof top has not been got repaired for over 2 months??. This board got mangled by a storm a few days after the goons attack on Ashwani as if it was nature's way of telling them that God above was watching and was not too pleased by what they had done!!

And the latest is that the Ashramites have removed the monsoon plantation along the colony roads leading to the Ashram on the 10th June 07. The only reason one can guess is that they want the roads to remain as wide as possible so that the followers who decend to this place in thousands during her annual visit for 3 days should be not inconvenienced due to the road loosing a wee bit of its width due to our stupid landscaping plantation.

Thanks and regards,

Anki Khurana

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

When Will Amma Hear Their Cries?

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Ammachi's Goongate

A letter sent to the home office of Ammachi's org, written by the Green Avenue neighborhood residents who were viciously attacked by a 50-deep posse of possible RSS goons:
May 4, 2007

The Personal Secretary to
Respected Mata Amritanandmayi
Mata Amritanandamayi Math
Amritapuri P.O.Kollam

Dear Sir/Madam,

We would like to bring to your attention an ugly incident that occurred in your Delhi Ashram in which the local in-charge Amma Swamini Rasamrita and Sh. Gopal alongwith 40-50 goons had attacked the residents of Green Avenue and their staff with an intent to kill. On 20th April 2007, Green Avenue Residents Association filed an FIR with the local Police and a copy of the same is attached for your reference.

It may also be brought to your notice that while the Ashram inmates including the above mentioned had preplanned and executed this act of violence, the entire association has found extremely repulsive the fact that they have also lodged a completely false criminal complaint against the residents. This was least expected from an Ashram belonging to Maa Amritanandmayi who is revered and respected by all.

This atrocity on residents by the Ashram inmates in which the person in-charge has been directly involved and which has evoked zero response from your Headquarters is now in the knowledge of innumerable people. The entire episode is being brought to the notice of the masses in the right perspective through emails as well as by the print and electronic media. A peaceful Dharna had also been organized by the residents of Vasant Kunj on 29.4.2007 in which many concerned citizens of Delhi were invited to join and was attended by at least 500 people. A note explaining the episode was widely circulated and is attached along with a memorandum signed by hundreds of people.

As decided in the mass gathering a memorandum is being sent to you for appropriate action from your end. It may be reiterated once again that the concerned citizens of Delhi are very perturbed by not just the ugly incident but also by the repulsive lies and false complaint initiated by the Delhi Ashram. It can further be established through the copies of the recent emails that are being attached herewith.

We would also like to bring to your attention that whenever Maa visits Delhi, the residents go out of their way and offer every assistance such as living space for devotees, free drinks and parking space in their farms etc. We are all feeling very disillusioned that instead of reciprocating our sentiments, rules and requests, the Ashram has resorted to violence and breaking the law.

Once again we request you to take immediate corrective action and oblige.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,
So far, as far as we know, no answer has been given, at all!

We guess Amma only loves those children of hers who give her money and provide beat-down services.

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Math Wiz To Cook SYDA Books?

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

A sharp-eyed reader passed this along today:
Rani Doyon ’08 [is] at the SYDA Foundation in South Fallsburg, N.Y. [as an intern], through the generosity of awards from the Monica Odening Student Internship and Research Fund in Mathematics.
What would a math wiz be doing as an intern at the SYDA center? According to a number of comment-leavers here, Gurumayi and her minions have a lot of stashed cash. Maybe Rani will be tapped to find creative ways of keeping the loot safe from marauding bill-collectors and the like.

Update:A former member of SYDA comes up with a few suggestions for the new accounting intern:
Gosh! There are SO many things that Rani could focus on: Gurumayi's Swiss bank big have they gotten by now and will that be "enough" to satisfy the fashionista guru's very extravagant taste, the golden parachutes given to former CEO's, now living happily on the dakshina of poor dupes, where to put the money from the sale of Sadhana Kutir, how to find ways of asking for even more dakshina for projects, once promised but never even begun...hey, how about that bridge over the road from the yoga center? She can track the "Capital Improvement" fundraising scam..that resulted in A LOT of capital but no "improvements". The list is endless...the internship not quite long enough. As SYDA seems to slide into cyber-space, what's the use of all that land in upstate NY? And how to unload it as profitably as possible? with no taxes? and still scarf up the daksina....


Monday, July 09, 2007

Some Pictures Of Amma's Love

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Ammachi's Goongate

A look at the effect Amma's love after her goons beat some of the residents of the Green Avenue neighborhood in New Delhi, India.

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Slick Willie Outshines Sri Sri

File under: Backroom Gurudom and The Siddhi of PR

Sri Sri shared the stage with Bill Clinton at the Telugu Association of North America conference in Washington, DC, but he couldn't hold a candle to the randy former president of the U.S (and the favorite around here.) Bill was there to stump for his wife's run at U.S. prez, Sri Sri to increase his Q score over here.

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The Maharishi: Then (And Now)

File under: Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Back in 1967, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was little more than a glorified rock groupie with delusions of grandeur:
The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has cabled his approval for a cross-country tour with the Beach Boys...

When a reporter questioned the Maharishi on his previous intention of withdrawing into silence this year, he said, "Have you seen Life [magazine] this week? They did a four-page color spread on me." [From the May 11, 1968, edition of Rolling Stone magazine.]
Ah, to be a (relatively) young self-aggrandizing con man again, rather than a decrepit old coot with a mind left hanging on just a few living brain cells.

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Sunday, July 08, 2007


FIle under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet, Satscams and The Siddhi of PR

Amma's miracle-mongering department produces a reenactment of a supposed miracle purported to have occurred in 1975, when she allegedly turned water into pudding.

Please excuse us while we blow chunks all over our pretty iMac...

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Ammachi: It Only Gets Worse

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Ammachi's Goongate

Just when you thought you'd heard it all, like Ammachi turning out to be, at the very least, aligned with the people and goals of the radical, racist, Hindu nationalist right; and at worst, a foaming-at-the-mouth radical nationalist herself; her org goes one up from even that after the residents of one of her ashrams got all gangsta' on the residents of the Green Avenue neighborhood outside New Delhi, India, a few months ago:
"A bus loaded with about 40-50 goondas armed with lathis and iron rods came out of the bus and attacked us. The goons snatched our mobile phones and a lady ashramite tore her clothes and threatened us that's she'd tell the police we molested her."
We especially love the false "rape" charges threat. Way to work that satya yama, lady!

And believe it or not, it gets much worse:
"The holligans started shouting, 'we will kill the bald man' and charged vengefully screaming at [the bald man] to get out of the way"
This was after they has already trashed a golf cart and more than a couple of the Green Ave. residents, along with their security guard.

Apparently, the ashramites had put up a sign for Amma's visit, which the Green Ave. residents were fine with. But after Amma's visit, the residents wanted the sign down as it was in breach of the local covenant. After a long period without response from Amma's folks, the residents took it upon themselves to remove the sign. When they showed up to do so, the ashramites attending the sign made a few phone calls. Soon afterward, a bus showed up with 50 goons and Amma's love came at the Green Ave. residents with canes and crow bars.

Of course, the cops did absolutely nothing. They are probably owned by the membership of the RSS... and possibly included in Amma's muscle in this case.

What we can't figure out is if this is an example of Amma's love in action, or a symptom of not enough of Amma's love. If it is Amma's love, it's certainly much more of a tough love than folks in the States are aware of. If it's an example of not enough love, then we need to be taking a look at treatment options for these folks' obviously imbalanced hug addiction.

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Saturday, July 07, 2007

Kreepalu's Kool-Aid Brigade

File under: Gurus Doin' Time, Hands Where They Don't Belong and The Siddhi of PR

He's skated clean away from an indictment on rape charges in Trinidad and Tobago and is allegedly now in Texas, playing God for a pack of dupes in the States. Meanwhile, a public relations war rages on in the comments section of this post, by far the most comments any post has ever received here. Last night, this abortion of everything true and wise about gurudom turned up in his defense:
• Is Kripalu ji incarnation of Krishna?

Not just an incarnation, HE IS KRISHNA HIMSELF!!!

• Is he all knowing and all-powerful?

You bet, he knows your past, present and future. He knows every thought of your mind because he is sitting right in your heart as your own Super Soul. [And pigs fly, bats swim and O.J. Simpson didn't do it, either.] Some times he uses his divine powers only if he chooses to but not always.

• Is consensual sex between devotees and Kripalu ji acceptable?

Yes. He has many devotee-couples living in and out of his ashrams raising their own families. Those females who are totally - 100% dedicated to him can have all possible earthly relations with him whom they worship as Lord Krishna. But only if and when he wants to, not by their demand but by their unconditional surrender and submission to his wishes.

• Will this act take them to Golok?

His devotees already feel fortunate that they are in Golok with their Lord Krishna. Why they need to go any where else?

• What portion of donation is diverted for Kripalu ji and his family?

Everything is offered for his Seva. He in turn takes care of all his Sevak's - devotees' needs, material and spiritual. His family is also being shaped and prepared into playing and taking his role upon them for smooth transition of powers. After him, naturally, they act as his true successors to lead the mission.
You have got to hand it to the randy pervert for turning his sex drive into a gold mine, all just by fooling a quantity of devout idiots who would believe anything anyway, so deep is their infantile drive to have a magic space-daddy in their lives.

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Friday, July 06, 2007

Ammachi: Hindu Nazi

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet

The hidden side of the "hugging saint" just gets uglier and uglier.

Here's a video of Ammachi's best friends in India, the RSS. They're the ones who killed Gandhi, hence that little Gandhi trashing by Amma's swami earlier this week. They are about as close to Nazi fascists as you can be without saying "ya" and "nein".


Charles Cannon: Master Of Crazy

File under: The Siddhi of PR and Wackadoo Gurus

There must be a dearth of newsworthy events to report in Virginia, because for the second time in a month, another seemingly reputable news org is reporting on the wackadoo nuttiness of "Master" Charles Cannon and his "blessed Mother" as if it's a bona fide miracle:
A devout follower of meditation, Master Charles has been seeing the apparition since the age of three, but only made that public knowledge nine months ago.

"The blessed mother said to me, 'don't talk about this, don't share this a time will come when you will,'" Master Charles said.

That time was his 60th birthday. Today, he claims he is able to bring the apparition to the masses, and each month, delivers a monthly message from her to his followers.

Though she only speaks to him, those there say she is visible to believers.

"I picked up some faint gold around the face of the statue and of course some auras, the white light and auras," Sandy Beebe said.

"It's like a vibrating shadow around the statue, and it's also these tiny, tiny particles I saw. It's like snow crystals," Martin Thambert described.
Oh, the humanity of it all! You know things are headed to hell in a hand basket when seemingly reputable purveyors of current events news lower themselves to the bottom of the barrel by reporting on a matter like this.

Cannon must be offering kickbacks to local reporters to cover this nonsense. He gets more dupes, they get some cash, and the nondual truth gets to take it hard right up the backside. Greed wins as self-realization is crushed in an avalanche of superstitious fancy and mind-clogging, occluding expectations, all having as much to do with any actual spiritual truth as an episode of the Debbie Does Dallas series of fine motion picture entertainments.

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Thursday, July 05, 2007

Amma: Mistress Of The Hindu Right

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and Backroom Gurudom

Based on what's come out of discussions in the comments of the last few posts, it's becoming clear that Ammachi is the favorite daughter of the radical Hindu fundamentalist right in India even while she feigns the peaceful Goddess of Hugs in the U.S.

From last week's Tehelka piece:
Mata Amritanandamayi Devi née Ms Radhamani fits Malayali decadence to a T. She is reckoned to be one of the country’s richest gurus. She is a handmaiden of the Sangh Parivar, especially the VHP, with its global fund-flows.
We dug a little deeper [Ed.note: We know it's very uncharacteristic of us.] and discovered just who the VHP are:
On December 6, 1992 the Babri Mosque was demolished by a large group of Hindus, who had been camped out at the site for weeks. Members of the VHP were allegedly part of this large group, as reported by the Human Rights Watch...

The demolition of the mosque in 1992 led to violence. Muslim mobs took to rioting in various parts of the country leading to communal violence and resultant police action. Over 900 people were killed across the country in riots and police action. The Liberhan Commission headed by Justice Liberhan was constituted to investigate the whole episode. A large number of VHP workers testified before the commission.

The incident at the disputed structure came as a shock to many Indians, who had known the VHP as a peaceful organization...

Continually criticizing its political ally the BJP for acting too slowly on the Ram temple issue, conversions and a uniform civil code, the VHP demands legislation from Parliament authorizing the temple construction, and the proclamation of a Hindu Rashtra, literally the "Hindu Nation," in Bharat and explains it as a statement of cultural nationalism
Imagine the most radical Christian fundamentalist politicians in the States and you've got an idea about the goals of the BJP. Imagine a group more radical even than that and you know something about the VHP.

And now you know who their queen is...

Amma, in all sense of the word, is as sweet as Amritham (honey).

-VHP leader Ashok Singal

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Amma Poops On Gandhi

File under: Amma All-Over-The-Planet and The Siddhi of PR

Keeping up the momentum on her continuing downward spiral, Ammachi has allowed the publication of this trashing of Mahatma Gandhi in her magazine Immortal Bliss:
Ghandi, on the other hand, took the momentous decision to give up truth for the sake of saving the innocent lives of a few, heeding the small voice of his consciousness. But, when he consented to divide the country, contrary to his wishes of gaining independence for India through non-violent means, what happened surpassed any massacre in the known history of the nation. The tragic story did not end there. Even today, the killing spree that started then goes on unchecked in the form of wars and skirmishes between India and Pakistan, as extermination of Hindus in Kashmir by militant groups, and as threats of an atomic war loom ominously over the horizon.
Er... we suppose the swami who wrote this garbage has a better idea. Oh look! He does! When in doubt, just resort to superstitious nonsense to save the day:
Just imagine what would have been the course of history had Ghandi consulted one of the contemporary Mahatmas who could have foreseen the outcome of the historic decision. There were many, like Anandamayi Ma, Maharshi, Nityananda, Narayana Guru, Chattambi Swami, Yogananda and Mahayogi Aurobindo. He had met most of them and had great respect for all of them.
Just imagine what any of those "Mahatmas" would have said. In fact, imagine seven different answers, because that's what you would have gotten, seven entirely different speculations by seven different people, the swami's ridiculous notion that they had access to some kind of objective divine wisdom notwithstanding.

Regardless of the swami's superstition-bound ludicrousness, the object of the article was realized, which was to present Gandhi as a bit of a dumbass for not going to a guru to find out what he should have done.

And thus, Amma and her swami shit all over Indian history in their effort to make her out to be the avatard of this age.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Wackadoos On Wall Street

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars and The Siddhi of PR

TM™ers have invaded Wall Street, occupying a building they bought in May 2004, mostly because it's one of the few buildings in New York City that faces east.

If that senile old coot in Holland could have his obsessive-compulsive dreams brought to life, every building in every town in every country would face east. And according to him, we'd all be enlightened and rich because of it.

And because the world is full of folks just dying to drink some guru's Kool-Aid, there are seemingly intelligent people by the bushel who believe in this ridiculous nonsense:
"The pursuit of money hasn't really brought real happiness, real fulfillment," he said. "We hope to be able to rebuild the whole world to be fortune-oriented buildings, to be heaven on earth."
Apparently, the pursuit of sanity isn't on their to-do list.

Bonus blind item: Which wacky auteur is paying $1,000,000 just to meditate in the same room with the brain cell-losing leader of TM™? It seems like a another in a long-line of TM™ ripoff schemes, as said leader will be sitting behind a screen the whole time.

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